This Time
by itwasadream
Summary: Starts the summer before Senior year when Rachel and Quinn find themselves working together but by the time school starts, things have drastically changed. Not necessarily for the best. Eventual Faberry. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright. First chapter of a brand new fic. It's moodier than BWYDT. Issues aren't resolved by the end of each chapter but there are lighter moments. I wouldn't classify it as angst over fluff. It's a good balance of light and dark. More angsty in the beginning, fluffier towards the end. If you're looking for something fluffy all the time, stick with the prequel to BWYDT which will be posted on my blog starting tomorrow, 1/4/11 (link on my profile).**

**As the first chapter of the fic, it's mostly just build up. Hopefully it will be enough to bring you back for another chapter or two when things really get going around chapter 3. This is a progressive fic that will take a few chapters to get to where the action is. I know that's one of the hard things about reading. You just want to jump right in there but I couldn't do it with this particular fic. I promise that if you hang in there, it will be worth the wait. **

**There are mini time jumps in the first several chapters so you will need to pay attention to the headings. Once school starts, it will fall into a day-to-day setting.**

**Feel free to leave me comments or send me messages, good or bad. I don't mind hearing what you would like to see done differently. I'll see what I can do to fit it in there as long as it will work. Angst is a different style than I'm use to. I can do issues, but I tend to like to resolve them quickly (it's just part of my personality) and move on to the happier stuff, so this fic was a particular challenge for me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

**Two weeks before senior year begins:**

"What the hell was that?" Quinn asked bringing her hand to her mouth. She backed up a step and looked at Rachel with shock and horror plastered all over her face. Rachel knew she had just messed up and her stomach dropped.

The diva could feel her heart thudding rapidly in her chest. Her skin was burning as panic swept over her and she started sweating as her ears registered a ramble of "I... uh... Quinn... I..." But never manged to get her mouth to form anything remotely close to an actual sentence. She was floundering in a sea of panic. What did she just do? Why did she do it? What good did she think was going to come out of it? She shifted her weight and played with her fingers while she swallowed audibly around the hard lump in her throat that was cutting off her air supply.

"You kissed me." Quinn stated in pure disbelief, barely above a whisper as she stared at the brunette with a dropped brow and unblinking gaze. "You just kissed me."

"Quinn, I'm sorry." Rachel apologized and took a step closer, but Quinn took a bigger one backwards, still holding her fingers to her mouth where the brief and regretful connection had been made. The reinforced space between them made Rachel's blood go cold with rejection.

"Don't." She ordered, lifting her other hand and raising a finger in protest. "Just... just stay there. I... I need to leave." She said, taking another few steps backwards towards her car.

Rachel found herself taking small, desperate steps towards her, holding out her hands, begging her to stay for just one more minute. "Please, let me just-" She knew she had messed up but she needed to know that things were going to be okay. "Quinn, I'm sorry." She needed to know that Quinn wasn't going to hate her for the rest of her life, that the blonde wasn't going to see her at school and turn around and walk away so she didn't have to be near her. Leaving her with a constant reminder that she had once again screwed everything up for herself and everyone around her. She just needed the smallest sign that she hadn't just ruined everything they had built over the summer. "Quinn, I'm sorry. Can I please just explain?" But she didn't find it.

Quinn shook her head, staring hard at the now tearing brunette before she turned and ran to her car. There wasn't even a second's worth of hesitation before the headlights came on and the car peeled out of the parking lot. Rachel stood, shaking as she cried, and watched the blurred taillights disappear in front of her. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what she had hoped for, what she had been so lost in thought with. No. This was the beginning of heart break like she had never felt before.

~/~/~/~

**Six weeks before Senior year:**

"Oh, no." Quinn held up her hand and shook her head. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You have _got_ to be kidding me. This is some sort of elaborate joke, right?"

"Is there a problem Miss Fabray?"

_Yes. She's about five two, insanely annoying, and standing right in front of us. _Quinn pursed her lips and avoided her boss' disapproving eyes, hoping her silence would be an acceptable enough answer to keep her from having to provide a typical Fabray response that would result in her losing the summer job her mother was requiring her to have.

"I didn't think so." Mr. Matthews, a tall, bumbling, arrogant man with thinning browm hair and patchy, oily, pale skin taunted. Why anyone would ever eat at an ice cream shop run by such a vile looking man was beyond her. She was only there for the money and it didn't require her waiting tables or frying burgers, so she couldn't pass it up. "Now that your attitude is back in place, perhaps you can begin training our new employee."

Quinn closed her eyes in dramatic repulsion and opened them again, looking away from a nervous and out of place Rachel Berry. The blonde's bottom lip drew taunt in anger as the man snickered as he walked away, leaving Quinn fuming and Rachel a little less than amused herself. She was tired of being the one always picked. Tired of being the one who people intentionally hurt or having her feelings walked all over as if they didn't exist. She hated feeling like the world and everyone in it would enjoy their lives so much more if she was just to go away. It was a horrible feeling to not feel wanted. Forget being appreciated, she wasn't even wanted and she was tired of it all.

They both waited in silence until their boss disappeared behind the swinging double doors leading to the back and Quinn took a sudden step closer to the petite diva, making her uncomfortable with the invasion of her personal space. "What are you doing here?"

"I would have thought the answer to such a question would have been obvious. Even for someone with a cheerleader's IQ." Rachel had thought that the comment was silent but judging by Quinn's reaction, it wasn't. A sudden wave of panic washed over the diva and then this strange sensation of freedom. Her unexpected actions had left her out there and feeling completely vulnerable, but it brought with it an adrenalin rush that she found addictive and freeing.

Quinn pulled her head back, not expecting the insult but she recovered quickly with another step forward, causing Rachel to take one backwards. "Find. Another. Job."

The diva recovered just as quickly and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. She raised her chin slightly in the air, producing a smug smile for the cheerleader to scowl at. "I think I might enjoy this one far too much to part with it just yet."

"You don't even eat ice cream. You're vegan. You should be appalled to even stand in this shop."

"While your ability to remember any detail of my life is flattering, your condescending tone has left me less than amused and therefore much more inclined to maintain my employment here." While she had to admit that her confidence in the confrontation was drastically out of character, seeing the blonde stumble was empowering. She could actually see the appeal and might even see why Quinn was so keen on acting this way.

The blonde dropped her brow and shook her head in animated confusion. Who was this girl? She wasn't Rachel Berry. Rachel would have just rolled her eyes and demanded that they skip the argument and start the training. Rachel would have defended her position here, explaining why she would be willing to work in an ice cream shop when she probably wrote letters to every major distribution company, complaining about their treatment of the animals used in the production of their product.

"Look, I don't know what crawled up your butt and died, but I'm not going to take the attitude. Especially not from you."

The diva met Quinn's strong gaze with her own. "Then get over yourself and stop giving it to me. I can remain civil if I am assured that you are willing to do the same. I'm not going anywhere despite your protests, so you can either make this arrangement functional or miserable. That choice is solely yours."

Rachel stood her ground, still holding her arms over her chest and kept a stern look on her face, waiting for Quinn to make her decision. The blonde looked back to the doors her boss had vanished through and growled lightly. She needed this job and she was already walking a thin line with the man. "Just keep your mouth shut and your question to a minimum." She demanded before turning around and heading back behind the counter. Rachel followed a good distance behind her, not wanting to push her luck. She may have been putting up a good front, but even just that much of a verbal confrontation had her heart pounding from nerves.

"Where do we start?"

"We start with you telling me _now_ if you are going to complain about having to serve someone ice cream or if you are going to lecture the customers for their choice of summer treat." The diva pouted again, turning her eyes away from the blonde and to the long case of ice cream tubs on display for the customers to select from. "Actually, on second thought, by all means. Lecture away. If you run away some of the business then maybe Mr. Douche Bag will fire you and grant me an early Christmas present." Rachel returned her cold stare to the blonde who had already broken their silent agreement of tolerance. Quinn realized it and looked away in apology, to proud to actually say the words. "If you do, he _will_ fire you."

The warning was a little rough, but Rachel could sense a sliver of sincerity in it and relaxed the tension in her shoulders. It was a weird interaction they had going on. It was almost one of equals at the moment. Maybe that's what she had been needing to do all along. Stop taking people's shit and dish it back every once in awhile. She wouldn't have to be mean like Quinn, just mean back. It would only be in response to her treatment. She opened her mouth to ramble on about her appreciation for the blonde's concern but opted for a simple and light "Thank you" instead.

"Yeah. Don't mention it. Really. Don't." The diva nodded her head lightly and returned to her inspection of the various flavors and colors of ice cream. "Everything is pretty straight forward. They tell you what they want and you give it to them. Everything's labeled. They want toppings, you give them toppings. What you're going to have to learn is the cash register and the shakes and smoothies." Quinn explained walking backwards until she reached the counter with the smoothie maker. "We have cheat sheets for ingredients though, so it's still not a big deal. You'll be fine. And I'll work the cash register until you learn it. You can look over my shoulder or something."

"Thank you."

"Whatever."

The pair fell into an awkward silence. Quinn was huddled in the corner of two counters, looking at the ground while Rachel remained where she was, arms crossed, staring out of the glass door entrance. "So, now what?"

"Now we wait until we have a customer. There's a lot of down time." _A lot of down time leaving __you more than enough time to drive me to commit murder._ "So why _are_ you working here? I thought you would have found a summer job giving dance classes or vocal lessons... Actually, I didn't even think your dads would make you work."

"And why wouldn't they? Am I not like every other teenager?"

"No. You have two dads that spoil you and allow you to think that you're the best at everything and therefore more inclined to spend your summer vacation honing your talents, not working in an ice cream shop."

Rachel huffed. "What about you? You're parents are the wealthiest family in Lima. Why do you have a summer job?"

Quinn looked down with an expression Rachel hadn't seen on her face in a while. Embarrassment and pain. "My parents divorced last year. Mom has been a house wife for the last twenty-three years and... I'm just having to help out a little."

Rachel was actually impressed with the openness the blonde was showing and decided to follow suite. "I was giving lessons. However, my critiques were not easily accepted by my pupils' parents and I have found myself without students. I... may have also damaged my Daddy's car just slightly and am being held responsible for the repairs."

The blonde couldn't help but to smile and failed at holding back a little laugh. Rachel couldn't even accept the blame for something she had done wrong, or what she 'may have' done wrong. "How did you damage the car?"

Rachel brought her hand to the glass case and ran her finger along it as she walked its length. "I backed into our mailbox." Quinn scrunched her face in confusion. "It is one of those rod iron, ornate mail boxes that weigh over one hundred pounds and didn't move much when I hit it."

"I'm sure, but it's _your_ mail box. How did you not know where it was?"

"I was a little distracted. That's all."

Quinn shook her head, knowing the only time Rachel was ever short on details was when it was either going to get her in trouble, or laughed at. "Spill it."

The diva raised her brow and shook her head. "I have no idea what you are referring to, but if-"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. What had you distracted?" Rachel opened her mouth and met Quinn's amused eyes but then looked back down again, never responding. "Okay. That's alright. I'll figure it out eventually. And that is free game for harassment, because I would laugh at anyone who managed to do something like that."

Rachel laughed nervously. "Then I'll see to it that you never find out. No offense, but you are one of the last people I would willing provide that information to. Santana's the only one that beats you out."

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the biggest bitch you know."

The brunette shook her head. "You come off as the second." Quinn didn't know why but the joke hit her a little harder than she had anticipated. She actually felt a stab in her gut at the confirmation that the diva saw her as a bitch. She should. Quinn had given her every reason, but it was just different to hear it in words.

Still, the blonde pushed the pain away and went stone-faced to hide the hurt. "Then I guess I might just have to work a little harder to regain my title."

~/~/~/~

"No." Quinn whispered harshly, trying to keep her voice down so the customers didn't hear her. "Jesus, it's a milk shake. How hard is it for you to handle that?" She grabbed a fresh pitcher and quickly made one herself, leaving Rachel staring into her disaster of a concoction and feeling more useless than she had in a while. It really wasn't hard, but she just couldn't seem to figure out what she kept doing wrong and it made her feel stupid and a chore just to be around. She watched as the blonde turned around with a beaming smile and handed the customer the shake and proceeded to collect the money. Rachel was suppose to be watching but figured Quinn wanted her space more.

Once the customers left and the door shut with the ringing of that stupid bell, Quinn's smile fell back into her predictable scowl she had been wearing all day. Rachel leaned back against the counter and continued to look at the failed shake. "What did I do wrong?"

"You drowned it. You need to pay more attention to the amounts of the ingredients you put in there. No one wants a shake that is more like a soup. It needs to be thicker."

"How do I get it thicker?"

Quinn turned around and looked at her coldly. "You put the right amount of ice cream in it."

"I couldn't scoop it out of the tub. It was too hard." Rachel explained in a bit of a whine and the blonde rolled her eyes. She could handle Rachel's rambles better than her whining.

"If your that much of a frickin weakling then keep a cup of hot water when you scoop. Dip the scoop in the water and it will glide through the ice cream easier." Rachel stared at her as she snatched the cup from her hand and ran the ice cream scoop under hot water and then easily managed to obtain a full serving of hard chocolate ice cream before plopping it into the cup and handing it back to her. "Simple enough for you?"

Rachel accepted the cup and nodded her head, looking at the drowning scoop of ice cream. "I would have never thought about the hot water."

"That's because you don't eat ice cream." Quinn explained. Her tone may have been annoyed but she was providing the diva with an excuse. "Why are you here? Are there no other places you could get a job?"

Rachel suddenly felt like she was in the way again. I mean, Quinn couldn't even bring herself to face the diva as she spoke to her. Instead, she stared at the counter in front of her. "It's the middle of the summer. Most jobs have already been filled. It was either this or McDonald's and I am _not_ frying animals. While the treatment of animals within the dairy industry is atrocious, they pale in comparison."

"Comparison to being eaten?" Quinn joked with a smile, seemingly oblivious to the wincing the diva was doing. "But they just taste so damn good. I mean, nothing is better than a huge chunk of steak sitting on your plate, marinating in it's own juices. God, my mouth is watering just thinking about it." She grinned to herself and then shot the smug look over her shoulder to the scolding brunette. "Doesn't that sound delicious to you, Stubbles?"

~/~/~/~

"How was your first day of work, Kiddo?" Mark asked as his daughter walked into the house looking completely defeated. The tall, thin, dark skinned man sat on the couch in the living room while Rachel stomped her way in and collapsed down next to him in her typical dramatic fashion.

"Is that question really required? Or can you not tell by my emotive body language?"

He looked at her with pursed lips before flipping the TV off and shifting in his seat to half face her, an arm propped on the back of the couch. "Long day? Drama with dairy? Or something else?"

"The something else made it and extremely long day and even managed to overshadow my drama with the dairy." The diva pouted, dropping her chin to her chest. "Quinn Fabray works there."

Mark could barely hear the mumble but figured it out rather quickly. "That's the cheerleader, right?" Rachel nodded. "The one that Finn lied to you about?"

"No. That was Santana, the only one that would have been worse for me to be stuck with on a day to day basis for the remainder of summer vacation."

"Oh. I see." He nodded his head slowly. "Then this is the cheerleader whose boyfriend you stole."

Rachel looked up at him in disbelief. "You make it sound as if you're scolding me and taking the side of one of the people who has made my life miserable for the last three years."

"Always the drama queen." He teased, pulling her into a reluctant hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I'm just trying to keep all of these cheerleaders straight. You know they all dress the same and act the same... and probably think the same. Do you think it's the uniform that sucks away any ounce of unique personality they might have possessed at one time?"

He could tell Rachel was smiling now. "It might be."

"I think it is. But anyway, how horrible was she? Are you going to look for another job at McDonald's?"

The diva shook her head as she sat back up. "No. She... she wasn't as bad as she could have been. Highly insensitive to my vegan beliefs and definitely lacking with patience, but it could have been worse. I just felt unwanted all day and it was emotionally draining."

Mark nodded his head slowly and ran a hand over his daughter's hair. "Well, maybe you two working together will give you a better understanding of one another. She might see you for the wonderful person you really are and likely to be more receptive of it without your fellow peers around."

"Doubtful." Actually, Rachel had already thought about that and just didn't want to admit it yet. Between Quinn and Santana, the blonde would be the one more open to the possibility of not really a friendship, but at least an understanding. She had helped Rachel with Finn that once, but other things had distorted even that friendly gesture. She was over high school. It was all a joke anymore. People who were friends one day were talking behind your back the next. People who helped you off the ground were quickly the ones pushing you back down.

"Hey. You never know. Don't rule out the possibility until you've at least tried."

"I'll try. It's just whether or not she will see it as my attempt at maintaining a level of civil interactions or me just trying to piss her off by sticking around. But judging by her attitude today, I don't see tomorrow being any different."

"Tomorrow's a new day. So let it be. Don't bring today into it."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You all are insane. Between favoriting, story alerts, and reviews, I had nearly 200 emails for the last chapter. Unreal. I'm glad you all are liking it already. And I'm super glad to be back to writing. Serious, that was like, the longest five days of my life. It was so weird to not have a posting schedule to keep to. And I missed you all!**

**Like I said in the last A/N... I think... This story really starts taking off in the next few chapters after this one. This is another update to set the mood and really build on the girl's current relationship. Touching on things that are going to pull them together and push them apart. **

**I should probably clarify that while there is a lot of arguing in this fic, there's going to be lots of laughs shared between the girls. I'm taking the 'one step forward, two steps back' approach with this fic. There's always going to be progress, but it's never going to be anything substantial. What I'm trying to say is there isn't that 'oh my god. I suddenly lover her and want to come out to everybody tomorrow and will gladly take the harassment if it means I can be with her' moment. I'm trying to keep it as realistic as possible. In other words, there's going to be conflict until the end probably. It will just get smaller with time... after it gets bigger... I'm just going to shut up now.**

**This chapter is a little short, but not too bad. However, I promise to make up for it with the next one seeing as I'm making you go all weekend without an update. It will be almost twice this length. But thank you all for reading and reviewing. Enjoy!**

**~/~/~/~/~/~**

**Five Weeks before Senior year begins:**

"Now show me." Quinn ordered, taking a seat on the counter top and pointing to the blender. "Make me a strawberry shake."

"Are you a paying customer? Because I'm not sure Mr. Mathe-"

"Mr. Douche Bag." Rachel pursed her lips at the inappropriate correction. "You really need to learn to relax. You and I aren't going to last another week if you don't find even the slightest bit of a sense of humor."

"And this is coming from someone who walks around school while looking like she has the long end of a cross shoved up her butt."

Quinn stared at the brunette for a minute before slowly nodding her head. "Touche. But no. When he's gone, we get free range over the sweet stuff... or I do at least. Besides, you still need to prove yourself. So... make me a strawberry shake." She ordered again and watched as Rachel went to work, making sure to have the correct amount of each ingredient, annoyingly so. She double and triple checked everything. If she kept this up she would have customers fleeing for the door. Eventually she would get to the point where she could just go by looking at it. "So far so good." The diva smiled in pride. "But you're taking too long." Her smile fell before moved to the blender. "No!" Quinn jumped off the counter and was within reaching distance when Rachel flipped the blender on without covering it properly.

Strawberry shake went everywhere. All over the counter, the floor, and splashed a little in both Rachel and Quinn's faces. The diva froze in shock and relied on a frantic blonde to switch the machine off before standing in stunned silence herself. "Oh... my... God..." Quinn nodded her head slowly, afraid to say anything in response that wouldn't have Rachel running out the door in tears as she looked around for a rag to clean herself off with, because she wasn't going to clean up this mess by herself. "Oh... my... God..." Rachel repeated.

"It's alright. I'm going to let it slide. Everyone does it once. This is your once. Next time though... I'll get pissed if I have to walk around for the rest of the night with sticky shit on me."

"...It went in my mouth."

Quinn dropped the white towel from her face and looked at Rachel who was standing frozen with a look of horror on her face. Her brow was dropped, her eyes tearing, and her mouth contorted in a mix between a frown and a cry. "It what?"

"It went in my mouth. I just... consumed... dairy." It started as a light chuckle, then turned into a steady giggle from the blonde. As Rachel turned to face the other girl, the giggle turned into a full out hysterical laugh that had Quinn clutching her sides as they ached. "It's not funny."

"No. It's hilarious." The blond managed between gasps for breath. Rachel was shaking with rage. Not just at the fact that she had unwillingly consumed a product she very much found offense in, but the blonde's complete disregard for her feelings. This wasn't the first time. It was an hourly occurrence for Quinn to make some sort of comment or joke, belittling Rachel's beliefs. But this would certainly be the last time. Quinn's howling laughter turned into a howl of shock as Rachel threw the remaining content of the pitcher on her.

Now it was Rachel's laughter that escalated as the thick pink liquid dripped down the blonde's shocked face and chest as she blinked it out of her eyes. This was better than a slushie facial. But the diva's face instantly lost all amount of amusement when she hear the rough warning. "You're dead."

"Wha- oaf!" Rachel was on the floor with Quinn straddling her torso, fighting with her flailing arms. "Quinn. Stop!"

The blonde grinned devilishly as the milk shake dripped down onto the horrified diva who frantically turned her head side to side, trying to avoid it without victory. "Nope. Sorry. The dairy demons have control now." For someone who complained about not being able to scoop a full serving of hard serve ice cream, Rachel was putting up a good fight and keeping Quinn's hands at bay. The cheerleader figured it must be the power of her convictions that game her tiny body such strength. Every time she thought she had the brunette's arms pinned to the ground, they lifted back up in the air. "I will have my revenge."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am. I'm sorry."

Quinn wasn't buying it and when she finally managed to get Rachel's hands pressed back down to the ground by her head, she leaned forward and rubbed the side of her face to Rachel's, smearing the pink milk shake all over the screaming girl. The loss of hearing in her ear was completely worth the look on her face when Quinn stood up in victory and looked down on the milk shake coated vegan. "I win." She panted as Rachel stayed there in horror, too defeated to fight back anymore. That will teach her not to step out of line again. "I got my satisfaction out of that, but try anything like that again... And I _will_ kick your ass."

Rachel barely recognized the blonde's words as she was still too busy processing what was sinking into her skin and sticking to her hair. All the animals that had suffered to make that. Quinn smiled wickedly once more and walked over the brunette to the bathroom, pulling her hair out of her pony tail as she pushed the door open energetically.

"Never mess with a Fabray. We will win, even if we have to cheat to do it."

**~/~/~/~/~/~**

_ I'm going to kill her. If she doesn't shut up, I'm going to kill her. Yep. I am going to kill her. Wait, no. I can't kill her. Jail time would not look good on a college application and I am sure as hell getting out of this town... but I want to kill her. Maybe I could gag her. No, I'd still have to listen to her whine around it. Maybe I could kill her and just dispose of the body. Yeah... but where?_

"Hey. Where would be a good place to stash a dead body?" Quinn asked as she rested her chin in her hand on the counter, looking sideways to a stunned, open mouthed diva who had stopped in mid lecture. She had been going on and on and on about the cruelty of animals in the dairy industry, bombarding Quinn with countless and mind-numbing facts about the ice cream they were feeding to their customers. "Somewhere that wouldn't be linked back to me." She clarified, standing up as straight as she could, flaunting the height difference she had over the obviously now uncomfortable brunette.

"And... what purpose would you have for such a location? If you don't mind me asking."

"I thought that was pretty clear in the question."

Rachel nodded slowly, trying discreetly to take a step backwards. "Perhaps it was. However, I have no knowledge of such a place."

Quinn took a step closer and smirked. "Then I guess you have some time to convince me that I shouldn't strangle you with your own vocal chords."

The diva composed herself quickly, raising her brow and looking at her hands as she nervously ran them over the counter top, taking a convenient step away. "You know, you don't at all strike me as the homicidal type. I believe this may just be an attempt to eliminate some stress that has by chance mounted and caused you to feel the need to intimidate someone in order to regain control in your mind."

"I may not be homicidal... yet. But you're pushing me there. You and your never ending, obnoxious, and repetition rants about animals and they're suffering."

"Well, it's something I happen to be passionate about." Rachel retorted, offended at Quinn's indifference.

"I'm sure you are but I just can't take another second of you rambling on incessantly about the poor treatment of animals when there are homeless people, hungry babies, children being abused, the crashing economy, war, and hate crimes going on. They're animals! These are people. Don't you think there are bigger issues going on in the world that could use your attention? What the fuck is wrong with you?" By the time that Quinn was done with her blow up she hadn't realized that she had once again invaded the girl's personal space, nearly backing her up against the wall. She also didn't realize that said girl had the smallest hint of tears in her eyes. The blonde growled lightly in frustration. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"You're crying. You're standing right in front of me. I can clearly see the tears in your eyes."

"And yet you have no sympathy." The diva mumbled, the tears instantly drying before they had the chance to fall. She was tired of being the victim. "What is wrong with you? You sit in your mansion at home, eating your oversized meals with real silver utensils. No, I'm mistaken. You don't do that. You're too concerned about putting on two ounces of weight and probably throw away a meal that would feed a dozen of those hungry babies you were talking about without even batting an eye." Quinn stood in silence, unsure of how to even respond to this unexpected verbal attack. Rachel's confidence grew in her silence and the diva straightened her posture. "You don't care. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You are nothing but a cold hearted, unfeeling bitch who makes herself feel better by bringing down everyone else. Don't try and make yourself seem so perfect and infallible. People might start confusing you with your dad."

Wrong nerve to strike. Quinn could handle a personal attack just fine, but comparing her to that man was the wrong thing to do. Rachel didn't know what was going on in the Fabray household any more than anyone else did and Quinn had tried desperatly to keep it that way. "You shut your mouth."

"No. If your such a bad ass who is so ready and willing to kill me for actually having beliefs of my own and speaking about them, then kill me. Hit me. Hell, even just push me." Quinn stood there, unable to move.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Maybe I'm sick of taking everyone's crap all the time." She had taken more than her fair share. The whole thing with Santana and Finn had already allowed her you push back a little. This was just an opportunity to do more.

"They why do you always give them something to tease you about. You know your clothes are horrible. I've told you enough times already. Fix it."

"Why should I have to? Maybe I like those clothes. Maybe I want to wear them. Why do you have to tell me so many times that you don't? Are they hurting you?"  
"My eyes, yes."

Rachel dropped her hands, feeling defeated already by the blonde's stubbornness. "I'm tired of taking your crap. From now on, if you dish it, expect to get it back."

Quinn scoffed and laughed in her face. "And what exactly can you tease me about?"

"You're not immune to insecurities."

"Then tease me about the baby weight and stretchmarks. It's nothing I haven't heard already. That's right, Berry. I get teased and picked on too. Welcome to life. It sucks."

"So why make it worse?"

"Because-" Quinn cut herself off and diverted her eyes to her hand she braced on the counter.

"Because it makes you feel better to make sure someone else feels worse?" Quinn didn't answer and started tapping her fingers to expel some of her building energy. "See, now I know exactly what button to hit to get my reaction out of you. You care about people, despite how much you want to ignore them. Tell me, does it bother you when you hurt people?"

"No." _Yes. _Rachel was hitting a little too close for comfort. It was as if the brunette could see right through every wall she was putting up and it made her feel stupid that she was even trying to maintain them, but she hated the feeling of being vulnerable even more.

"I don't believe you." Rachel pushed, taking a step closer as her confidence grew. "I think it bothers you a great deal but you ignore it."

"If it was something that bothered me so damn much, then why do I keep doing it?" Quinn asked smugly, trying to gain the upper hand of the argument.

Rachel met her hazel eyes and saw right through them again. "To feel protected. You say things and make threats to put up a front, hoping people will latch on to it or run away from it so they never see you for who you are. Nothing but a scared little girl too afraid to be herself because she's never had someone tell her it's okay."

Quinn didn't move. She just stood there, not giving anything away in her expression or body language. If she couldn't fight it, she wasn't going to feed it. Rachel shifted her weight and continued.

"That's where we are different more than any other way. I've been told it's okay to be me. I've been told it's okay and that out weighs all the times I've been told it's not. I know who I am and I'm not afraid to show it." Quinn tightened her bottom lip and Rachel noticed. The diva paused and huffed a laugh in realization. "I get it." She nodded her head. "It's not about the clothes or the excessive syllables that gets under your skin. You're jealous of me."

Quinn laughed out loud, turning to walk away but Rachel cut her off, running to stand in her way. "Move Midget."

"No. Admit it. You're jealous because I'm comfortable in my skin. You know that who you are deep down inside isn't the same person you show people and is accepted by people, but you're too afraid to show them anything else. I have the support that you want more than anything and you can't get it. That's why you hate me so much. Admit it."

"I'm not admitting anything to you. Now move." She tried to push the diva out of the way but Rachel wouldn't budge, pushing back even.

"Why wont you? Because you're scared? Because you find the slightest bit of power in not granting me what I'm asking for? Or because I'm wrong?"

"Because you're wrong."

"Then why are you so upset that you're trying this hard to leave?" Rachel asked as Quinn tried to push past her again before visibly contemplating jumping over the counter.

"Because you're freaking me out."

Rachel relaxed and stepped to the side, holding her arm out. "Then leave. Run away."

Quinn held her ground. "I'm not running away."

"So you're_ not_ running away from the crazy person?" Rachel asked, catching Quinn in her lie. "Why are you so defensive about not running away from someone who is freaking you out? Oh! Maybe it's because you're actually not wanting to run away because you feel that it will only prove my point that you are scared."

"I am this close to punching you, Stubbles." Quinn indicated nearly no space between her thumb and forefinger.

"Again, you're proving my point. Name calling and threats that you'll never follow through on."

The blonde took a sudden step closer, towering over the shorter girl. "How do you know they are empty threats?"

"Hit me." Rachel stated plainly. Her face was calm and knowing, Quinn's was full of anger.

"I would if I didn't think you would press charges."

"I won't and neither will you."

"I've hit Santana."

"You pulled her hair and sort of pushed her. She kicked your ass easily."

Quinn growled and pushed back on Rachel's shoulders, following until she shoved the brunette up against the wall. "A lot of damage can be done from just pushing." She stated as Rachel grabbed the back of her head when it bounced off of the tiled surface behind her.

"And a lot of damage could be spared if you weren't such a coward."

The two glared coldly at each other before Quinn took a step backwards. "Just stay away from me."

Rachel had pushed her a lot farther than she had anticipated, so she didn't push it any more. She knew that Quinn wouldn't hit her, but she didn't want the blonde to absolutely hate her, just respect her for once. Rachel spent the rest of the night silent, letting Quinn do all the thinking she needed to do on the far side of the shop. If things kept up at this rate, they were either going to be enemies for life, or respected for never backing down. Only time would tell.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Nice, long chapter here to make up for the last one. And as many of you pointed out, this is very different from BWYDT. I really wanted to do that because doing the prequel and the sequel (which will be done next) to such a fluffy story, I needed that something different to keep me going. Like I said before, if you're looking for something fluffy all the time, stick with the prequel or wait for the sequel. In case you didn't catch the memo, the prequel is now being posted on FF as well.**

**But for those of you who have sent me a lot of messages you missing_ some_ of the fluff, you should be happy to know this chapter is one of those 'one step forward' chapters. The next one is kind of a mixture. Then all hell breaks loose and we start back from square one. Again, this fic isn't going to be as long as BWYDT (which will never be outdone) but I'm not entirely sure how long it will actually go. Someone between 15 and my old standard of 25. Probably closer to 15.**

**Okay. That is far too much rambling. I'm just going to stick with my: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy! See you all on Monday. **

**~/~/~/~**

**Four weeks before Senior year begins:**

It was their third week working together. Spending eight hours a day, five nights a week with one another. That was a total of fifteen days or one hundred and twenty hours of just the two of them... alone... with little interference from their boss. That was more time than they ever had spent together in such closed confinements before and more longer than either of them could keep up the show of aggravation. Walls had been let down and civil conversations were starting to become a bit more common. In short, the pair had learned to co-exist. It wasn't always smooth, but it didn't border on homicidal either. The blow out from the previous week was never matched again. Quinn still managed to get her pokes in though, and while they became more rare, they still pissed Rachel off just as much. There was at least one decent sized fight every other day. This was looking like it was going to be one of those days.

"Okay, I wasn't going to, but now I must ask you _again_. Why do you do this? I know that you get some sick enjoyment out of teasing, but why tease _me_ so much? Why not someone else for a little while? You know, add some variety to your day." Rachel asked, putting a hand on her hip as the last customer walked out of the shop. Quinn had made some snide remark about Rachel's training not being complete yet. And while it sounded like a proper excuse to the customers, to Rachel who knew that she had been doing just fine, it was a dig at the tiniest mistake she could make.

Quinn was leaning over the counter, unimpressed by the angered question. They had been over this countless times and she had almost run out of new ways to try and explain it. She silently wondered if the expression 'slapping some sense' into someone actually worked. "Because you give so much to tease about. You make it easy." Rachel clinched her jaw and the blonde stood up to dominate in height and silently put Rachel back in her place. "But if I may, you have made it a little bit harder now that you stopped wearing so much makeup that I confused you with a midget drag queen." That brunette's jaw dropped and Quinn dropped her brow. "What? That was actually a compliment."

"A midget drag queen?"

"I said that I _no longer_ confused you with a midget drag queen. Where do you think we got the nick names of Man Hands and Treasure Trail? I swear, you use to wear such massive amounts of make up that it really wasn't that difficult to understand where the confusion came from."

"And yet you still insist on calling me those names."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and returned to leaning over the counter. "Force of habit."

"Well how about you try my name for once."

"I've called you by your name plenty of times."

"Well do it more often."

"Yes Ma'am." Quinn stood up straight and saluted to the fuming diva.

Rachel was shaking at the blonde's indifference. "How about we just even the playing field then, Preggo?"

"I'm not pregnant anymore." Quinn reasoned with a smile on her face.

"No, you're not, but I don't wear drag queen makeup either, Tubbers."

The smile fell from the blonde's face with the addition of another nick name. "I get the picture."

"Are you sure? If not, maybe I can paint a better picture for you, Teen Mom Wannabe."

"I said I get it!" The two stared coldly at each other as they struggled to control their anger. Neither really wanted a repeat the massive blow out from last week. Quinn was the first to break the intense gaze and returned to her studying of the freckled counter top. "If you don't like being made fun of, why don't you do something to limit it."

"Again. Why should I have to?"

"Fine, then get use to taking shit because people aren't going to stop. You either attempt to _mildly_ conform, or deal with the consequences."

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"I never said I liked it. Maybe you were right last week. But that's just how it is. It's always been that way and always will be that way. I mean, it's not like I'm even telling you that you have to change who you are, how you think, or what you believe. People could probably deal with the rambling and the extreme narcissism if they didn't have to stare at those stupid animal sweaters. I mean, this is the longest you and I have ever talked and I'm pretty sure it's because I haven't had to fight the urge to set your clothes on fire. Why do you even dress like that?"

Rachel shrank in stature. Quinn wasn't being entirely condescending. She was actually holding this lecture as a normal conversation but it only proved to make Rachel feel worse about herself. She didn't mind the sweaters but really didn't like how people teased her for them either. She wouldn't be completely opposed to trying a different style of dress, she just didn't know what to wear. "I..." She started and then stopped, unsure of if she really wanted to get into this with Quinn, but who else did she have? "I've never had someone show me what to wear or how to do my makeup properly. I have had to figure out all of the more feminine things by myself or YouTube tutorials seeing as I grew up without a mother and only two gay, but still very male, fathers."

The blonde looked at her over her shoulder as Rachel looked down to the ground in shame. Quinn took a deep breath in and let it out quickly through her nose. She kind of knew what Rachel was going through. She had Judy again, but her mother was missing when she really needed her. Quinn didn't know anything about being pregnant or giving birth. She fumbled her way through it without her mother's guidance. And it was horrible feeling to not know what you were suppose to do while everyone stared at you, somehow expecting you to. The blonde closed her eyes tightly, preparing herself for her next words. "Look, I'm going to offer this once. If you annoy me or piss me off, that's it. Okay? But we're off tomorrow. Come with me to the mall and I'll help you pick out some new school clothes that aren't completely hideous. Yes or no?"

Rachel looked up at the unexpected offer and nodded her head just seconds before the delay caused Quinn to change her mind.

"Good. I'll be at your house at nine. I have a really bad feeling that this may take all day."

~/~/~/~

Quinn cursed herself for being such a softy. She may not present herself like one, but Rachel was right. She cared about people and that's why she found herself walking up to the Berry house on her day off. Rachel needed a feminine guide and the blonde couldn't help but think that maybe she had robbed her of what chance she had when she gave Beth to the brunette's birth mother. That left the job up to her now. And if she was really honest with herself, she was starting to get use to the diva. She had learn to ignore her in glee when she was trying to keep the peace, but now it was different. She didn't just see Rachel as the annoying loud mouth. She had positive traits too. Not that Quinn would ever admit them to anyone.

The blonde took in a deep breath and rang the door bell, half expecting Rachel to fling the door open before she even pushed the button. As the bell rang inside the house, Quinn suddenly wished she would have. She hadn't thought about having to meet the diva's dads before now. There was still a chance that Rachel would be the one to open the door though... Nope.

Mark opened the door and looked down at the blonde with a stern look on his face and Quinn felt her body heat rise in the awkwardness of it all. What the hell had she been thinking? "G-Good morning, Mr. Berry." She offered her hand in greeting like she had always been taught was appropriate when meeting someone new. "I'm Quinn Fabray. I'm here to pick up Rachel." She didn't know why but that sounded an awful lot like an introduction as if she was picking the girl up for their first date.

Judging by the light smile that the dark skinned man was trying to hide, it sounded like the same thing to him. He shook her hand any way. "She's not quite ready yet, why don't you come in and wait for her."

The blonde nodded and swallowed hard as she entered enemy territory. Well, Rachel wasn't the enemy anymore, but Quinn still was to the diva's dads. The blonde was almost positive that they knew everything about her seeing as Rachel couldn't keep her mouth shut.

The Berry house was an inviting place. It was much smaller than her own home, but the quaintness of it was much more comforting to her. Her house had dark, cold wooden plank walls, while Rachel's were painted in warm colors. While Quinn's parents spent a fortune on antique rugs, the carpet in the diva's house looked like ti would be as comfortable to lay on as a bed. The furniture too, unlike the rigid, regal style in the Fabray's home.

"You can have a seat." Mark stated, standing behind Quinn as she took in the scene of the living room that she had stopped it. "Knowing her it may take a while."

Quinn smiled lightly and took a seat on the couch while Mark sat in a chair next to it. "I actually would have thought she'd be perfectly on time."

He shrugged his shoulders with a light smile on his lips. "With her, it's either one or the other." They pair fell into silence and Quinn, for the life of her, could not get her head to stop nodding in response to his comment. "May I ask an honest question?" He asked leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "Your answer will be kept between us if you wish, but I just need to ask."

"Sure." She wasn't going to refuse anything he wanted while she was sitting in his house. She was just glad that both Berry men weren't home at the moment.

"Today. This... shopping day. It's legit, right? You are actually planning on helping her, not just leading her off to where you could have a group of friends ready to slushie her in surprise?"

Quinn felt ashamed. She knew that he was thinking it, she just wasn't expecting him to actually believe it enough to ask. "Today is shopping. Just shopping."

He nodded slowly and sat back again. "Just you and her? No one else is showing up 'unexpected'?"

"No one else is invited. It's the mall, so anyone could be there, but it's just me and her as far as I'm aware."

"Daddy." Rachel called as she walked down the stairs, knowing what he was asking the uncomfortable blonde. "I appreciate your concern, but-"

"But I'm your father. That's my job. So." He clapped his hands together and stood, allowing Quinn to stand as well. "Enjoy your day of shopping. And, Sweetheart, try not to bankrupt us. Okay?"

Quinn let out a breath she had been holding for a while once she heard the front door click shut behind them. "I'm sorry about that." Rachel stated, as she looked down sheepishly.

"No. It's fine. I was expecting it. I mean, I haven't exactly given you anything positive to say about me. It's my own doing really."

It was moments like this where Rachel was able to see who Quinn really was and gained more respect for the blonde. Quinn had always sent her mixed signals about what type of person she was. Even with the baby drama. Rachel respected her for going through with the pregnancy instead of taking the easy way out, knowing that it was only going to bring her shame and embarrassment, but she couldn't believe that the cheerleader had knowingly tried to convince Finn that it was his. She just didn't make any sense. One minute she was someone Rachel admired, and the next, someone the diva couldn't stand. She kind of wished she would just pick one and stick with it.

It was also moments like they one the were having in their first store where Rachel wished Quinn had been blessed with more patience.

"My goodness. How long does it take to put on a shirt and open the door?" The blonde complained as she waited out side of the dressing room while Rachel was busy straightening the shirt to perfection in the mirror. "Are you going to take this long with every shirt I give you because if you are, I might have to cut this day short so I don't..." She trailed off, trying to not threaten the girl. It wouldn't do any good and Rachel would probably just move slower to aggravate her.

Rachel rolled her eyes in response, knowing the blonde couldn't see her. When everything was set to perfection and Rachel didn't think there was a flaw left for the blonde to critique, she opened the door. Quinn pushed herself off of the wall and turned to study the smaller girl.

"Not bad. I like the shirt, just not with that skirt."

"I like the skirt." Rachel responded in a hushed voice.

"I like the skirt too." Quinn assured her, trying not to get frustrated. "Just not with that top. Try this top on with it instead." She shuffled through a stack of clothing she had grabbed while waiting for Rachel to change the first time. "Actually, you know what... you and I are getting to know each other this summer, so now we're really going to get to know each other." The blonde grabbed the clothes and pushed Rachel back into the dressing room, following her in.

"What are you doing? I'm not changing in front of you."

"Get over it. We've had gym class together for how many years now? It's not a big deal. You have boobs. So do I. The only difference is yours are actually bigger than mine." Rachel paused at the comment, mainly because she was shocked that Quinn had presented her with something that she could hold over the cheerleader's head, even if it was given to her gruffly. She may not have been as popular, or had the boys falling all over her like Quinn, but she had bigger boobs. It may have been a tiny victory, but it was a victory nonetheless. "Now, take that one off and put this one on. I'm not going to sit and wait twenty minutes out side the door when I can tell you if it looks good or not in ten seconds."

Rachel still felt uncertain but she took the shirt anyway. Apparently she gave enough pause for Quinn to scoff and roll her eyes before she turned around.

"Ten seconds and I'm turning back around. Ten. Nine. Eight." Realizing she was serious, the diva threw her shirt off and raced to put the other one on. Quinn smiled as she continued her countdown and diverted her eyes to the ground instead of the mirror on the wall in front of her that Rachel hadn't taken into consideration. She had thought about making a joke that she could still see her, but decided against it. Some people were really touchy about their bodies. Quinn knew that she was after giving birth and thought that Rachel, being a teenage girl, probably was as well. "One. Zero."

She turned around and surveyed the outfit. "Well?"

"I think we have our first purchase to make. Whip out Daddy's credit card because you actually look good." Rachel scoffed. "The clothes, okay? The clothes actually look good. Jeez. Now, Try on this skirt with this top," Quinn ordered, handing the brunette two new pieces of clothing. The two had come to an agreement that Rachel wouldn't purchase anything Quinn didn't like as long as she was allowed to wear skirts still. Quinn didn't mind but still teased the diva. If she had legs like Rachel's, she'd show them off too. "And I'll give you thirty seconds this time."

"Only thirty?"

Hazel eyes met chocolate in a challenge. "Just think of it as practice for a quick costume change on Broadway or something. Come on. Snap to it." She clapped her hands as she turned around. Rachel knew this was going to be a day to remember if nothing else.

Quinn started at one and got up to six before she heard the zipper of the diva's skirt being pulled down. The noise was like a trigger that set something off inside her and she felt this pull, pulling her attention towards the mirror. She closed her eyes tight and concentrated on the numbers she was calling out and keeping her voice steady. What was she doing? Why was her mind wanting her to look? She had never actually looked at Rachel in gym class, she was always busy talking with her friends. But now in such a close environment, her attention was being sucked in the brunette's direction.

Maybe she was just curious to see if Rachel really did have a penis like they always teased her about. But what about the boobs? Those full breasts that, despite Finn's complaints, were the perfect size for the petite girl's body. The right size for Quinn's hand- "What the fuck?"

"What?" Rachel asked in confusion.

Quinn's head snapped up when she realized she had said that out loud. "Nothing. Nothing. I just... noticed some gum stuck to the carpet and thought that was a pretty weird place to spit your gum out. You know... in a dressing room of all places."

Rachel stared at the back of the blonde's head with a dropped brow. "Yeah... I guess. But I'm done and you were on number forty-two. I thought you said I had thirty seconds."

"I was giving you extra time."

"Okay... Well... Are you going to turn around?"

Quinn rolled her eyes at herself and turned around, avoiding Rachel's concerned gaze. "Keep the skirt but we need a new top. That one doesn't fit your body right." Rachel dropped her eyes to the ground and Quinn took a deep breath to try and control her frustration with the girl's constant flare of insecurities. She had to remind herself that she was the cause of most of them. "Rachel, it's not because you have the wrong body type, just the wrong type for that shirt for it. Like... some women have broad shoulders so certain style of blouses just look a little funny on them. Everyone is limited in one way or another. Relax. You look great in that other one. There will be more like it." Rachel slowly brought her eyes up to the blonde and Quinn saw that she was looking for reassurance. "Don't push it."

~/~/~/~

"I'll help you carry everything in." Quinn stated as she shut her car off and removed her seat belt.

Rachel smiled and did the same. "Thank you." She was pretty sure that her fathers were going to ground her for as much money as she spent, but the day was completely worth it. The only real argument the two had was during shoe shopping. Rachel's affinity for penny loafers was just too much for the blonde to take and ended with Quinn throwing the ones that Rachel wore to the mall in the garbage. They ate lunch in the courtyard in silence to settle their tempers and afterward they were fine. It was like they had to recharge their batteries that were drained from the awkward stress.

Arguing with Rachel was different from arguing with anyone else. Normally Quinn controlled the argument unless it was with Santana. They battled, but Santana always made remarks that cut deep just because she could. Rachel pushed buttons but it was always to make a point and it was thinking about what point she was trying to make while maintaining her own argument that had Quinn so drained by the end of them.

"I really want to thank you for going with me today. It was a pleasant experience to have a girl's day'."

"It's not a problem. It was kind of nice to get out of the house that didn't require going to work or dragging my mother along with me. But I do think I suckered myself out of something to tease you about. No more animal sweaters." Quinn joked as she pulled out the last bags from her trunk and shut it. "I just might have to find something to replace it with. Like what the hell you did to your dad's car!" She set the bags down as soon as she had picked them back up to go over and look at the white Camry in the driveway. "Holy crap. You about took off the whole back panel."

"I did not!" Rachel argued as she began blushing. She had scratched it up and dented it pretty badly, but it was nothing like the blonde was making it out to be.

"Close enough. Now I have to know what had you so distracted."

The diva shook her head as Quinn returned to the bags and began the trek up to the house. "I'm never telling you that. That is a fact which I have not even disclosed to my fathers and will be taking to my grave."

"I'll get it out of you. I'll force feed you ice cream or something if you don't."

"I am no longer worried about your threats. I do believe they are empty."

"Oh do you?" Quinn asked in a challenge as she followed Rachel into her house.

"I do. You have yet to prove otherwise."

"Don't tempt me."

"Again. I can tempt you all you want, but you'd never do anything about it." Rachel stated, turning at the foot of the stairs to challenge the blonde face to face. Quinn smirked at the smug look on Rachel's face as they silently battled with their playful glares. It was only when they heard someone clear their throat that they broke their fixed gazes.

Both of Rachel's fathers were sitting on the couch in the living room, looking at the pair with amused smiles on their faces. Bryan, a short, pale, balding man pumped his glasses' frame with a knuckle and cleared his voice again. "I am sure that we are missing part of this entertaining conversation, or so I hope we are... But what is it that you are tempting your friend with that you think she wont ever do anything about?"

The was a mild sexual undertone to that section of the conversation. Rachel blushed slightly and panicked at the same time, knowing Quinn would probably feel a little uncomfortable with the joke implying that her and Rachel were intimately involved. "Nothing, Dad. We were just joking with each other."

"I wasn't." The blonde mumbled. "I _will_ find out."

"Well, if that's the case." He stood up and moved the drink he was holding in his right hand to his left, holding out the newly available one to greet Quinn properly. "I'm Bryan Berry. It's nice to meet you."

Quinn freed her hand of some of the bags and accepted the warm handshake, amazed that he was being so nice, knowing who she was. Both of the men had been nicer and more welcoming than she had ever anticipated. "Quinn Fabray. It's nice to meet you too."

"Well, you two look like you had fun today... and spent the entirety of one of my paychecks." Rachel mashed her lips between her teeth in guilt. "Anyway, would you like to stay for dinner?"

The blonde's eyes opened wide in shock. "Um... I..." Well, it was either this or left overs... again. No one needed to know she was here anyway. "Sure. If that's alright. I don't want to impose."

"Nonsense." He waved her off. "I'm asking, aren't I?"

Quinn nodded her head and then followed Rachel up stairs to her room. "Your dads are really nice. I was kind of expecting them to hate me."

Rachel winced slightly as she set her bags down on her four post bed and turned to look at Quinn who was taking in her surroundings. This was one place she had never expected to see in person. She had seen the yellow room and the diva's collection of typically girly, and meticulous place belongings on her MySpace videos, but it was different to see it in person. It didn't seem as... mock-able.

"They don't hate you, but I will be honest and say that while they are good natured and forgiving men, they also keep their opinions to themselves unless they are in need of being announced."

Quinn studied the suddenly nervous brunette as she added her bags to the bed. "So you're saying they hate me, but they'll keep that information to themselves."

"No. I'm saying they don't exactly trust you but they're willing to give you a chance."

The blonde nodded her head in acceptance. "So is this dinner going to be exceptionally awkward?"

"No. Relatively normally. They may ask a few questions that put a mild damper on the mood, but nothing significantly traumatizing."

Rachel had been right. Both men were 'well behaved' and only asked mild questions about the girls' interactions at school. They kept the conversation pinned primarily to glee club or work, so both girls could contribute on a neutral topic. Quinn figured that they were really looking to see how her and Rachel interacted now. She had set off to show them that they got along just fine and she wasn't completely a bitch, but felt unmotivated to prove it. She just held conversations with the diva like she had been all day, with mild teases that actually had both men laughing. They weren't vicious remarks, or meant to make her feel bad, just light laughs to ease the tension of the situation.

"So, Quinn, do you have to try out for the cheerleading squad again each year?" Mark asked as he reclined in his chair and took his glass of water in hand.

She shook her head. "No. If you're a returning member, you're in. Unless you gained twenty pounds over the summer and then Coach Sylvester might decide that your dedication to the squad's success is lacking and she'll remove you."

He nodded his head. "What made you decide to become a cheerleader?"

"Um... It was just kind of expected." He dropped his brow, looking for more of an explanation. "My mother was a cheerleader. My Aunt, my sister. My father was a start football player as are my cousins. I don't know. It was never verbally required, but it was just always known. If that makes any sense."

"It does. But you enjoy it, right?"

Quinn hesitated, knowing where this conversation could be headed. "Parts of it. But I think it's like anything else. You can't have good without some bad."

"Wisely put." Bryan raised his glass to her. "As long as you can deal with the bad."

"It's like with the entertainment industry." Rachel added, interrupting her fathers from even starting to push the topic. "It's a dream to be able to create and express yourself for the world to see, but it comes with down sides as well. Extreme loss of privacy. Expected, harsh criticisms. The inability to make everyone happy."

"But that comes with anything." Quinn argued. "No matter what you do, you're always going to disappoint someone."

"So why not just be yourself?" Rachel asked, driving the point home with an unwavering stare.

Quinn shook her head lightly and looked back down to her empty plate. She bit her bottom lip to keep from starting the fight they had last week at work about whether or not Quinn was too scared to do what she really wanted to do. So instead, she remained silent.

After the tension around the table grew to a smother level, Bryan clapped his hands together. "Well, how about we clear the table and then you can show us all the outfits we bought you." He suggested with a smile, pulling Rachel's eyes from Quinn. She nodded as Mark took their dirty plates.

"Actually, I should probably get home." The blonde stated, standing up with everyone else. Rachel's smile fell. Did she just screw everything up with her comment?

"Are you sure?" Mark asked as he returned to the table after putting the plates in the sink.

Quinn nodded her head. "I really should. But thank you so much for dinner. It was delicious."

"You are more than welcome." Bryan assured her. "It was nice to finally meet you. I hope that we will see you around here again."

The blonde's eyes flickered to Rachel's which were waiting on pins and needles for a response. "You say that now." She joked lightly, easing some of the returning tension and Rachel flashed a quick smile. As she saw the blonde to her car, she started to wonder when they had passed that awkward line between annoyances to something resembling friends.

"I want to thank you again for going with me today."

"And _again_, don't mention it." Quinn stated as she stood between her opened car door and the car itself. "Just remember you owe me something to tease you about."

"I thought that was my Daddy's car?"

"No. That only counts if I know exactly how it happened."

Rachel shook her head. "Never."

Quinn nodded hers. "One day."

"I stand by my answer."

"And I stand by my threat."

"Which I still believe to be empty."

The blonde just smirked and got into her car.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Warning a head of time... you aren't going to like Santana in this story. Sorry. I know a lot of you are fans of hers, but I really wanted to write a truly bitchy version of her. Then again... I might just turn her around in the end. I'm not sure. I could have so much fun with that one. I'll keep thinking about it. But for right now... she's kind of pushing the story forward.**

**In this chapter, Quinn surprises herself again... and again. She surprises Santana, Rachel, and her boss as well. Rachel debates letting her walls down, but struggles with one of Quinn's emotional defenses. While the blonde lets down some walls, she is content with ignoring one in particular. The pair also make an enemy and a possible ally. **

**I think that's a pretty good summary. And a reminder that while these first few chapters a jumping, giving just glimpses into their lives, the day-to-day story telling will happen once school starts. That's when we will really see into their lives and emotions and get a little bit of Quinn's back story.**

**Okay. So, thank you all very, very much for reading. I know it's a little strange not to update over the weekend. I'm not too sure I like having those days off after all. I feel... unporductive. Thank you to everyone who reviews as well. As the story gets going, I'm going to be looking to you for guidance to see if things get too moody or what else you're wanting to see.**

**~/~/~/~**

**Three weeks before Senior year begins:**

There had been a second outing between the girls that week after Judy had suggested that she and Quinn go shopping for her school clothes. The blonde, wanting to avoid the excessively doting woman quickly made up the story that she had already promised to go back with Rachel so the diva could pick out a few more outfits as well. While Rachel wasn't thrilled about being the scapegoat, she had to admit that it did make her smile that Quinn thought of using her instead of Santana or Brittany.

"Can I ask you something?" Rachel asked aloud as she sat across from the blonde in the food court. Quinn lifted her eyes with a faint warning in them to think carefully of what she was going to ask. "It can be a yes or no answer if you would prefer. But... Are you worried about being seen in public with me anymore?"

Quinn had been sitting sideways in her chair, surveying the passerby-ers, but now turned to face the diva, bringing a fry to her mouth to munch on while she teasingly thought about it, studying the brunette in the process. She realized that Rachel probably thought that her taking in their surroundings was Quinn hoping no one they knew was around, so she sized up the diva in playful deliberation. Rachel rolled her eyes and deflated in response. "What? Don't you want an accurate answer? I have to think about these things. There are multiple layers embarrassment and I need to decide which one this falls on."

"It shouldn't take that much concentration."

"Well, you don't wear those sweaters anymore, so that takes the worry down a level. You don't ramble as much as you use to, so that takes it down a level as well."

"Maybe you're just becoming accustom to hearing me and are therefore becoming more tolerant of my expansive vocabulary and proper use of such."

Quinn's playful nature suddenly shifted and her posture straightened. "Then that doubles my worry." Rachel's brow dropped and she even looked a little hurt so Quinn quickly slouched again. "Oh, come on. That was a joke. You were suppose to laugh. Besides, I think it's a mixture of both. I'm getting use to it because you're not doing it quite as much. It's a compromise."

The diva gasped. "Quinn Fabray compromised?"

"Hey. I can manage a compromise or two in a life time."

"Like when you offered Finn the opportunity to touch your breasts if he quit glee?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes and pointed a fry at the brunette. "See. I knew you were eavesdropping."

Rachel raised her brow and ran her finger down her drink in front of her. "I never denied it."

"Uh-huh." Quinn retorted, disbelieving.

Rachel loved this. It's like she was getting to see a side of Quinn that she was almost certain had never been seen by anyone else before. Someone playful, funny, yet still secretly caring. Quinn caught onto that thought by the look in the brunette's eyes and took a deep breath to try and lift her walls back up.

"You have yet to answer my question though. Are you still worried about being seen with me in public?"

"Clearly not that much seeing as I am here with you... again."

Rachel nodded her head and fought to keep her smile from growing too large and embarrassing herself. "And what about when school starts in a few weeks?"

This came with a more serious reaction from the blonde. She dropped her eyes to the food on the table in front of her and never lifted them again to Rachel. "I don't know." It was an honest answer but it still felt like a kick in the chest to Rachel. Quinn was still Quinn Fabray and had appearances to uphold. "I will at least say that I _probably_ wont call you Man Hands, or Stubbles, or Treasure Trail, or RuPual. I think I _might_ try 'Rachel' for a change." She said sitting back, hoping that would lighten the mood just a little. "We can see how that works out and go from there."

"I appreciate the effort."

"Eh. It's the least I could do." And really it was. They both knew it too. Sure they had gotten to know each other but they still weren't friends. They might talk about things a lot and go shopping and have lunch with each other, but that didn't make them friends. Did it? Even as Quinn watched as Rachel hung her head, trying not to look let down, the blonde felt something more than she use to.

She had finally admitted to herself that Rachel had been right. She didn't enjoy making people cry or stomping all over their feelings. It actually bothered her a great deal. That guilt was what normally made her act out even more. Their actions were making her feel bad. It was their fault then. But now things with Rachel were different. In stead of getting upset at the guilt she felt seeing Rachel in pain, all she really wanted to do was reach out and hug her. But Quinn Fabray does not hug, not when people are looking unless it's to state status of a relationship.

Quinn was about to open her mouth and say something to try and make it up to Rachel, but the brunette's phone beeped and pulled her attention away. She watched with concern as her brow creased and she looked crushed before quickly putting the phone away. "Who was it?"

Rachel looked up at her as if she had no idea what she was talking about.

"If... you don't mind me asking." The diva still didn't answer. She wanted to and she looked like she wanted to, but the words just never came out of her mouth. Instead she hesitantly retrieved the phone and held it in her hands, further debating whether or not to show her. Seeing the reluctance, Quinn held out her hand to make the next move and Rachel accepted, handing her the phone.

Quinn sat back in her chair and flipped through the menu to get to the messages and saw the incoming text from a number without an ID name. But she knew that number. She pulled out her own phone to verify that it was in fact Santana.

**Hows ur summer goin, Dwarf? Mines a blast. Just got done fuckin ur man... again.**

The blonde's head shot up to look at Rachel who instantly dropped her eyes again. Quinn could tell by the look on her face this wasn't the first text she had gotten. "How many has she sent you like this?" Quinn was pissed. Not because of any feelings... _friendly_ feelings she might have been holding for the diva, but just on principal. The diva hadn't done anything that justified this comment... not like she had done anything to justify anything that had happened to her. Well... most of what had happened to her.

"A few."

"I'll talk to her." The words came out of her mouth impulsively just as did Rachel's head in shock as the blonde's dropped down in confusion of what she had just done. She was offering to stand up for Rachel.

"I would appreciate it. However, I fear that it would only cause issues for you as well."

The blonde shrugged her shoulders, cutting off anything else Rachel was going to say. "The thing with Santana is this: if she wants to harass you, she will. And she always wants to harass you. No one is off limits. Even I get my share."

~/~/~/~

Rachel hadn't heard from Quinn the next day but she also didn't get any threatening texts from Santana about running and telling Quinn on her. Hopefully that wasn't because Quinn caved and gave into the other Cheerio and spent all day bashing her instead. Things were actually looking good between her and Quinn. Shockingly, the blonde was the closest thing she had ever had to an actual friend that wasn't Finn. Kurt kind of fit in that category, but they were too much in competition with each other to ever get really close.

But just when things were starting to look up between Rachel and Quinn and the diva began hoping for more, the worst possible thing walked through the ice cream shop door.

"Hey, Midget. I almost didn't recognize you without your normal layers of argyle on. Nice uniform." Santana smirked as she walked in with a cocky strut. Actually, the black pants and red polo weren't the worst thing she could have been wearing.

Rachel was a little thankful that Quinn was running late. Just in case she_ had _caved or was on the verge of reverting back to her old ways. Even just a few seconds with the Latina in the room could easily undo all of the progress they had made. She shook the thought out of her mind and smiled lightly, determined to remain professional. "How can I help you, Santana?"

"Besides falling into a six foot hole and being buried alive? I don't know. Let me get back to you on that one." Rachel watched as the taller brunette cased the ice cream, knowing that she probably wasn't going to buy anything ans was only there just to harass her. She surely wouldn't eat that many calories with school just around the corner. "I hear you were working here. I'm just surprised that I didn't hear it from my girl."

Her girl? The one that she harassed as much as Quinn harassed her? The one that she called a slut and cracked hurtful jokes about her daughter? Rachel stayed quiet.

"How long have the two of you been working together? I would have at least thought she would have called me up to complain about you once or twice... a day."

"Maybe she's not as much of 'your girl' as you think she is."

Santana stopped in her tracks and looked up to Rachel with a look that only spelled trouble. "What's that one?" She asked pointing to a tub of ice cream.

"Reese's Peanut Butter Cup."

"I'll take two scoops." Rachel hesitantly did as she was requested, suddenly thinking Quinn would be a nice addition to have right now. The blonde was much easier to read than the cunning Latina. Rachel handed the scoop the the other brunette and moved down to the register. "Now I would like to see your manager."

"Why?"

"Because I would." She snapped coldly. "Now go get him, Dwarf. Go on. Fetch."

Rachel rolled her eyes and retreated back through the double doors and returned with Mr. Mathews, straightening his tie as he approached. "Yes?"

"Did you hire this idiot?" Santana asked bluntly, shocking the man out of an intelligent response. "She has served me this ice cream cone. Do you know what this flavor is?"

He fumbled and looked to Rachel to answer for him. "It's Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Just what you ordered. Two Scoops."

"And why would I order that when I'm allergic to peanuts?" She asked with a sneer before turning back to the manager. "Your employee's stupidity could have killed me. If I hadn't been paying attention, I would be on my way to the hospital right now. If you ever wish to have me as a customer again, as well as any of my friends, family, and half of McKinley High School, then I suggest you do something to assure me that this will never happen again."

Rachel couldn't help but smile as the real head bitch's plan laid out before her. She didn't even look her boss in the eye when he made a showing of not only scolding her, but firing her. Well, eventually firing her. She had to stay until Quinn showed up, then she was fired. Santana held out her hand with the cone for her to take it back, pleased with the manager's handling of the situation. The diva bit her bottom lip and took the ice cream, throwing it away immediately to prevent herself from shoving it in Santana's face.

"Bye, bye, Berry. See you at school. Oh!" She stopped at the door. "Tell Quinn I said for her to call me. We have some catching up to do."

~/~/~/~

As Rachel watched the minute hand slowly tick by, she grew more and more upset. Then after thirty minutes went by, she gave up and was just defeated. Quinn was right. It didn't matter what she did, people were always going to pick on her. She might as well just accept that this was one of those time where they won and she lost.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late. I wasn't expecting my car to not start and then it took my mother _forever_ to get home. I think it would have been quicker if I just walked." Quinn apologized as she rushed into the shop. "Everything okay? No problems with the cash register?"

Rachel untied her apron and pulled it over her head. "Nope. No problems with the cash register."

The blonde watched, dumbfounded, as Rachel set the balled up apron on the counter and walked towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Home. I've been fired. I'll see you at school. Oh. And Santana said to call her."

"Santana? Hold on." Quinn waved her hand in the air, finally setting down her bag and running to stop Rachel from walking out the door. "Why were you fired? When did this happen? And when was Santana here?"

"About thirty minutes ago. Santana came in looking for you and ordered some ice cream. After I served it to her she had me fired for giving her a flavor with peanut butter in it, regardless of the fact that that was what she asked for."

"And what's the big deal about peanut butter?"

"She's apparently allergic to peanuts."

"Like hell she is." Quinn spit back rather loudly. "That girl's secret addiction is Snicker's candy bars. I _guarantee _you she has one stashed in the glove compartment of her car. She said she was allergic and that you gave her the wrong order just to get you fired?" Rachel nodded her head, lacking the energy to do anything more. "Look, sit down. Don't leave until I get back."

"Quinn, I really just don't feel like being here anymore."

"Sit." She demanded, pointing to the near by chair. Rachel reluctantly sat, knowing the next step was Quinn throwing her down into it. "And if you leave, I will kick your ass."

"No you wont."

Quinn bent down so her face was right in Rachel's, pulling Rachel out of her depression in surprise. Her heart even jumped into her chest oddly enough. "Do you really want to find out?" The brunette shook her head, still feeling a little strange being that close to the blonde's face, smelling her perfume, feeling the heat off of her body in the cold shop, seeing the golden flecks in her eyes... "Good. Then stay put. I'll be right back."

Quinn walked quickly, throwing the double doors open dramatically before marching right to her boss' office while Rachel sat dumbfounded where she left her. "I need to talk to you." The blonde stated with her hands on her hips.

"I can't get you any more help for this week. Everyone's out of town." He stated in anticipation of her question, not even looking at her.

"That's not what I want to talk to you about."

He looked up from his computer and then leaned back in his chair. "Then what is this about?"

"About firing Rachel."

"She served a customer an ice cream that she-"

"I know what you think she did. But I'm here to tell you what actually happened."

The man arched an over grown eyebrow at her and leaned forward on his elbows that he braced on his desk. "You weren't even here."

"No, but that 'customer' was my best friend. She wanted to get Rachel fired."

"And why would she want that?"

"Because she doesn't like her. They're enemies."

"More so than you and Rachel?" He asked mockingly, only pissing her off even more.

She nodded her head, unable to bring herself to actually say that she got along better with Rachel than someone else despite the fact that lately Rachel was closer to acting like her best friend than Santana. "Santana's not even allergic to peanuts. I should know, I've known her since we were in diapers. She asked for that flavor because that was the easiest way to force your hand and fire Rachel. Winning some sort of prize in her mind."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"Don't fire Rachel." Quinn stated plainly, not sure where the confusion was.

"I can't. Even if what she said was a lie, she'll cost me business. She's threatened to-"

"Talk to her family and friends?" He nodded. "I know them all too. It wont be a problem."

"It's still too much of a risk for me. Sorry."

Clearly he wasn't as he turned his attention back to the screen. "Then I quit. And seeing as everyone else is out of town, you'll have to work by yourself until closing all week. Enjoy." She turned around with a smile and began walking away. She wondered if she'd even get to the office door.

"Wait." Quinn paused and her smirk deepened. Nope. "Are you willing to risk your own job for her?" Hearing it put like that made Quinn wonder what the hell was going on her in mind, but she nodded her head anyway. This summer was not turning out like she was expecting. "Fine. But if this comes back to haunt me, it's your job."

Rachel was looking down at her feet, tapping them in boredom when Quinn appeared through the double doors with a smile firmly planted on her face. She grabbed the diva's balled up apron and threw it at her. "You're hired again."

Her head popped up as the apron fell into her lap. "What?"

"Just don't make me regret it, okay?"

~/~/~/~

"So the rumors are true." Puck announced as he strolled into the shop. "What's up Babe and... Babe? I'll take a scoop of every flavor in a pool, not a cone, and then you two wrestling in it... in bikinis."

"Did Santana send you?" Quinn asked with an arched eyebrow. The blonde had called the Latina and told her that if she didn't plan on running extra laps after each Cheerio's practice, to not show back up at the shop. As soon as she hung up the phone she had to convince herself that she was doing this because she didn't like any of her other co-workers and would rather work with the diva. She could boss Rachel around.

Puck shrugged his shoulders with a playful smile. "Maybe she did, maybe she didn't."

"And if she did?"

"Then I tell her what she wants to hear whether it happened or not. So, are you two best friends now or something?" He leaned on folded arms against the counter.

Quinn turned her head to look at Rachel who only mashed her lips between her teeth in the awkward silence. "Best friends? No. Managing to tolerate each other's existence to a degree were civil conversation is able to take place more often than not?... yes."

Puck pulled his head back and looked at the blonde with disgust on his face. "You are starting to sound like her." Quinn's smile fell.

"She sounds intelligent?" Rachel asked, pulling the attention away from the blonde who was beginning to sink back into her stereotypical facade. "I believe that Quinn would rather sound intelligent than the contrary."

"Whatever. Anyway, I'm planning a party on the last weekend of summer before school starts back up. Everyone who is anyone is going to be there. You coming?" He asked Quinn as he wiggled his eyebrows.

She shrugged and looked away. "I don't know. Probably not. I might find something to do with my 'new best friend' instead."

"What if _she's_ going though?" Puck asked, sliding down the counter to stand in front of Rachel. "Are you?"

The diva's eyes shifted between Puck and Quinn, unsure of how to respond. "I didn't know I was invited. I never have been before."

"I said everyone who is anyone. And you're my hot Jew counterpart. Now, you're also tolerated by one of the two girls who despised you the most. That has to mean that you're someone."

Rachel wasn't too sure if that was actually a compliment or not. "Are you going?" She asked, looking to Quinn.

"Are you?"

"Only if you are. Could you imagine me showing up by myself? There would be beer baths around every corner." She chose to leave out the part about her fathers not letting her go unless it was with someone they trusted. She didn't want to come off like a dork, or embarrass the blonde into changing her mind.

"Am I your bodyguard now or something? Because you're not paying me."

"Your popularity is a pretty good buffer in cases such as this."

"Come on, Ladies. I need an answer." Puck encouraged, calling for it with his hands.

"Fine." Quinn answered with one more look at the diva. "But if you try anything, I will never go to another party you have. Understand?"

He stood up and clutched at his chest. "You're killing me, Babe." She arched an eyebrow. "Fine. Whatever."

"Now what did Santana send you here for?"

He pointed to Rachel. "To see if she was still here. Meaning that you," He pointed back to Quinn. "Are in for a shit storm when she finds out that she is. And also..." He tucked his hands into his jeans. "I need two scoops of the Snicker's ice cream she saw in here earlier. And you two can't spit in it."

"Gross." Rachel mumbled as Quinn went to retrieve the ice cream. "I'm not very fond of Santana, but I wouldn't even do that. Do you have any idea how unsanitary that is?"

The blonde smiled and looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "Do you have any idea how much saliva you share when you kiss someone?"

The diva gagged. "Why did you have to say that? Now every time I go to kiss someone, I'm going to imagine them, like, spitting in my mouth."

Puck scrunched his face. "Hurry up with that ice cream. This is getting me sex tonight and you two are completely killing the mood for me."

"Give me the money first." Quinn argued, holding the cone hostage until Rachel accepted the money and playfully held it up to the light to make sure it was real. The diva looked over her shoulder and nodded faintly to the blonde who then handed him the ice cream.

"You know..." He paused before he exited the shop. "I might get slapped for this later, but I kind of like you two as friends. You make her look cool," He said to Quinn, pointing at Rachel and then switched. "And you somehow pulled the stick out of her ass."

"Leave, Puckerman." They both ordered together.

"You two are quickly becoming my new fantasy."

"Out!"

"You're killing me." He teased as he pushed the door open by leaning against it and slipped out with Santana's ice cream in hand.

"Why are you and Santana even friends?" Rachel asked bluntly. "I didn't even think you two liked each other."

"Honestly, we don't. What's that saying? Keep your friends close but your enemies closer."

Rachel turned and leaned backwards against the counter opposite of the blonde. "But I thought I was your enemy." She said softly.

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wasn't use to talking this much to a single person. If she had to talk to someone, she spaced out the information between different people so no single person had all of it. But Rachel was different. There was just something about her that was non-threatening. She had caused the blonde a lot of stress in the past, but only because she did the right thing when Quinn hadn't wanted to, or was too scared to. "You weren't my enemy. You were, like... my venting post. I took my frustrations out on you." Rachel smiled broadly and Quinn felt suddenly uneasy. "What?"

"That statement was completely past tense."

Quinn rolled her eyes to distract from the slight blush that was appearing on her face for some reason. "Yeah, well... I can still tease you without being a bitch about it."

"True. But what about Santana?"

"That's pretty obvious. She's a threat to me. If anyone in the school holds power over me, it's her. Mainly because I know she wont spare my feelings. She will hit every nerve until you are screaming in pain for her to stop. Then she'll do it some more."

"Why is that?"

The blonde shrugged. "I don't know. She never volunteered the information and I, sadly, didn't care enough to ask. I've just kind of accepted that that is just the way she is. Out of everyone I have ever met, she is the most closed off. Even more than I am. I mean, you have managed to get me to talk a bit but I can guarantee you that no one, and I mean no one, is going to get Santana Lopez to open up unless she wants to."

Rachel nodded her head pensively.

"One more thing I will tell you about Santana, is she _does_ enjoy seeing you cry."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Short author's notes because I'm sleepy. That's also why this is being posted a little earlier than normal. Also... loose editing because I'm having issues focusing on it. I'm sorry. I keep reading the same sentences over and over again. I promise that … no. Never mind. Things in the story will start to settle in about two chapters, maybe some next chapter. I'm not too sure yet. You'll just have to read and find out. Just because something big happened, doesn't mean anything really changed... that will make more sense after you read this chapter and the next. I'm going to shut up now.**

**Thank you to everyone who reads. A special thank you to all of you who review. You are my motivation. Thank you and enjoy. See you again Friday.**

**~/~/~/~**

**Two weeks before Senior year begins:**

"Have you already picked out what outfit you are going to wear to Puck's party?" Quinn asked as she and Rachel slowly made their way to their cars after a long night of work.

The diva shook her head. "No. That's still a week away. I figured I could hash it out that night."

The blonde stopped abruptly, grabbing Rachel's arm to turn her around so they faced each other. "Oh, no, no, no. We need to pick this outfit out before and and I need to approve of it before you even attempt to step out into public. I mean, this is your debut."

"My debut?"

"Yeah. The new, improved Rachel Berry. If you're going to be seen in public with me, you have to look the part."

The brunette frowned slightly. "I know we are still rather new to this whole tolerance of each other, but do you even realize that you just insulted me by implying I am an embarrassment in my natural state?"

Quinn fought the urge to tell the smaller girl that she was an embarrassment in her natural state. "I'll work on the insensitivity. Just don't expect an over night fix. Anyway. I'm serious. You have a chance here to make one more first impression before graduation. You can't just wing it. I may have helped pick out your clothes at the mall, but they can still be messed up if worn incorrectly."

"And what are you wanting me to do about that exactly?"

"You? Nothing." Quinn stated curtly. "I'll pick out the outfit for you. Can I come over tonight?"

Rachel had to give pause for two reasons. One, because the Quinn asked for her permission for something. And two, because she was offering to show up at Rachel's house again. "Sure. My dads are out of town until tomorrow morning so there's no one to complain of the late hour. What about your mother?"

The blonde shrugged and pulled out her phone. She typed in a quick message. "Done."

The diva smiled her broad 'Rachel Berry' smile. "Great. Then follow me."

Quinn was losing her mind. She was sure of it. Not only was she acting friendly towards Rachel, not only was she helping the girl out, not only was she sitting in the brunette room at this very minute... comfortably, but she was staring at her again. It was like this magnet that fixed her eyes on the diva's perfect stomach as she pulled the next shirt down over her head. The worst part of it all, was Quinn already knew what outfit she wanted Rachel to wear, but she couldn't seem to stop herself from allowing the other girl from trying them all on anyway.

"What about this one?" Rachel asked, turning around and showcasing the outfit, the skirt lifting as she twirled.

Quinn swallowed hard and dropped her eyes to her fingers as she fiddled with Rachel's comforter on the bed. "I'm not too sure that one would work. You want to be hot and sexy without drawing all the guys' hands to your ass like flies to a bug zapper."

"So you think it's the skirt that needs to be changed?"

The blonde stared at the garment in question. The answer was no. She actually liked that skirt but at the same time... saying no would cause Rachel to take it off and- "The skirt's fine, but the low... the low neck line of the shirt with the short skirt is just too much skin... It will draw too much attention." _Like now_.

Rachel looked down at the shirt she was wearing, shrugged , and pulled it off. After spending nearly an hour with Quinn in the dressing room, she was no longer uncomfortable with her. Strangely enough, she was more comfortable with Quinn than anyone else she knew. "Which one then?" She asked, motioning to her closet.

The blonde cleared her throat and tried not to look at Rachel's chest as she walked by. Doing that allowed Rachel the opportunity to study her without being caught. The brunette had found herself doing that more and more often, especially when she was dealing with customers and gave them her perfect smile. She didn't know when her admiration for her 'friend' began, but she had been starting to notice it more often.

"This one." Quinn said, handing her a shirt over her shoulder, preventing herself from looking at the half naked brunette. Things were already too weird for her liking.

Rachel accepted the shirt and put it on. "So this is what you recommend?" She asked and Quinn turned around to look at her.

"That's the one."

"Alright. Social crisis adverted."

Quinn nodded quickly. "Good. Then my job is done. I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"You're leaving?"

The blonde stopped in the doorway and looked back to the brunette. "It's late."

"You could stay here for the evening. I wouldn't mind the company... with my fathers being out of town."

Quinn watched as Rachel fidgeted with her fingers and kept her eyes down. _That's sooo not a good idea. I don't know why exactly, but it's not. _"Um... rain check... maybe?"

The brunette couldn't help but smile at the answer she received. It wasn't a no. Quinn was still making progress towards a friendship and Rachel couldn't argue with that. "Sure. Maybe after the party?"

Quinn dropped her brow slightly. "Are you planning on drinking at the party and then coming home? I mean, your dads would kill you."

"I would have reservations about consuming any alcohol, especially coming home to my fathers."

"Well, you can't go to your first high school party without at least having one drink. And... I don't know... why don't you stay at my place afterward."

Rachel fumbled for her words. "Um... you don't think your mother would mind?"

The blonde shrugged. "She'll be oblivious unless you walk in the house stumbling and tripping over your own feet. So?"

"So... I guess it is a plan."

**~/~/~/~**

"I have some news. Tomorrow is our last day working together." Rachel stated as Quinn sent their latest customer on their way. The blonde looked at her in surprise with a dropped brow. "My dads are requiring me to have a week off before school starts so I can ready myself properly. I told them I didn't believe it to be necessary, but they are insistent."

"So I get you hired back last week, just so you can quit this week? I'm almost curious to ask what the point was."

Rachel straightened her posture significantly. "The point was that your actions solidified our newly formed base of friendship... or at least tolerance of one another."

Quinn would say it was the very basic foundation of a friendship, if she was to say it. But she wont. "Shhhh! That's not for the public to know about." Quinn teased in admission. That was how thing had become between them. The blonde would find ways to say what she wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to confess and Rachel was meant to interpret them for what they were. "But you're still going to Puck's party, right?"

"You're still wanting to be seen with me at a function inhabited by our fellow peers?"

"If you wear that outfit that I picked out for you and not any of your old clothes, then yeah. I wouldn't mind. Besides, it's Senior year and you need to enjoy at least one high school party and be accompanied by someone who isn't going to get you drunk and try and have sex with you."

Rachel blinked and pulled her head back at the honesty and reality of what she was about to experience. "I doubt that will be a problem." She confessed shyly.

Quinn leaned sideways against the counter and kicked her foot playfully. "Like I said, if you wear the outfit I picked out for you..." Rachel smiled at the implied meaning. Quinn was saying she would look 'fuckable'.

"Are you keeping the job once school starts?"

The blonde shook her head. "Nope. Just over the summer. Next week is my last week. This party is sort of a celebration of my escape. Mom doesn't want me to try and balance classes, glee, and cheerleading with a job. She said it's unrealistic."

"I would have to agree." Rachel stated, looking out of the windows to the parking lot to see if any customers were coming before hoping up on the counter top.

"So. Are you going to stop by at all next week to keep me company?"

"You're seeking _my_ company and not Santana's or Brittany's or... any one else?"

"What can I say, I'm not too sure if my day will be the same without your additional, unneeded syllables or still consistent ramblings about the dairy industry, or your guilt of temptation to see how that rainbow colored ice cream tastes."

"It's rainbow! Normally there is a single flavor to color ratio and with multiple colors of ice cream blended together like that, the taste has to be truly unique."

"It tastes like cotton candy. I've told you this."

"I know you have. I just don't believe it."

"Maybe it's just your gay pride showing through that has drawn you to it."

Rachel leaned over and looked at the ice cream in question. "I had never actually thought about that." She admitted, impressed that Quinn had. "Perhaps it is." Quinn's phone vibrated from it's place on the counter and she picked it up, read the text, sighed, and put it back down. "Who was that? If you don't mind me asking."

The blonde hesitated and let out a quick breath with her answer. "Santana."

"You don't seem too happy about that."

"Well, she can't harass you, so now she's harassing me."

Rachel took a second to soak in the new information. Santana Lopez wasn't 'allowed' to harass her, meaning Quinn forbid it, calling Rachel 'off limits'. The second thing she let soak in was that the blonde had sacrificed herself for her too. "What is she saying?"

Quinn smiled and laughed a little as she looked up with an arched eyebrow. "She's wanting to know if me and my girlfriend are having fun today."

"Your- wow. Real mature there."

"Yeah. I know." The shop fell into an awkward silence, each retreating to their personal memories of the last few weeks.

"Thank you."

Quinn moved to lean against the counter behind her, crossing her arms over her chest and biting the corner of her bottom lip as she looked at the brunette. "For what?"

"For being a friend. Even if you don't see me as one in return, you've behaved like one to me this summer. And I thank you."

"You're welcome. And it's not that I don't see you as... it's just... it's complicated."

Rachel nodded her head, but didn't accept the answer. She just knew she wasn't going to get a different one. Both she and Quinn knew that while the cheerleader was now the closest thing Rachel had ever had to a real friend, the diva was the same thing to Quinn. The blonde just couldn't admit it for fear of something Rachel couldn't really see. This was Quinn Fabray. All she needed was that cheerleading uniform and she ruled the school, even when she was in glee club. Rachel had changed her wardrobe to something more acceptable, but still there was this hesitance. All the brunette could hope for was a better start to their senior year so maybe Quinn didn't see her as such a liability.

She knew that under normal circumstances, if someone had seen her as too much of a risk to be friends with, she would have just written them off, but Quinn was different. While she wasn't able to say they were friends, she acted like it. She stood up to their boss for her. Took her shopping. Was allowing her to go to her first party where they would be seen together. Stood up to her '_best_ friend' for her. Was getting teased for her... She was doing too much good to just write her off for her hesitance. But Rachel still wanted to know why she couldn't just say that they were friends?

Quinn was struggling inside. She saw the same things Rachel did when it came to the way she was acting, even if it was mostly impulsive. But she still couldn't admit to a friendship because then it was real. Right now, her protection of the diva could be seen as pity actions, or penance for her past. But saying that they were friends was drawing a line she couldn't step back across. Then there would be no choice but to either endure any wrath that may come from the move, or hurt Rachel yet again, by abandoning her. This was the easiest way for both of them. An unspoken, unlabeled friendship that if anything, would be called 'tolerance'. It didn't make her happy, but she would settle for it.

Rachel wasn't wanting to settle for it though. So when they closed up for the evening and walked to their cars in the parking lot, she decided to lay it on think. "Quinn."

The blonde stopped, turned around with her brow raised, and took a few steps back to the brunette. "What's up?"

The diva shifted nervously on the balls of her feet. She had worked this conversation out in her mind, but it fled her now. "I just wanted to say-"

"Don't say thank you." Quinn cut her off. "You have said thank you so many times this summer and I haven't really done anything to deserve them."

"Yes you have. Maybe not in your eyes, but in mine you have. I know I'm not the easiest person in the world to get along with, especially for any length of time and more so when that time is spent in a restricted amount of space."

"This is true." Quinn nodded, motioning circles in the air with her hand. "Keep going."

Rachel rolled her eyes as the blonde stopped a comfortable distance in front of her. "I understand your need to maintain a certain image... a certain level of acceptance from our peers." The smile faded from the blonde's face and she dropped her eyes to the ground. "I understand that. I don't agree with it and wish you would reconsider it, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you can't. I still hope that you wont completely ignore what we have managed to build here over the summer once school starts. I would very much be interested in maintaining a friendship... I guess even if it is undefined."

Quinn mashed her lips between her teeth. She felt like shit and she wanted to tell Rachel that she felt like shit for it. She looked up and opened her mouth to speak, but her words weren't there. The look in Rachel's big brown eyes just about broke her heart. She could already see the pain she was going to cause by denying her the simplest thing as a friendship. Not even that. The title of friend. Her brain was bouncing around in her head, screaming that this was their last year, their last chance. And then she would never see half of these people again in her life. Was the most genuine friendship she's ever encountered worth giving up for them?

"If... If I say you're my friend... you're not going to make us one of those best friend kitty calenders are you?" Rachel held her breath and tried to keep her smile at bay as she waited for confirmation after she shook her head. Quinn laughed at the cuteness of the brunette. She was like a little kid who knew what was already wrapped as her birthday present. She was adorable. Quinn groaned at that strange thought and tried to play it off as if she was still contemplating her choice. "Then I guess..." She straightened up, trying to shake of her nervousness. "No plaid. Now argyle. No animal calendars. No Broadway in the car. No musicals for any potential movie nights. No forcing me to try vegan food. I need at least three nights a week without any phone calls. I need at least fifteen minutes at school by myself, classes don't count. And terms are subject to change. Take it or leave it."

If it was possible, Rachel smiled even wider. "Deal."

Before Quinn even knew it, the brunette's arms were around her neck and she was being strangled in the tightest hug she had ever received. After a few seconds of gentle swaying she realized Rachel wasn't ready to let go or was waiting for something. The blonde rolled her eyes when she figured out what it was and wrapped her arms around the diva, returning the hug. She let out a quick breath and felt a weight lift off her shoulders. She had made a decision that she had been trying to avoid and now she just felt free. Sure, the stress would come back the closer it got to school, but as long as things worked out with Rachel the way she thought they would at the party where she would debut the new Rachel Berry, everything might pan out just fine.

Rachel held her tight with her eyes screwed shut. She had tried not to get excited about this, knowing that it could come crashing down if Quinn changed her mind, but she couldn't help it and sank further into the embrace. She took in a slow breath and let it out as they stood there, neither pulling away from the comfort of the other's arms. There was a strange calmness to it. For two people who had only ever touched during confrontations. This was suppose to feel awkward, not welcoming. Not comforting or... right. Rachel felt herself slipping now, her smile falling as she took in the blonde's touch and then the smell of her hair.

The brunette's brain was screaming 'no' at her but her instincts took over. As they began to pull apart, the side of Rachel's face brushed along Quinn's, until the sides of their mouths grazed against each other. Without Rachel's permission, her body reacted, moving over slightly and pressing her lips against the blonde's before she could pull away. Her eyes suddenly widened in realization of what she had just done.

"What the hell was that?" Quinn asked bringing her hand to her mouth. She backed up a step and looked at Rachel with shock and horror plastered all over her face. Rachel knew she had just messed up.

The diva could feel her heart thudding rapidly in her chest. Her skin was burning and she started sweating as her ears registered a ramble of "I... uh... Quinn... I..." But never manged to get her mouth to form anything remotely close to an actual sentence. She was floundering in a sea of panic. She shifted her weight and played with her fingers while she swallowed audibly around the hard lump in her throat.

"You kissed me." Quinn stated in pure disbelief, barely above a whisper as she stared at the brunette with a dropped brow and unblinking gaze. "You just kissed me."

"Quinn, I'm sorry." Rachel apologized and took a step closer, but Quinn took a bigger one backwards, still holding her fingers to her mouth where the brief and regretful connection had been made.

"Don't." She ordered, lifting her other hand and raising a finger in protest. "Just... just stay there. I... I need to leave." She said, taking another few steps backwards towards her car.

Rachel found herself taking small, desperate steps towards her, holding out her hands, begging her to stay for just one more minute. "Please, let me just-" She knew she had messed up but she needed to know that things were going to be okay. "Quinn, I'm sorry." She needed to know that Quinn wasn't going to hate her for the rest of her life, that the blonde wasn't going to see her at school and turn around and walk away so she didn't have to be near her. Leaving her with a constant reminder that she had once again screwed everything up. She just needed the smallest sign that she hadn't just ruined everything they had built over the summer. "I'm sorry. Can I please just explain?" But she didn't find it.

Quinn shook her head, staring hard at the now tearing brunette before she turned and ran to her car. There wasn't even a second's worth of hesitation before the headlights came on and the car peeled out of the parking lot. Rachel stood, shaking as she cried and watched the blurred taillights disappear in front of her. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what she had hoped for, what she had been been so lost in thought with. This was the beginning of the heart break that she was going to have to relive ever day of her senior year that she had to share with the fleeing blonde.

~/~/~/~

When Rachel showed up at work the next day, Quinn was already there. The blonde was busying herself with the daily set up and cleaning the counters without meeting the diva's eyes. There was a simple "Hi" provided to which Rachel responded in turn, then debated with herself as to what to do.

The fact that Quinn had actually showed up to work after what she had done must have meant something. Either that, or the blonde just couldn't afford to miss a day of work. There was only one way to really find out. "Can we-"

"No."

There was her answer. Short and cold. Quinn wanted nothing to do with her. "Okay." Was all the answer Rachel could manage without hurt and pain being apparent in her voice. She dropped her bag behind the counter and moved to pull the chairs off the table and set them around each. "I'm sorry. Can I at least say I'm sorry?"

Quinn stopped her movements and took in a deep breath as she closed her eyes. She stayed there for a second and then returned to wiping the counters only to throw the wet rag down forcefully a moment later. The frustration had boiled over. "What the hell were you thinking? Why did you do that?"

Rachel stood wide eyed and shook her head. She was expecting Quinn to be disgusted with her, not angry. "I didn't really think about it. It just kind of happened."

"Those things don't just kind of happen. Breathing just kind of happens. Blinking just kind of happens. Day dreams just kind of happen. When you kiss someone, it's intentional."

"Why are you angry?"

"You kissed me!"

Rachel looked around, thankful their boss wasn't in today. "I know that. I'm asking why you're angry about it. I apologized, indicating that it wouldn't happen again. You should be repulsed or preaching at me for my actions, not angry with me."

Quinn stared at her for a second before tightening her bottom lip in frustration and returning to her cleaning. The brunette watched as the blonde started falling apart as she wiped the same spot over and over, cleaning up the tears that were now falling from her face.

"Quinn, I-" Rachel ducked as the wet rag flew at her head. She looked up in shock just in time to see the blonde disappear behind the back doors. What the hell just happened? Rachel stood there in stunned silence, trying to figure out what she had just experienced. Quinn had actually thrown something at her. Sure, it was just a wet rag, but Rachel had a feeling if it had been one of the heavy metal scoops, she still would have thrown it. Her mind was racing but couldn't latch on to a single thought. Should she stay? Should she follow? Did Quinn need to say something, or have someone just to listen? Did she need to quit her job and just disappear so the blonde could find normalcy again?

Rachel let her instincts lead her. She bent down and picked up the rag before she made her way behind the counter to continue preparing for opening, leaving Quinn to whatever she was dealing with.

It was over an hour before Quinn emerged from the back, not even looking at Rachel as she busied herself with whatever work she could find and then read a book afterward. Rachel left her alone, figuring that if she wanted to talk, she should. She also figured that that was the longest time period she had ever gone without talking to someone until a costumer came in. Once they paid and left, the small shop fell silent again. The two never spoke a word to one another and went home without even a goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: First note of business. For all you drama lovers, the step forward/step back will continue for the entire fic for the most part. Whether it's with Faberry or not... who knows. I will tell you that nothing will be completely settled between them for a while to come. But even then, there will always be drama under the fluff. I promise to give both sides what they want. (Which is odd seeing as you want opposite things...)**

**I don't want to give too much away in my author's notes so I will end them here. Thank you to everyone who reads, and especially those who review. Thank you and enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

**One week before Senior year begins:**

Quinn needed space, so in hopes of salvaging what was left of their newly formed friendship, Rachel gave it to her, allowing her the last week of work without the brunette showing up at the ice cream shop.

But now, Rachel didn't know what she was even thinking when she closed the door to her car and looked at Puck's house that was already in full party mode. All the windows were illuminated with clear views of dozens of underage party goers with drinks in hand as they awkwardly swayed back and forth to music that could probably be heard several blocks away. It amazed her that none of the neighbors had called the cops yet.

She straightened her top that Quinn had picked out for her and ran her already sweating palms over her skirt before she took a deep breath in and the first step towards the house. She scanned the crowd for anyone that she felt would be safe. Someone who she thought wouldn't throw their beers in her face at least. To her surprise, most of the faces she scanned were scanning her. The guys were glued to her legs while some of the girls sneered in what she just might mistake as jealousy. The attention was something that she had always wanted, but it made her feel incredibly small at the moment, like they were looking so closely that they could see all of her flaws glaring right back at them. No wonder Quinn was so particular about her appearance. With eyes on her like this all the time, she couldn't settle for anything less than perfection. If she was to have something be wrong, it was as if the whole world was going to see it.

Quinn was somewhere in the house, walking around mostly to avoid having to talk with anyone. She wasn't in the mood to socialize, to put that fake little smile on and act like she was happy being fawned over. She didn't even want to be there. But the only thing worse than being here, was being home. The blonde made her way to the kitchen and refilled her empty cup for the third time already. She knew getting drunk was a bad idea, but she couldn't seem to stop herself from pouring the bottle until the liquor was brimming. Her mind was a mess and it wasn't just the alcohol.

Quinn had always known what to say, what to do, what to think, how to act. Or had at least been told those things when she didn't. But ever since Rachel kissed her, she was just messed up. Part of her was repulsed, but part of her wasn't sure what the big deal was. It was just a little kiss that the brunette had even apologized for. Move on with it already. She knew her depressed reactions were only causing the issue to grow and become an actual problem. All she had to do was find Rachel and tell her that she didn't feel the same. That would be the end of it. She quickly downed her drink and nodded to herself. That's exactly what she was going to do. Maybe Rachel was even here tonight.

She shifted through the crowed, looking around for the pint size brunette, listening for any excessive laughter. That would be a sure sign that Rachel was there. Someone would probably start the night off with a beer bath instead of a slushie facial. She wondered how Rachel would explain that one to her dads now that their plans to stay at her place were obviously nixed. If Rachel wanted to be gay, Quinn didn't have an issue with it. But she surely wasn't going to be sharing a bed with the girl for a sleep over.

The blonde made her way through the small house and then circled back around to the kitchen to get another drink before she tried calling her at home. That's when she saw her. The diva was standing in the kitchen talking with Finn. She was wearing an outfit that Quinn had picked out for her and the blonde admired her taste. She had actually made Rachel Berry look good. It was a feat to be proud of for sure. Finn seemed to approve as well. He was giving her that stupid smirk of a smile and doing that light squinting thing with his eyes that made Quinn want to walk over and poke him in the eye to give him something to squint at. Quinn also found herself hoping Rachel would see through it all. He had been an ass to her far too many times, especially this summer with Santana. Rachel was forgiving, but Quinn hoped that she would put her foot down this time.

She continued to watch as Finn gently pushed a lock of Rachel's hair back behind her ear and ran his big thumb over her cheek. It was nauseating. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the pair and wanted nothing more than to walk over then and rip the diva away and talk some sense into her, but she couldn't. Rachel had kissed her.

"Hey, Babe."

Quinn turned around and slapped Puck's hand off of her ass. "Watch it." She warned with a raised index finger in the air.

He held up his hands and smiled at her. "My bad. I just couldn't help it. You have one of the finest asses I have ever seen. The only one that compares is Rachel's." Quinn rolled her eyes at the mention of her and pushed past him only to be stopped by a hand around her arm. That was probably a good thing because the alcohol was really starting to get to her now and she used it as support. "Look, I'm sorry. I know I get all douchey around you, but I can't help it." He smirked at her. "You're just every man's dream."

Quinn stood still and stared over his shoulder, watching as Finn lead Rachel out of the kitchen by the hand. His stupid smirk only growing larger. "Every man'sdream?" She echoed back absently.

"Yeah. You're every man's dream."

She moved her eyes back to Puck when Rachel disappeared through the door way. Every _man's_ dream. Puck's eyes widened in surprise as Quinn pressed her lips to his, wrapping her fingers behind his neck and deepening it. After the shock passed he smiled into the next series of kisses. Hell, if she was offering, he was going to take it. He fumbled to set his drink down on the counter somewhere behind him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, freeing his hands to roam up and down her sides and back. When she allowed him to cup her ass and even give it a bit of a squeeze, he pulled away from the kiss.

"My room?" He waited in anticipation for her answer. "I wont let you down this time." She didn't answer but she didn't back away either, so he took her by the hand and began leading her up the stairs. Her mind was racing again but the alcohol was making it even harder to focus. She kissed him back impulsively as he shut his bedroom door behind them and slowly guided her back to the bed. When her knees hit that mattress, she fell backwards but he was right there with her, moving his busy mouth to her neck.

She closed her eyes and tried to lose herself in the sensation. The warmth of his mouth as he trailed kisses over the most sensitive spots, and the firm hand that slowly made its way up her stomach under her shirt. He smiled at the moans that escaped her lips. She wanted this. She wanted to feel these things... just not from Puck.

"I can't." She said, rolling over and out from underneath him to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Babe-"

"No!"

He scoffed and knelt on the bed. "You got me all hot and bother, ready to go, and now you say no?" She didn't say anything, just turned her head so he could only see her back and not any part of her face. "Fine." He huffed in frustration before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

Quinn dropped her head into her hands as she tried to fight with her thoughts. What the fuck was wrong with her. She knew she didn't want Puck. Why did she even let him bring her up here. Why the hell did she even kiss him? Why was she even still at the party? She went to stand up to go home but she heard a faint voice call her name. When she turned her head, she saw a cautious Rachel standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry. I just... Puck was letting off some steam about... I just wanted to make sure you were okay and that he wasn't trying to take advantage of you when you told him that..." The blonde shook her head and then looked back down at her hands resting in her lap. "Okay." The diva hesitated just a second longer before entering the room and quietly shutting the door. She paused another second before taking slow steps towards the bed and silently sitting on the edge with Quinn, leaving a good distance between them. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Quinn saw the concern in her deep brown eyes. It was more concern than she had ever seen anyone give to her before. "No. I'm not sure."

"You can talk to me, you know." Rachel offered, fighting with herself not to apologize for kissing her again. She didn't need to bring it up. She needed to just let it die and be forgotten.

"I don't want to talk."

The brunette nodded. "We can just sit here then. If you don't mind my company..."

Quinn looked away and out of Puck's window, shaking her head. "I don't mind your company."

It took concentration on Rachel's behalf not to let out a sigh of relief. This was a sign that she hadn't completely screwed up the fragile friendship that she had formed with the popular blonde. They sat there for what seemed like hours, but according to the alarm clock on the night stand, was only ten minutes before Quinn looked back over to her.

Rachel met her eyes and waited for whatever it was she needed to say. She was set on waiting forever if she needed to and that relaxation caused her to take several seconds before she realized that Quinn's lips were now on hers. The blonde pulled away just enough so their lips were brushing and waited for the brunette to come back to reality, then she leaned in again. She was met with an eager mouth and brought her hand up to the side of Rachel's face, deepening the kiss more as she gently pushed forward, causing the diva to lay down on the bed.

Rachel's body was reacting in a million different ways. Her breath was being stolen from her lungs every time Quinn's soft and gentle lips touched hers. Her kisses were different from anything she had ever experienced. They weren't brutish, but rather sensual, tender. It was like the blonde was focused on the kisses, not what follow them. That may have been what it felt like to a degree, but as Quinn moved Rachel further onto the bed, hovering over her... Rachel was hit with a very different sensation. A sensation of raw desire. Her hands instinctively raised up to meet the blonde's sides as she rested her knees between Rachel's legs.

Quinn didn't know what she was doing. This was wrong. Why had she done it? Why was she still doing it? It was probably the addictive sweetness of the other girl's lips. That soft, plump bottom lip that just fit some perfectly between hers and kissed back with just the right amount of firmness. It was all she could do not to moan at each connection.

A gasp came from the diva as Quinn broke from her lips and trailed kisses down her jaw to her neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin in need. This was more than Rachel could have asked for and she wasn't going to stop the blonde to ask where it was coming from. Now it was a light whimper that fell from Rachel's lips as one of Quinn's hands slowly started moving up the out side of her leg, disappearing under her short skirt to massage her thigh with gentle squeezes. Rachel hooked her fingers in the blonde locks as Quinn nipped at her pulse spot and Rachel's hips involuntarily bucked up. She was so lost in what was going on that the only thing that snapped her out of it was when she felt Quinn hook her finger into the waist band of her panties and try to slid them off of her hip.

"Quinn, no." Rachel stated, placing her hand where Quinn's was under her skirt and trying to sit up.

The blonde removed her hand but pushed Rachel back down on the bed with a forceful kiss. "Isn't this what you want?" She panted between kisses. Rachel's response was cut off when the cheerleader slipped her hand between their bodies and cupped her mound through her underwear.

"Oh my God..." Rachel bit her lip as her hips moved in time with Quinn's nimble fingers. Yes, she wanted it, but not like this. Not with Quinn drunk. Not because the blonde was too scared to express her feelings sober. Rachel knew that Quinn may never accept whatever she was clearly feeling now without alcohol in her system, but she still didn't want this if that was what it was going to take. She found all the strength she could to reach between them and grab the blonde's wrist, stilling her motions. "I want more than just this."

Quinn's hazel eyes met hers and they studied each other, not sure of what they were seeing in them. The blonde removed her hand and rolled off the diva onto her back next to her. The room fell into silence as Rachel turned her head to look at Quinn as she studied the ceiling above them for several minutes. Slowly, she began shaking her head. "I can't. I can't give you what you want."

"Can't? Or wont?"

She growled in frustration and rolled off the bed. "This is your fault. I was going to give you a friendship." She accused, looking down at the brunette. "Why did you have to kiss me?"

Rachel sat up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed again. "I still don't know how you're expecting me to answer that. I kissed you because I like you. Just like you kissed me now because-"

"I'm not gay."

_What? _"What? I'm sorry, but your actions just a minute ago make that statement invalid." Quinn shook her head then pressed it between her hands as she paced back and forth in front of the brunette. "Yes. You kissed me. _You_ kissed_ me_. Then you tried to have sex with me."

"No." Quinn shook her head again in pure conviction of her answer. "No I did not."

"Yes, you did."

"That's what you wanted. Not me."

She was looking for someone to blame. She wouldn't have to deal with it if it wasn't her fault. Rachel saw that clearly now. "Quinn, I didn't come here to ask for this. I was here as a friend to listen to you if you needed to talk about something."

"I don't want to talk! You know what? I'm leaving. I'm not doing this with you."

"Not doing what exactly?" Rachel asked, running to stand against the door, holding it shut. "What is it that I'm doing to you? All I did was ask if you were okay, then sat down and said I was here if you needed to talk. What exactly is it I have done that has-"

Her words were cut off with a moan and Quinn's lips on hers again. These kisses were different. They were longer, filled with more desperation, as if the blonde was trying to tell her something that she just couldn't understand. She was saying that she wasn't gay, but here she was initiating things again. Rachel gave in and let Quinn do as she pleased, hoping that it would help her with whatever internal struggle she was going through. Quinn backed her up against the door, holding her hands to both sides of her face and crushing their mouths together. Breaths turned into desperate inhales between lip pinching caresses and even then, they were limited as Quinn's body was pressed so tightly against hers in need that Rachel could hardly breathe at all.

Her brow was furrowed and her hands fisted the sides of the blonde's shirt as she soaked in every second, every detail, every sensation, knowing that it was going to come to an end any second, and not how she hoped it would.

Quinn slowly pulled her lips away from Rachel's one last time, but held her face still. Their foreheads pressed together and their eyes remained screwed tightly shut, neither daring to look at the other. Quinn licked her lips, tasting the brunette's sweet lips on them still, and panted a few more breaths before she spoke in a soft whisper. "I hate you."

"No you don't." The response was impulsive and Rachel didn't even realize she had said anything until Quinn swallowed hard and shifted her weight between her feet, their foreheads still pressed together.

"Yes I do. I hate you."

Rachel's heart was pounding. Not just because of the intensity of what had just happened between them, but at just having Quinn this close to her. When she first started working with the blonde, she thought it was because she was on edge, unaccustomed to being near the cheerleader without something horrible happening. But now... now she knew it was just because it was Quinn. She didn't want to move, but she didn't know what to say to feel the void in the room, so she released Quinn's shirt from one of her hands and brought it up to the blonde's elbow. She was still holding the diva's neck from when she had kissed her the second time.

As soon as Rachel's finger's grazed her arm, Quinn inhaled quickly and roughly, her whole body shaking from the light contact but she didn't pull away. Rachel held it, not pushing for anymore and just waited. The blonde shuffled a step closer. The sides of their noses were pressed against each other, their lips brushing, sharing each other's breaths.

"Why do you have to do this to me?" Quinn's voice was a raw whisper that shook in her throat.

"Why do you have to do this to _me_?"

The blonde shook her head just slightly as her thumbs barely moved along the soft skin of Rachel's neck. "I'm not doing anything to you."

The brunette fisted her shirt tighter and slid her fingers a little high on her arm for more contact. "Yes you are. So much."

"What am I doing?" She asked as her hands barely started to slide down the diva's long neck. "What am I doing to you?"

Rachel had to fight to still her quivering breaths as the base of Quinn's palms grazed over her collarbone. "You... I... I can't think straight... because of you." Quinn swallowed hard again at the confession. "I find it difficult to... to breath... to speak..." Quinn closed her eyes as tight as she could in attempts to suppress the moan she felt rising in the back of her throat as the hand that was fisting her shirt brushed against her ribs. "You make me want you." Rachel finally stated, bringing her hand back over Quinn's ribs, having the blonde somehow step even closer into her as she did.

"You want me?"

"I want you." Rachel knew the real question was whether or not Quinn wanted her, but she wasn't going to push for the sake of progress. This was already too intense.

"Come home with me tonight." Rachel's eyes opened in surprise and were met by Quinn's as she pulled her face back slightly. Quinn was still drunk but there was some sort of focus in her eyes, hidden under a thick layer of fear and nerves. The diva nodded her head. She wasn't ready for anything serious, but she didn't want to push Quinn away by flat out rejecting her. They could talk about it if anything lead to that seriousness of nature.

"Now?" Quinn nodded her head and Rachel dropped her eyes in contemplation. "You're not driving. You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk. I'm buzzed. But okay." The blonde stated, backing up so Rachel could move away from the door. The brunette's mind was racing, trying to build some personal boundaries already, knowing they could very well be tested tonight, but she was struggling to find that line of things she was willing and wanting to do and what was too far. The fear that came with that realization vanished as Quinn took her hand and lead her down stairs, weaving through the crowd and out the front door. Nothing was said as the blonde let go of her hand and made her way to the passengers side, getting in as if she owned the car, and waited for Rachel.

The silence was only broken when Quinn corrected Rachel's driving direction. "But you live on the North side of town."

Quinn stared out the windshield and shook her head. "Not anymore. Mom got the house in the divorce, but couldn't afford the bills for it. So she sold it and used the profit for a down payment on a new place. We live in a little two bedroom on the East side of town now."

"When did you move there?" Rachel asked as she turned right instead of left.

"Beginning of the summer. She tried to make it work long enough that I wouldn't have to stress about the move during school, but couldn't do it anymore. Some things are still in boxes so... Sorry for the mess ahead of time."

Quinn's explanations were flat and without emotion, well her normal reserved, cautious emotions. If Rachel didn't know any better she would have sworn she was talking with a manic depressant, but she did know better. This was Quinn dealing with other emotions on top of slowly sobering up. "How much did you have to drink exactly?"

The blonde huffed a laugh. "I'm feeling it, but I know what I'm saying. I'm just... calmer." No kidding. She was a completely different person. Open. Honest. Direct. "Here it is." She was right. It was little. Definitely a step down from what the Fabray's were known for having. Rachel took it in while trying not to gawk at the unexpected change as Quinn opened the front door into a long hallway. "That's Mom's room there." She pointed to the door on the right. "Living room is on the left. Kitchen behind it."

"Quinnie? Is that you?"

Rachel froze as she heard footsteps approaching her and the woman's 'buzzed' daughter. "Yeah, Mom. Rachel's here too."

The older blonde woman emerged from her bedroom, already clad in her pajamas. Rachel tried to divert her eyes, giving a nod in greeting, as she expected a lecture to begin any minute. Judy looked at Quinn's reddened eyes and uncharacteristically slouched posture and sighed. The two blonde's held a silent conversation until Judy spoke up. "Well, make yourself at home, Rachel. If you two need anything, let me know."

"It's okay, Mom. Go to bed. You have to work in the morning."

"And we'll talk when I get back." The older woman warned as she retreated back into her bedroom.

"Are you going to get in a lot of trouble?" Rachel asked as she followed Quinn further back into the house, past the second bedroom. "And where are we going?"

"I'll get lectured a bit, but nothing major. And we're going to the basement. Being in a smaller house, I still feel the need to have my space. So this is my bedroom and Mom can do whatever she wants with the second room upstairs."

Quinn held the door open and let Rachel enter first. It was a typical basement, but with painted white walls and track lighting through out to lighten the space up a bit. Boxes lined the wall as she entered and the only thing that really seemed to have been set up in the room was Quinn's bed. "You haven't unpacked anything yet." She stated, turning around to look at Quinn who was still by the door she had just shut.

"I'm working on it... slowly. I just can't find the motivation to go through the memories." Rachel nodded and the large room fell silent as they stared at each other from a distance away. It was awkward to say the least. What was this? Who started it? Who was going to continue it? Should they continue it or just try and salvage their friendship? Quinn's eyes dropped to the ground and she bounced her hand at her side in uncertainty. "Let me get you something to sleep in. I have unpacked my clothes at least."

The blonde ventured over to the small chest of drawers that Rachel hadn't even noticed and pulled out a pair of red sweat pants and a gray McKinley High tee shirt.

"They might be a little baggy on you, but it gets a little cool down here at night." Quinn explained, slowly making her way to the brunette and handing them to her. "The bathroom is right there if you want to go ahead and change."

Rachel did as was suggested, thinking that this wasn't the time to push the envelope by changing in front of Quinn. When she emerged, the blonde was sitting at the foot of her bed with her head in her hands, already dressed in her pajamas. "Are you okay?"

Her head lifted up and she nodded, brushing the loose strands of hair back out of her face. "Yeah. I'm okay. Just... I don't know. Emotionally strained." That was probably the most direct and open answer Rachel had ever received from the cheerleader. Maybe she should get her buzzed more often. No, that wouldn't make her much better than Puck.

"I can understand that." The room fell silent again as they were both lost as to what to do next. "So..." Rachel was testing the waters, seeing where Quinn was at with their current situation.

The cheerleader lifted her hands, palms up. "So..."

She wanted to ask the blonde a million questions but feared the results. This was an opportunity to show Quinn what they could have, knowing that everyday was going to be a fight to get Quinn to admit and maintain even just a friendship, let alone anything else. So Rachel slowly walked over to her, standing in front of her, and waited. Quinn raised her eyes to the diva's, unsure of what to expect. The brunette hesitated again, unsure herself, before she leaned down and gently kissed Quinn's lips. She stayed there for several seconds in the light connection and with ever tick of the clock, her confidence grew.

She was surprised, then ecstatic, then scared when Quinn actually returned the kiss, pulling her closer as she did. Rachel knelt on the bed, one knee between Quinn's legs and the other on the side of her, until the blonde laid down backwards and Rachel fell on top of her. She knew where this could very easily go, but again that fear faded with the taste of her lips. Quinn was an amazing kisser and had Rachel pushing her own boundaries, bringing one of her hands that was propped on the mattress by the blonde's head to the pale skin of her neck, feeling the vibrations of her light moans.

Her finger tips glided back over her skin so her palm cupped Quinn's neck, pulling her deeper and deeper into each kiss. The cheerleader's hands weren't idle either, running the length of Rachel's legs from her knees up to her ass and the on further, her finger tips slowly lifting the fabric of the diva's shirt. As she reached her ribs, her hands trailed down to her front.

"Wait." Rachel said, sitting up and removing the blonde's hands before they reached their destination.

"I thought you... I mean, maybe not all the way but at least..."

"Yes. I do. Not all the... but this is okay. I just needed to make sure that we were on the same page about what could possibly happen this evening. I know we're kind of just feeling this out but I do feel the need to impose limits."

Quinn stared up at her for a while before sitting up and moving Rachel off of her and to the side. The blonde kept her back to her and dropped her head in her hands again. "We shouldn't be even doing this."

Rachel bit her bottom lip and scooted closer until she was pressed against Quinn's back, her chin grazing the back of her shoulder. "Yes we can. We're both obviously feeling the same."

"I don't know what I'm feeling, Rachel."

"...I do." The blonde lifted her head and turned it slightly, giving Rachel permission to continue. "You're scared. Suddenly unsure of what's right and wrong. You've been told this is wrong but everything about it feels right. You probably want this because you feel something more than you have before... and that fact scares you even more."

"How do you get in my head like that?" Quinn asked in a whisper as Rachel reached up and pulled a few loose blonde hairs behind her ear.

"I don't know. I just see how you work. You're not always great at hiding your emotions." She heard a little laugh but nothing in response. "We can always just go to sleep if you're still not comfortable. Maybe... we could just cuddle." Rachel could tell Quinn was fighting with herself over what she wanted to say and in the end just settled with a quick nod of her head. Baby steps.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: First things first... some of you are some serious horn dogs. This is Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray we are talking about the 'only two girls in school that wont put out'. And you want them to just jump each other the first night and have it be realistic? Tisk, tisk. Lol. Patience. You might be as 'frustrated' as they are when that time comes, but that will make it even more worth the wait. ;)**

**This chapter just kind of took off. I didn't really know where I was headed with it at the time I wrote it, but I also couldn't make myself erase it either so... yeah. I'm also having to pick up some extra days at work over the next few weeks. I will still update, they just may be a little bit shorter than normal.**

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I am thrilled that you had such a positive response to that last chapter. You'll find that the steps forward and backward are there, just simply smaller for now. But the angst will still be around, growing and waning in the future as well. Now we just get some more fluff in there too. Thank you and enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

Their cuddling lasted about two minutes before Quinn's lips found their way to Rachel's mouth and the blonde had slowly rolled the diva over on her back. God, Rachel was loving this. Each time they took a break for Quinn to debate morals between the first time she kissed Rachel to now, she was allowing the brunette to be more affectionate without fear of her pulling away. The problem with that was now that Rachel didn't have to worry about her actions, her hormones were overriding her mind. Even now as she fisted her hands in the light tresses and Quinn's hand was already under her shirt, resting just below her left breast, her mind was screaming that this was going too fast, but her body was moaning, asking for more instead as she arched her body upward slightly.

While Rachel was loving it, Quinn was hating the way the diva was making her feel, weak, shameful, dirty, immoral... alive... understood... supported... loved, not just desired.

"Quinn." Rachel whispered as she pushed on the blonde's shoulders lightly, separating their faces as she felt the first tear fall from the blonde's cheek to hers. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Quinn sniffed back and wiped her face quickly before she moved over and collapsed face down on the other side of the bed, looking away from the diva as the tears started to flow freely. "I don't know."

"You have to have some sort of idea." She stated, propping herself up on her elbows to catch her breath and looking over at the back of the blondes head. She wanted to be sympathetic and nurturing, but she had to get her body to calm down first.

"But I don't. That's my problem. Every time I start to get comfortable with one way of thinking, the other tells me I'm wrong, so I switch only to have it happen again." She sniffed away the last few tears and turned her head to look at Rachel. "How are you so okay with this?"

"Honestly? I'm not. I'm actually really scared about it all." Rachel confessed as she sat up indian style on the bed and looked down as she fiddled with her fingers. "I mean... I never really thought about this happening because I never considered you would feel even remotely similar. Now that I know you do, the reality of it all, I find, to be quiet intimidating. That is completely avoiding the fact that you are indeed a girl and I have never experienced something so... feminine or tender before. Tonight and my past experience differ greatly in their overall effect on me as well, and have left a little shaken on my once solid beliefs regarding my sexuality."

The blonde turned her head away and smiled lightly. She never would have imagined a moment where Rachel's rambling were actually comforting to her. "How long?"

"How long, what?"

"Have you had feelings for me?"

The diva paused and thought about it. "Well, I use to think it was simply a recent development. But now... I think I have always had some underlying feelings for you and just chose to see them as admiration or perhaps jealousy, both mixed with a little apprehension. And perhaps maybe this is why you insisted on using sexually degrading names when referring to me?"

Quinn wasn't too sure about that. Santana had actually come up with most of those names. "Maybe that was some of the motivation for the drawings in the bathroom..." The blonde offered instead.

Rachel smiled at the small stage of acceptance Quinn had just willingly committed. "You and I are in the same position. There may be some differences, of course, but we are still there together... just figuring this out."

There was a long moment of silence between them as Quinn stared off, lost in thought and Rachel watched over her. Quinn remembered talking with Kurt about how hard it was for him to come out. It had just been a random conversation they had fallen into when she was pregnant and really started to feel like an out cast. He was simply explaining his own struggle. He had said that his hiding and denial were reflexive, but part of him always pulled back to his own personal reality. The same was happening to Quinn. She wanted to just lay there and go to sleep, waking up to say it was all a mistake in the sober morning. But part of her wanted to roll over the other way and explore what this was with Rachel.

"What are you thinking about?" Quinn asked suddenly, not even looking back to the brunette.

"You."

The blonde's heart stopped. "Me?"

"Yes." Rachel was going through a similar struggle, wanting to curl up to the blonde and soak in her closeness, but also reminding herself that this was Quinn Fabray who could very well push her away and then call up half the senior class and tell them that Rachel tried to hit on her just to protect herself. Rachel needed to take the pressure off of her. "I know, personally and... socially, you are probably worried about this. But... I... I want to be there for you. To figure this out without having to... you know, put a label on it. Whatever it would take for you to truly think this through. I don't want you making your decisions based upon fear and uncertainty."

Quinn turned her head to look at the shorter girl with a dropped brow. "Did you just... like, offer to be my fuck buddy?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and blushed as she looked away at the blonde's crassness. "_No_. I was simply suggesting taking this last week of summer as time to experiment and search our emotions thoroughly, knowing that once the school year commences, those emotions will become blurred with the stresses of peer pressure and the desire to uphold one's social status. This is the most beneficial for you. I won't seek anything in return or try to force a label on our interactions until Sunday before school starts. At that time, I will voice my feelings, and allow you to make your decision. You would have one week to figure it out between now and then."

"Yeah... that's kind of a fuck buddy."

"Then let me be clear that certain boundaries will be put in place, of course. While I am sexually attracted to you on an elevated level, I will not engage in any sort of sexual intercourse, to include oral, before I have the promise of a long tern, committed relationship."

Quinn sat up in front of the brunette and looked at her curiously. "So, you're saying that I am free to explore what there could be between you and I, without you requiring me to date you... and all I have to do is decide by the time school starts, if I'm ready to say I'm... gay or not." Rachel nodded. "And I'm free to do anything with you that's not actual sex?" Rachel was a little hesitant but nodded her head. "So... I could, like, kiss you again, and that would be okay?"

"Yes." _Very._

"I could... you know... hold you tonight?" She seemed so shy asking the question but the brunette nodded her head, trying to hide her smile of adoration. The blonde dropped her eyes to the diva's lips and Rachel had to confess to a wave of arousal washing through her at the sight of lust she caused in the cheerleader's eyes. "And... what if I was curious about..." Rachel waited, unsure of what Quinn was getting at, but knowing she was embarrassed. "About what it would be like to touch you... or... like... see you."

The touching, Rachel was ready for. The seeing... she hadn't thought of that. She diverted her eyes as she silently contemplated. Slowly she shifted her hands to the bottom of the shirt she was wearing and began to lift it, watching Quinn's eyes darken as they followed her movements. She had never felt so exposed as she did when she dropped the tee shirt to the bed next to her, but witnessing Quinn's interest in her body made her feel... desired.

Quinn licked her lips unconsciously and then finally pulled her eyes away from Rachel's perfect breasts, meeting the diva's waiting gaze. "You're beautiful." Rachel's head pulled back slightly, not expecting the compliment. The shock only hit harder as the blonde leaned forward into a light kiss, taking Rachel's bottom lip gently between hers and pushing gently for her to lay back on the mattress. For someone who was in such denial, she was incredibly willing to make the first move.

"No sex." Rachel reminded her in a whisper between kisses.

"No sex." Quinn echoed. "Hands above the hips." She promised, placing a warm hand on Rachel's stomach, the muscles of which jumped under her touch. The blonde was losing herself already, trailing slow kisses down the brunette's jaw line to her neck and loving every fidgeting movement, every muted moan, and ragged breath she was causing as her hand inched steadily high.

Rachel's senses were all over the place as she turned her wide, uncertain eyes to the ceiling, only to have them snap shut in efforts to suppress her response to the pleasurable sensations she was experiencing. This was faster and further than she had ever moved and it was actually scaring her a little, but at the same time, she wanted it.

Quinn lifted up and propped herself on her elbow as she looked down to where her hand rested just under Rachel's left breast. She slid her thumb up to lightly graze the underside of the fleshy mound and then looked up to the diva's eyes for her response. Rachel swallowed hard and brought her right hand up to Quinn's face, cupping her cheek and running her thumb over her cheekbone. She was okay with this. Inexperienced and a little nervous, but okay.

"I've never done this either." Quinn stated, hoping that it ease Rachel's fears. The brunette gave her a quick smile and the blonde tried hard not to frown. This wasn't right. Not her and Rachel doing this, but just moving this quickly. Rachel might have thought that she was ready, selflessly so, but the blonde could tell that she wasn't. Not yet. She was just as confused about what was right and wrong as Quinn was. The diva was a little more confused when Quinn reached over her and grabbed the discarded shirt before draping it over her bare chest.

"W-what's wrong?"

Quinn smiled out of the side of her mouth before moving to lay down next to Rachel, her one arm draped over the brunette's waist still. "Nothing. I just want to go a little slower." Rachel furrowed her brow. "I mean, you gave me a whole week, right? What's the rush?" It was true. Doing anything more than kissing or cuddling tonight would just feel like she was molesting the girl, no matter how much Rachel said otherwise. They were barely friends, now exploring each other's bodies intimately?

"A-are you sure?" Rachel asked, moving the shirt to cover more of herself.

The blonde nodded with a faint smile, resting her head to the mattress by Rachel's shoulder. "Let's just stick with that cuddling you had suggested earlier."

~/~/~/~

When Quinn woke up, she was laying on her back, staring at her ceiling but noticed Rachel staring at her from her spot on the bed next to her. "Morning."

"Good morning." The brunette answered sheepishly. She was hesitant to start the morning off with any pressure on the blonde, but she wasn't exactly the most patient person in the world either. "So..."

The blonde took in a deep breath, knowing what Rachel was waiting for. Now that Quinn was 'sober', was it all a mistake? Had it just been the alcohol? "So... would your dads mind if you stayed over here all day?" She watched as Rachel started to smile, and tucked her chin to try and hide it as it grew to cover her face. Quinn was actually a bit surprised that the diva didn't wrestle her into a hug.

Rachel tried to lessen her smile as she propped herself up on her elbow and fiddled with the sheets between them. "I don't think they would mind, but what about your mother?"

"She's already at work, I'm sure. What time is it?"

"Eight."

"Oh my God. You slept in past 6 am?" The blonde teased and Rachel blushed. "You didn't, did you?"

"No. My body is use to waking up at that time. So I took a shower and everything in the mean time. I used some of your shampoo, I hope you don't mind." Quinn shook her head slowly, still not looking at Rachel. Things were different. It must have been the alcohol mixed with hormones last night that made it so easy for Quinn to say and do what she wanted without feeling so nervous. Right now, just having Rachel next to her made her feel funny. Then again, it felt more like what it should have last night, not being able to rush into things they weren't ready for but rather hold a conversation. "So, what are we going to do today?"

"Mmmm, I don't know." The blonde stated as she stretched. "How about breakfast first. Can you cook?"

Rachel laughed lightly at the little smile Quinn was giving her, hoping that she could so she didn't have to. "Yes. I'll cook for us."

"Sweet."

If nothing else, their breakfast experience was reassuring for Rachel. Despite the fact that neither of them spoke as she cooked, she could feel Quinn's eyes on her the whole time. The blonde was still interested, just more unsure of how to go about this week of exploring. Quinn sat at the little table in the kitchen where her and her mother never ate together and watched Rachel as she worked, almost studying her as if she was noticing the brunette for the first time. Then again, in many ways, she was. She watched Rachel's hands do their work, how her eyes followed what she was doing with an intense focus in them but still managed to somehow see everything, and that little smile she always seemed to have on her face.

"Are you going to stare at me all day?"

Quinn's eyes lifted from Rachel's mouth to where her eyes were, but she wasn't even looking at the blonde. The cheerleader's jaw dropped but she couldn't find any words. All she could do was eventually smile and blush. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm actually thankful that you are still showing interest. However, since you asked the question last night, I shall ask it now. How long have you been attracted to me?" Rachel kept her eyes on the food, not wanting Quinn to feel pressured in her response.

"I... I don't actually know. I kind of started to notice it when we went shopping the first time."

"The dressing room?" Rachel asked with a knowing smile. "It's ready by the way."

Quinn stood up and began walking towards the diva and the food, but forgot about the food half way there. This was their week. She couldn't just wait until she got comfortable around Rachel, so she stopped right next to the brunette, her arm resting under Rachel's, bare skin on bare skin. First contact. It might not seem like much, but it had both of them smiling.

Rachel knew that Quinn was gay. She knew that she was interested. There was no doubt about that. The whole point of this week was to try and get her comfortable enough with the idea of being gay, that hopefully she would be willing to at least consider a relationship in spite of what would most likely happen at school. She could only hope, because if not, this last year of school was going to be emotional torture, wanting something that she couldn't have dangling right in front of her.

The diva tilted her head slightly towards Quinn as she stood there, holding their contact with their arms. She wanted more and knew Quinn did too. They liked each other. If one had been a boy, there wouldn't be any question as to what they were going to be doing. They would be all over each other right now, not tip toeing around their feelings and desires. No one was even around to see them so what were they so scared of? Apparently the same thought passed through Quinn's mind when she grabbed Rachel's arm and turned her so they faced each other. And to continue the fluid movement, cupped her face with the other hand and pulled her into a deep kiss.

The brunette blushed as she let out and most erotic moan as their bodies pressed against each other, being pulled closer by hands on hips and lower backs. Their bodies were vibrating with excitement and need like neither of them had ever felt before.

"Fuck." Quinn whispered as she dropped her mouth to Rachel's neck, gently gliding her teeth over the tan skin.

Rachel's head rolled back at the sensation, giving her more access to do whatever she wanted. "What?"

"Nothing. I just... I don't know... needed to say it." Quinn tried to explain as she stepped forward until Rachel was leaning against the other counter and then moved her kisses back up to the diva's perfect lips. Quinn felt like she was trying to crawl out of her own skin to get at the other girl, needing more of everything. Fuck, she could have taken her right then, up against the kitchen counter if she had any less self control. Rachel wouldn't have really minded at this point either. Her body was aching for the blonde's touch, quivering as one of her thighs unknowingly slipped between her legs and was pressing against her, sending waves of pure pleasure through her body as Quinn went in deeper and more aggressively for each kiss.

The cheerleader seemed oblivious to what was going on and every time that Rachel tried to tell her, she was either cut off by Quinn's lips on hers, or a strangled moan as she worked closer and closer to her climax.

"Quinn." She finally managed to whisper as the girl in question, suckled her ear lobe.

"What?"

"Hold on. Just... just wait a second."

Quinn did as she was asked, panting against the diva's neck as her hands continued their own slow and sensual exploration of the other girls body while Rachel rested her head forward on her shoulder. "What's wrong?" The blonde asked out of concern as she stood up slightly, cradling Rachel in her arms, holding her like she wanted to last night, so close she could feel her heart beat.

Quinn could hear a faint laugh from the shorter girl. "Nothing's wrong, exactly."

"Then why..." She trailed off as Rachel tried to shift her weight back, away from Quinn's leg. "Oh.. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I-" Quinn panicked, trying to move away but Rachel hooked her hands under the blonde's arms to her shoulders.

"It's okay."

"But you said no sex and I was... you were.."

"That wasn't sex. It was just... something I wasn't ready for just yet. But the kisses, I'm ready for those." The brunette smiled up at her.

Quinn's confidence in her actions was shaken, so Rachel stood up on her toes and kissed her gently, letting her know that it was okay. To her relief, the blonde lightly kissed back before they slowly drifted apart. This was awkward, but progression nonetheless. "Breakfast?"

Rachel nodded. "Don't want it to get cold."

~/~/~/~

The rest of the day had been relatively uneventful, filled with movies and music, all while they tentatively explored with touching of feet, gentle grazes of fingers down each other's arms, and exchanging quick but subtle smiles. It was touch and go with moments of awkwardness followed by moments of comfort when they allowed themselves to forget about outside eyes and opinions, who they were in other's minds. Before Rachel left, they agreed to spend the next day at Rachel's house, if that is, Quinn wasn't grounded for her drinking. That was to be decided now as the younger blonde sat across from her mother at the kitchen table.

The pair just looked at each other, Judy studying her daughter as Quinn sat patiently, waiting for the first inevitable question of many regarding her behavior over the past week.

"What is wrong with you lately?" Judy asked finally, sliding her glass of ice water away from her hand. "You haven't been acting like yourself over the last week. You've been withdrawn, quiet, moody... Honey, are you getting depressed? Do you need to see someone?"

Quinn was actually tempted to say yes. Maybe they could help her figure things out, but then again, they would be reporting back to her mother, so she shook her head.

"Then will you at lest talk to me? I thought you said that you wouldn't drink again?"

"I know."

"Then why did you?"

Quinn shrugged and looked away but could tell her mother was still looking at her, silently begging for any information so she could help her daughter. This is where Quinn was torn. She didn't want to cause her mother anymore stress by worrying about her, and thought about just opening up and telling her everything so it was out on the table. But at the same time, she was still a little bitter about what the woman had done to her... or rather, _not_ done for her in the past. The guilt was too much for her though.

"I just wanted to forget..."

"Forget? About what?"

"I'm just... confused about a few things and I wanted to stop thinking about them for a while."

Judy leaned forward on her forearms and thought for a few seconds. "Is this about Rachel?" Quinn's eyes widened. "About her not being accepted by Santana? Is it causing problems?"

The younger blonde couldn't help but release a nervous laugh. "Um... It's kind of about that."

"Sweety, you can't let what other people think affect what you do. I know that may sound a little hypocritical coming from me, but I've seen how it wears on you." Judy stated with remorse in her voice. "I lived like that for so long and I regret it everyday. If Santana can't accept Rachel as you're friend, then maybe you shouldn't be friends with Santana."

"It's not exactly that easy, Mom."

"And why isn't it?"

Quinn looked at her in disbelief. "If I choose Rachel over Santana, I'm going to fall back down to the bottom of the social hierarchy?"

"But is popularity really all that matters?"

"It's not the popularity itself I'm worried about, but what it gets you: immunity. Without it, I'll be slushied every day. I'll be cast out, looked down on again. I'll be called names. Have my stuff thrown in the dumpster or flushed down the toilet."

"So, you're saying that if you want Rachel's friendship, you have to become Rachel? Why not the other way around? Hmm? You were saying a few weeks ago that the clothes you helped her pick out would raise her a notch in school. Why not try to finish that?"

Quinn had to stop and think about why she abandoned that plan in the first place. Oh! Maybe because it didn't involve the word 'queer' at the time. "It's not that easy." Before the persistent woman could speak again, Quinn continued. "Am I grounded or not?"

Judy closed her mouth and looked at her struggling daughter, knowing there was something more to it. Quinn wouldn't be this stressed out over a simple popularity crisis. On edge, maybe. But not this. "No. I don't want to ground you. I would just rather you talk to me instead of going out and drinking in the future. I don't want you to end up in a similar situation, Sweety."

"That's one thing you don't have to worry about. Trust me."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Bit of a filler chapter. Next one will be a bit more intense. Promise. In regards to the question of filling in the gap between where the show is now and when this fic takes place... I was trying not to give away too many spoilers on season two for those who haven't seen it yet. But I will add in a few more details that I will make up just to give a bit of back story. However, those details probably wont come into effect until school actually starts. Right now Quinn and Rachel are just dealing with themselves and each other. They don't have to really worry about anyone else.**

**So it is a little shorter but not too much. Starting Friday is when they will be a bit shorter. (hopefully not much more than this one). That should only go on for about a week though. Then I should get back to my long updates. I just hate leaving you all without anything.**

**Oh. I have not forgotten about the one step forward, two steps back. The drama is on its way, I just thought we could use a few exptended chapters with a bit less so it does all seem so overwhelming. We are also going to get more into what the girls' 'status' is as well. Still a slow progression though.**

**As always, thank you for reading and especially reviewing. Hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

This feeling was new to Quinn. This odd, nervousness as she approached Rachel's house. Things had changed, but in a weird kind of exciting way. Instead of weak smiles and casual nods in greeting, it was shy smirks and lowered eyes. She figured it was the mixture of sneakiness and hidden romance type things they were doing behind closed doors. But after she adjusted to the excitement of it, the feeling gave way to nerves and doubts. Was what she was doing with Rachel right? Not just morally, with the both being girls, but the fact that there was no relationship beyond their current friends with benefits status. She almost felt guilty knowing that there was a very real possibility that this would end in just a few days, but she just couldn't stop because it just felt so good.

Despite it's positive appeal, it actually made Quinn more uncomfortable around the diva's fathers. When Bryan let her in the house, she could hardly make eye contact with him. She was pretty sure he knew she was up to something he would disapprove of. He just probably had no clue that it was in regards to his daughter... sexually.

Quinn walked up the stairs to Rachel's room and peaked in the door, seeing Rachel standing in front of her vanity with her attention glued to some sheet music in her hand. That was another thing that had changed between them, the way Quinn saw her. It use to be that she was slightly annoyed even by the sight of the diva. As soon as she would open her mouth, it only got worse. Those two things kept Quinn from giving her any more attention than to tell her to shut up. Even when she looked at her, it was never really at her, just her direction. She had never seen those big expressive eyes like she did now or she would have never wanted the brunette to cry. It would have killed her. She had never seen how small and delicate Rachel actually was, almost needing to be held and protected. All she had ever noticed were the annoying things, never giving the positive a chance to shine through.

The blonde listened as Rachel hummed the song aloud and playfully moved her fingers with the notes she was hitting. "Already preparing for sectionals?" She asked and Rachel jumped, looking in the mirror to see Quinn and then clutching her chest as she rolled her eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Yes you did. Otherwise you would have been considerate and knocked on the door or cleared your throat or one of numerous, more subtle announcements of your presence."

Quinn shrugged. The rambling was still a little annoying but their time together at work had her almost use to it. "What song is it?"

"It's from Broadway." Rachel offered shyly, knowing that piece of information would kill Quinn's interest.

"So that means I've probably never heard of it."

"And it's a shame."

Again, she shrugged. It was a shame to Rachel, but a blessing in her own eyes. "So... what are we doing today?"

Rachel looked down as she ran her fingers along the top of her desk. "Perhaps you could help me decide on a few more contemporary pieces to add to my list pf proposals for Mr. Schuester."

Quinn thought about it for a second before nodding her head. Rachel smiled lightly and watched as Quinn entered the room completely and sat down at the head of Rachel's bed, kicking her shoes off to stretch her legs out comfortably over the duvet. The blonde was hoping to maybe start this day off with a bit more of a friendly routine to ease her guilt about their friends with benefits title. This was it wasn't as if she was using Rachel just to feel out her potential sexuality adjustment, but that they really were working on a friendship that just happened to dabble in the completely normal and widely accepted area of experimentation.

"Any suggestions off the top of your head?" Rachel asked, taking a seat on the foot of her bed. She was at the opposite end of the feelings. When she and Quinn were together, she only wanted that first kiss or first touch to happen, setting the pace for the day. It always seemed to get the awkwardness out of the way so they could behave more naturally around each other. But judging by the faint smirk on Quinn's face, she wasn't going to be doing it any time soon. The anticipation was killing her.

"Turn on the radio and pick one. I think we get a better reaction from the audience when it's something they have heard recently."

"The audience isn't judging our performance though."

"They feed our energy which effects our performance."

Rachel paused and looked at the smirking blonde. "Have you always been this argumentative?"

"Have you?"

The diva pursed her lips and fought her growing smile. Quinn had never struck her as the playful type, but maybe this was yet another part of the blonde's personality that she was finally getting comfortable enough with to let shine through. "You should show this side more often?"

She could instantly see Quinn's posture tense slightly and her hazel eyes shift around. "What side would you be referring to exactly?"

"You're more relaxed side. You just seem so much more comfortable and... happy."

The blonde gave pause at the statement. She really was more comfortable and happy, mainly because she didn't fear Rachel's judgment. Then the possibility of Rachel outing their... joint explorations popped into her head followed by a wave of fear and then a light laugh to herself. That was stupid. Outing Quinn would out herself. But the blonde wasn't ready to tell Rachel that she was the one causing Quinn to feel so comfortable. That was too much like a relationship type thing to say. "I'll see what I can do."

With a little tweak of Rachel's lips, Quinn was already struggling not to turn this day into a prolonged make out session, but those lips were just so perfect and kissable. "I have come to know that look quite well, Quinn Fabray." The diva teased with a little blush as she diverted her eyes to the space on the bed between them. "And I do not believe I have seen you give it to anyone else before."

"Maybe you just haven't seen me give it to someone else before." The blonde stated, staring at the same spot on the mattress between them.

Flirting was a step in the right direction at least, but Rachel still had to bit her bottom lip to keep from asking Quinn if she was in the tiniest bit comfortable with even just making the slightest most minute confirmation of her feelings. Sure, she had said that she found Rachel sexually appealing, but that didn't mean that she was at all interested in a relationship with her.

"You can't do that."

Rachel lifted her eyes to Quinn's in confusion. "Can't do what?"

"You can't bit your lip like that. It's too tempting."

Rachel saw her opening and took it, smiling slightly as she held Quinn's eyes and placed her bottom lips back between her teeth. She saw the blonde's eyes instantly darken with desire. "Come here."

"Bossy, are we?" Rachel asked as she crawled up the bed to where Quinn was sitting against her head board.

"Another thing we have in common." Quinn stated before leaning on her right arm and cupping the brunette's cheek with the left, kissing her firmly. Rachel remained on her hands and knees, allowing Quinn to set the pace once again. She knew that the only way the cheerleader would be comfortable with this was if she was in control and that surprisingly didn't bother her. She was just thankful that this opportunity was even available. "Are you... like... gay?" Quinn asked between kisses, sucking on Rachel's bottom lip at the end of her question.

"I... I don't know... bisexual at least."

"Bisexual... I could be bisexual." Quinn didn't realize she had said the last part aloud until she felt Rachel smile. Fearing any further conversation on her reflex confession that she wasn't mentally prepared for, she barked another order. "The door's still open."

She watched as Rachel hopped off the bed and secured her bedroom door after taking a quick peak down the hallway to make sure no one was coming or had been there. Being bisexual would be more socially acceptable, but that still didn't help with her conflicting religious beliefs.

"Have you told your dads?" Quinn asked, slowing Rachel's descent back onto the bed.

The brunette looked at her and lost that playful smile, knowing that they weren't going to jump back into those amazing kisses. "Um... no. I haven't. I didn't think that would be best with our current status. I don't believe they would approve."

"They would just think I was using you?"

Rachel paused. "Well, technically you kind of are."

Quinn knew this. Why did she even have to ask? Maybe because she wasn't using Rachel as much as she thought she was. "I thought we were using each other."

The brunette shrugged. "I'm fairly certain where my emotions lie. I like you. My only question left to answer was what were my relationships with my past boyfriends. I believe my feelings for them were genuine and am more than likely a bisexual because of that fact. What about you? With Finn, Noah, and Sam... did you have genuine romantic feelings for them?"

The blonde's mind instantly screamed 'no' at her, but she ignored it and nodded her head. "Of course. I mean, why else date someone?"

Rachel shrugged and diverted her eyes again. "For popularity's sake."

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?"_ I am that shallow_.

Rachel shook her head frantically, raising her hand in protest. "No! I just... it was a possibility. That's all. You asked a question and that was just one possible answer. There are others."

"Like what?" _Maybe one of those will be better._

"Fear of being alone."

_Yes._

"Needing to feel wanted."

_Yes._

"To keep up appearances."

_Yes._ "Wait, isn't that the same thing as maintaining popularity?"

Rachel shrugged. "Not really. The popularity is school and peer based, appearances are for the general population and family expectations." _Family. _Quinn had a moment where the weight seemed to be lifted off of her shoulders with that thought. At least she wouldn't have to tell her dad. She dropped her brow at the though. Tell him what? She hadn't made any decisions yet, but her mind seemed to have made them for her. "Are you okay?"

"What?" She asked, snapping her head up. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just... you know, thinking."

"Okay. Well, if you ever feel like sharing some of those thoughts... I don't mind listening and you have my word that your words will not go any further than me."

"So says the girl who told Finn about Puck being the father." Quinn teased, lightening the mood slightly.

"Well, to be completely fair, I never promised not to tell. I'm promising you now, however. You can trust me."

~/~/~/~

If Quinn's attention was being held by something, they were okay. But as soon as Rachel pulled out her stacks of Broadway sheet music, her attention was completely on the diva. Her eyes traced over the brunette's fingers as the shifted through the papers, then up the seemingly silky smooth skin of her arms, just begging Quinn to touch them. It wasn't much of a surprise when they ended up making out again.

Rachel had been rolled over on her back with Quinn propped up on her elbow, the other hand tracing faint designs on the sliver of exposed skin between her shirt and sexy as hell jeans as their tongues danced against one another'. Quinn made a mental note to give herself a pat on the back for talking Rachel into buying them... several pairs actually. "Don't wrinkle the papers." The brunette warned as Quinn shifted slightly and a crumpling of paper was heard.

"I'm not."

"You are." Rachel insisted, pushing the frustrated blonde back so she could turn her head and inspect the music. Quinn sighed as she waited for the diva to move the papers further away so they would be less likely to be damaged. "Don't get all pouty with me."

"I'm not pouty."

"You just sighed in a pout. That's called being pouty."

"And you're being anal. What's the big deal about a few wrinkles on some paper that no one is ever going to see but you?" Rachel glared at her for a second and Quinn knew she had said something wrong. "Let me reword that."

"Please do."

"If the grand picture of all the things that could go horribly wrong, what is the importance of a single copy of sheet music when you have several more just like it."

Rachel was actually impressed. She thought the blonde's reference was at the fact that no one else would even care enough to look at the music and that's why they wouldn't see it. "I guess I just saw it as a simple effort on our part to preserve all the copies."

"So... stopping our kissing was an easy effort for you to make?" Quinn asked, a little insulted because she actually had a really hard time ending their... moments when the time came.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she got comfortable on the bed again. "That's not what I meant."

"But you're not answering the question either."

This could very well be their first fight as a... whatever they are. "Do you want honesty?"

"Yes." _Maybe._

"It was easy, but only because I've been attempting to keep any sort of emotions out of things like this."

"Things like this? As in kissing? How can you keep emotions out of something as intimate as kissing?"

"I have to." Rachel stated shyly. "I'm the type of girl who gets emotionally involved at a very deep level very quickly. Knowing you and your tendency to allow other's opinions to influence your choices, I can't risk having my heart broken again."

Quinn pushed up, sitting up and looking at Rachel as she propped herself on her palms as well. "Then why are we even doing this? If you think I'm just going to break your heart or something?"

"For that small possibility that you wont. Quinn, you can't be mad at me for this. I'm protecting myself while letting you figure out who you actually are. If you want me to let my feelings flow than that would require you to make a choice."

"You said I didn't have to make a choice until Sunday."

"You don't." Rachel argued back. "I'm not asking you to make a choice now, but I _am_ trying to protect my heart until you do. What's wrong with you? Why are you angry about that?"

"I just... I can't do this if feelings aren't there."

"I do have feelings for you. I'm just trying not to let them get out of hand until I know that you return them."

Quinn was slightly relieved and slightly disappointed when Rachel didn't catch that she also meant that her feelings were already involved. She might not have been able to admit it out loud yet, but she knew that Rachel made her feel differently than anyone else ever had. "Fine. Whatever. I'm not mad about it anymore."

"You still seem pretty tense if you ask me."

_I didn't ask you. _"I'm fine." She deflated a little and let the sharpness leave her voice. "I'm fine. I understand. I guess... I don't know, I just thought we were kind of figuring this out together." She suddenly felt alone again, that she was struggling along by herself.

Rachel moved to her knees and walked her way up towards the head of the bed, stopping just in front of the blonde who refused to meet her eyes. "Quinn, in many ways we are still going through this together. Admitting something to yourself is different than admitting it to the world. But it's bound to be easier if you have some one next to you when you do."

Quinn brushed away a tear that was starting to fall. She knew what she needed to do, but it was scary as hell to do it, because once she did, there was no taking it back. "I like you... a lot... but I'm still not sure if I'm ready to admit it to the world."

The diva gave a faint smile but knew Quinn couldn't see it. She was okay with that for right now. She saw how much Quinn was struggling and couldn't bare to push her anymore than what she already had. Quinn liked her... was interested in her. They'd cross the next bridge when they got to it. Right now, they were friends with an understanding that emotions were there, but a relationship might be a ways off.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: First off... no editing at all. I'm sorry. I know a few of you have offered to beta for me, but when I don't get to finishing a chapter until it is time to post... that makes it a little difficult. I appreciate the offers but it's not practical with my current schedule. Maybe eventually. But until then... sorry to all of my readers who are put off by the occasional spelling/grammar issues. It also doesn't help when auto-correct corrects your errors with an error as well.**

**This chapter is... lots more of everything. More exploration. More conversation. More fear. More acceptance. More... yeah. I'm really tired at this point and can't think of anything else to say. If I have missed your questions, just ask again and I will try and answer them when I can keep my eyes open. (That's another reason why these chapters have been posted hours earlier than usual. Work is kicking my ass)**

**Thank you for everyone who reads and reviews. I am so, so, so, so glad that you are enjoying this. There will be those heart wrenching moments, but I still give you the fluff too. And just as a warning, when school starts for Quinn and Rachel, things aren't ideal. That's when the drama hits. Hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

The girl's passionate interactions before confessing their feelings was that of curiosity, doing what seemed right with their hidden emotions pushing boundaries softly. Kisses and occasional light nips on their necks, bodies pressing together but nothing more. The girl's passionate interactions after confessing their joint feelings were unchecked by fear.

After attempting to expand their proposal list for the glee club, they had found themselves in a new, compromising, yet enticing position. Rachel was sitting on top of her desk, hands wrapped in Quinn's hair and lightly grazing the skin of her neck, while the blonde was standing between Rachel's legs which were riding up her hips as her hands drifted underneath the back of the diva's tee shirt.

"Your dads do knock, right?" Quinn asked as she removed her kiss swollen lips from Rachel's and moved them to her neck as her hands drifted to the brunette's torso, running the backs of her fingers over the heated skin before returning them to the small of her back.

Rachel was loosing it. She and Finn had moments when she considered if she was ready or not to move to that next step in their relationship, but she never did. And her and Noah had been somewhat close but it just hadn't felt right. Right now though, all she could think of was what it would feel like for Quinn to touch her in her most intimate places... to be inside her. "They'll knock." She stated, pulling the blonde's hips closer by tightening her grip with her long legs.

Quinn grunted as she fell forward slightly, unable to keep her balance as the edge of the desk kept her legs in place as Rachel pulled her upper body closer. "Eager?" She teased as she lifted her left hand to Rachel's neck, her thumb turning her chin so she could have more access to tease with hot kisses and licks on her neck.

The diva's hips bucked into her. She didn't have control anymore. Quinn could do whatever she wanted with her and she wouldn't put up an argument. She could take the one thing Rachel valued above all else and then walk out the door and Rachel would still be happy. The blonde smirked at Rachel's reaction to her question, knowing what control she had now, and that knowledge turned her on more than anything.

She slowed her kisses, making them longer and more sensual as the ascended her neck, setting a new pace. "Have you ever been this close?" Quinn whispered in her ear, panting a few slow breaths against it as Rachel shut her eyes, clutching the side of Quinn's shirt until her knuckles were white. "Have you ever been this close to just letting go?"

Rachel shook her head as she unconsciously rocked against Quinn who only smiled deeper at the action.

"I wont do that to you... yet." The blonde continued to whisper, pushing Rachel further towards her edge. "That's special. But there are so many other things I want to do to you." The diva's mouth feel open and she gasped quickly and Quinn had to suppress her moan at the sexiness of it all. "I want to feel you." The cheerleader confessed, inching her hand down from Rachel's neck towards her chest, dragging her fingertips lightly over her collarbone and purposefully grazing the hardening nipple with the palm of her hand before she suddenly halted her actions. "What do you want though?"

Rachel swallowed hard, still unable to open her eyes. She couldn't figure out what was more surprising, how she was so willingly reacting to Quinn or how unbelievably and overtly sexual the blonde was being. You would have never guessed that this Quinn was known as a good little Christian girl.

"Hmm?" Quinn asked again, pressing her lips against the brunette's ear again and flicking her earlobe with her tongue. "What do you want?"

"Touch me."

Quinn moved her mouth bit down on Rachel's neck as she firmly closed her hand around Rachel's breast. The diva moaned as Quinn's other hand cupped her vacant breast and ran her thumbs over the erect nipples underneath the layers of fabric. Her hips bucked against Quinn's again. Suddenly the hands were gone and then back again as the blonde slipped them under Rachel's shirt and bra. Both girls gasped at the feel of skin on skin as Quinn's fingers played with the rock hard nipples.

"Hey, Rach?"

"Fuck." Both girls whispered as they separated and straightened their clothing after hearing the knock on the door and Mark's familiar voice behind it.

"Yes, Daddy?" Rachel asked, hopping off her desk and moving to open the door as Quinn tried to look busy by staring contently at the stacks of sheet music, ignoring the man's presence.

"Your father and I were wondering if you two would be up for having lunch with us at Breadsticks this afternoon. If you're not to busy doing whatever it is you two are doing while locked away up here." He asked leaning against the door way. Rachel didn't think he knew but still had a moment of doubt.

"We were just debating which musical selections would be the most easily accepted by Mr. Schuester knowing his controlling manner is not easily swayed."

Mark looked over to Quinn to was peeking over her shoulder. She raised a piece of sheet music and smiled weakly. "It's all Broadway."

The man huffed a laugh and stood up straight. "Would you expect anything else?" Rachel's jaw dropped and she pouted at the comment, earning her a roll of the eyes from her father. "Well, just let me know if you need a break and want to go with us. We're leaving in an hour."

Rachel let out a long breath as she shut the door and pressed her back against it to look at Quinn across the room. "Perhaps we should go with them."

Quinn pulled her head back as she turned around. "Why? I mean, they're nice and everything. I'm not saying I don't enjoy being around them. I'm just asking why it would be best if we went instead of staying." Rachel smiled at the blonde's impulsive self-correction, noticing how offensive it might have come off and fixing it before Rachel would be offended. Quinn really was showing another side around her, more and more every day.

"Because you just had your hands up my shirt. Can you imagine what we might end up doing while being fully aware of the fact that neither of my fathers are home?" Quinn curled her lips between her teeth to try and limit her smile. She knew. And while she really wanted to see if they could get there, she had no clue what to do. I mean, she could figure it out. It's pretty straight forward, but that was a big thing to just rush into over lunch. But instead of admitting that, she was going to have some fun with the diva first.

Quinn took a few slow steps towards Rachel who had stood up from her place against the door. "But you said I could touch you. You even told me that you wanted me to touch you." The blonde stated in a low seductive voice as she gently ran her fingertips up Rachel's sides and placed a light kiss just below her ear.

"I d-did. I have no issues with that form of exploration. H-h-however." She faltered as Quinn's fingers worked their way back down, this time pulling up Rachel's shirt with them as the grazed her bare skin. The brunette cleared her throat. "However... I do fear what may come after... after... um..." She had completely lost her train of thought, realizing somehow she was now back against the door with Quinn's hands lifting her bra to expose her breasts.

The blonde smirked as the verbose diva faded in her protest and now stood silently, looking down at Quinn's fingers as they teasingly traced lines around the underside of the fleshy mounds. "We still have an hour before they leave." Quinn stated as Rachel dropped her head back against the door, closing her eyes to try and regain as much control as she could only to lose it again as Quinn moved her thumbs to brush over her nipples again. "Maybe we could just let them know then."

She watched closely as Rachel swallowed and nodded her head frantically. She had never been so turned on as she was now, knowing that with just these light touches, this girl was hers again to do with as she pleased. It was control like she had always had, but now it was consented. It made it so much sweeter. After realizing that Rachel wasn't going to protest, Quinn dropped her eyes down to her fingers, watching as she worked over every centimeter of skin available. The skin was so soft and warm... Quinn couldn't even stop herself when she realized what she was doing and bent down, taking a nipple in her mouth.

"Oh, God." The brunette moaned as one hand came up to the back of Quinn's head and the other pressed against the door frame for support as her knees went weak.

Quinn swirled her tongue around the pink bud before she released it and looked up towards the diva's scrunched face. "Is this okay?"

"Yes." Was the answer that came before Quinn could even finish the question. The blonde smiled devilishly and did the same to the other as Rachel shifted her weight between her legs, feeling just how aroused she was. "Okay, maybe not."

Quinn stood and dropped her hands quickly, fearing she had done something wrong. "I'm sorry."

"No. No. You're fine. I just..." The diva blushed as she straightened her top. "I've never gotten that far before and while it was immensely enjoyable..." She didn't even know how to finish that sentence. Judging by the blush on Quinn's face, the cheerleader wasn't going to pressure her to either. Neither girl could look the other in the eye. This was how it worked. They would lose themselves and then be thrown back into the awkwardness of reality. What the hell were they doing? They had tolerated each other for only weeks, been friends for only days, and here they were doing things like _that_. Quinn wouldn't have had the guts to do that with anyone else even if in a long term relationship, clearly neither would Rachel.

Rachel was feeling the awkwardness as well. It was a challenge to want to do something while knowing that you didn't really have the basic foundation that would typically lead to it. The things that come first... the hand holding, hugs, cuddling... those were the things she knew or at least thought she knew Quinn would shy away from, being too emotionally intimate.

"I'm sorry." She finally said and Quinn's head popped up.

"Why are you sorry? I was the one that..." She motioned her hand to Rachel's chest, unable to actually say what she had done. "If anyone should be sorry, it's me."

The diva shook her head and reflexively grabbed Quinn's hand, taking a step closer to her. "No. You asked and I said it was fine. I just..." She looked down at their conjoined hands that the blonde had yet to pull away from. "I want you to have this week to explore, but at the same time... this just feels really fast... making anything real that might come afterward a little more difficult."

"So..." Quinn began, looking down as Rachel played with her fingers. It was weird, because she didn't really care. "Place a limit and I'll stay within it."

"But this week is-"

"For figuring out if I can get comfortable enough with this to risk everything else for it." Rachel bit her lips, never really having told Quinn that before. "If this was a real relationship, there would still be limits. I don't want you to lower your standards just because you're afraid I'm too shallow to take that jump."

"Quinn, I don't think you are at all that-"

"But I am." The blonde cut her off. "I am shallow and weak enough to allow other's to dictate my decisions and therefore my happiness just to stay in their good graces and keep my reputation."

Both girls continued to stare at their hands as the other two joined the already conjoined pair. "You're not weak. You have gained your strength in steps, that's all. I mean, you willing met my parents while trying to help me, knowing that they probably had issues with you. You stood up to Santana when you found out about her harassing texts. You even stood up to Mr. Matthews to get me my job back. Those aren't the actions of someone who is weak."

Quinn had never thought about those things like that before. She was always shocked by her actions but quickly thought of the social consequences. Then again... she still went through with them all. "So, maybe I'm not as weak as I thought, but I'm still not strong enough to stand like this with you outside of your bedroom."

"Again, that's not weakness. That's self-preservation. I know from watching Kurt and hearing stories from my fathers and some of their friends that coming out and being out are very difficult things to do. It's normal and not at all an indication of weakness to feel scared."

"Why are you so sweet to me? I haven't done anything to deserve this from you."

Rachel smiled faintly. "I beg to differ. If you think back to the beginning of our work experience together, I was just as short and confrontational as you were. It was only after you started being sweet to me that I was sweet to you."

Quinn lifted her head up, displaying a dropped brow and a confused expression. "How was I sweet to you?"

"You helped me with my wardrobe. You helped me with Santana and Mr. Matthews. You've been very sweet to me."

The blonde smiled weakly as she let the information set in. "Is it weird that my steps of strength all involve you?"

"I don't really think so... not with what we've been experimenting with anyway. I think they actually explain quite a bit." Perhaps they did. Quinn had thought that she had helped Rachel out of guilt, but did she really need to go to that extreme of lengths to help her out with her wardrobe. Couldn't a few fashion magazines during down time at the shop work too? Did she really have to sacrifice herself to Santana over a few texts? She could have just told Rachel to ignore them and that it would eventually stop. Maybe there had been more too it that she was just refusing to admit to herself.

Quinn shook her head. "No. You see this." She lifted their hands up. "This is okay... here. In your bedroom with your door shut. It's amazing actually. But whenever I think about someone else finding out about it or seeing it, I freak." Rachel frowned. "Not because it's you. I don't care that it's you. It's because you're a girl and I know what's coming."

The diva nodded her head. "This week is for you to decide which one wins. This amazing thing or what you know is coming."

~/~/~/~

The pair did end up going to Breadsticks with Rachel's dads. Quinn spent the time before their food came, looking around from her seat in their booth. She wasn't embarrassed to be seen with Rachel or the diva's fathers, she was more caught up in the handful or reactions the two men were receiving as they held hands.

"So you always get those looks?" She asked, looking at the men.

The shorter man nodded. "It is a common occurrence. But you learn to ignore it after a while."

"How? It would drive me insane to have all those eyes on me."

Mark laughed lightly. "I thought you were the head cheerleader and 'it girl' of McKinley. Are you saying that you don't already have all eyes on you?" Quinn shrank slightly in her seat next to Rachel. "Or are you referring to their disapproving eyes?"

Bryan read her answer in her dropped eyes. "It comes down to one simple thing Quinn. I love him. He is worth more to me than their stares. He makes me happy while they... they will always find something about me that makes them unhappy."

The tall dark skinned man nodded his head curtly. "If it's not one thing, I will be another. Pick and choose which ones you want in life. Happiness by your terms or theirs. You'll have to deal with it yourself eventually. Whether it's over the specific guy you fall in love with; his status, wealth, future... or maybe a choice of colleges you want to attend that another doesn't particularly care for."

Quinn had never really thought of those other things. There really were a lot of moments in life for her to look forward to where she was going to have to disappoint someone or change what she wanted to do in order to cater to their needs.

"They way I look at it all though," Bryan started to explain as he lowered her voice and looked around the restaurant. "For every pair of eyes on us with frowns below them, there are two or three who simply don't care." Quinn looked around again and he was right. While her attention had been so focused on how many didn't approve, she had never noticed how many just let them be without feeling the need to express their opinions one way or another. "If they don't like us being together, at least they keep it to themselves. I can live with that. They aren't trying to be hurtful or disrespectful."

Quinn let what they said sink in as the waitress brought them their meals. It was all true. She was going to deal with many moments in her life where she would have to decide whose happiness meant more, knowing that it wouldn't always be hers either. If anything was comforting about the discussion, it was when Bryan pointed out that yeah, some people don't like homosexuality and will broadcast their opinions, but so many more wont. Perhaps it was that understanding more than anything that had happened over the last few days that encouraged Quinn to take Rachel's hand under the table and hold it through the remainder of the meal.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Okay... where are we in the story. The girls are coming to a bit more of an understanding of where the other stands on their 'relationship' and it's not completely positive. It's kind of like taking that step forward while taking one back.**

**I have a few things in mind for the next couple of chapters that will further complicate the situation on both sides. Just enough to keep that drama going without eliminating all of the fluff. I like the fluff. But there are a few heart wrenching moments coming up. I'm thinking this story will be around 25 chapters like most of my others are, but I'm not completely sure yet. That's the problem with knowing the big picture the story is telling, but not knowing how it got there.**

**Thank you to everyone who reads and especially those who keep me motivated with their reviews. Last week was a rough patch trying to write around odd work hours, but hopefully everything has smoothed out now. I'll get back to writing a little bit longer chapters. Thank you and enjoy. (Ran out of time to edit)**

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Once again, the girls found themselves in Rachel's room, up against the brunette's door. It wasn't because of any heated passion, but to make sure her father's never walked in on them. This time was different though. Their kisses were slow and tender, taking their time instead of trying to get all of their searching in before someone changed their mind. Quinn had her right forearm braced on the door above Rachel's shoulder while her other hand was intertwined it the diva's.

This was more Rachel's pace. She had enjoyed their previous encounters, but this just seemed more genuine to her. Quinn wasn't looking for something more, but was content in the moment instead. Wanting to be there just to be there, not because she was expecting something specific. Risking ruining the moment, but feeling the need to show Quinn just how into what they were doing she was, Rachel lifted her free hand and placed it on Quinn's hip, gently sliding her finger tip up to reach bare skin.

The blonde hesitated her actions. "Don't stop." Rachel begged in a whisper. "Kiss me... gently." She could feel Quinn's body tremble. "Please."

"You're getting too into this."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked as Quinn pulled her head back slightly. "earlier today you had my breast in your mouth, I'm just resting my hand on your hip. How is it that when you take my hand it's okay, but I can't take yours?"

"Because it's different."

"It's different? You mean it's mutual. It's something that we both feel and therefore more real?"

"Get out of my head." Quinn stated, dropping Rachel's hand and retreating to her bed.

"Maybe you should get out of yours."

"What?"

Rachel took a quick step forward. "You hold my hand while we eat lunch, surrounded by dozens of people, but are now suddenly ashamed to accept that you like it. You keep bouncing back and forth and it's all because you're locked in your mind, floating in other's opinions, and are ignoring your own feelings."

"God, I don't want to sit through a lecture right now. I've got a lot of shit on my mind." She really did. She was thinking about things and how to down play what was going on between her and Rachel to everyone else. She had worked on Rachel's clothes so that would be fine. Quinn was going to be head cheerleader again so she had the power to pull the diva under her wing and not be questioned by too many people. But with Santana playing against her so passionately, it was going to be a challenge. To ensure that Rachel was accepted in the top ranks, it would take both her and Santana to lay down the law.

"And what 'shit' do you have on your mind right now that is distracting enough that you can't talk to me about why I can't-"

"I'm trying to figure out how to make this work, Rachel."

The brunette hesitated and dropped the anger in her voice. "Make what work, exactly?"

Quinn took a deep breath, moving her eyes around the room before returning them to Rachel's deep brown ones. "What you and I are doing... what we are feeling. It's not as simple as walking into school holding hands and expecting everyone to accept it."

"It could be."

The blonde shook her head. "Not with me. I want certain things. I'm selfish and I want them all, but it's a balancing act to get them. Things have to be thought out and calculated. Options thought of in case something doesn't work like it's suppose to."

"You're making this way too complicated, Quinn."

"No I'm not. I know how these things work. I can do this but it's just going to take time and you're just going to have to understand."

"_I'm_ going to have to understand? What exactly am _I _going to have to understand."

Quinn stood up and walked over to Rachel, cradling her head in her hands and kissed her lightly. She held the connection for several seconds before pulling away. "You're going to have to understand that I like you, but it's going to take time." Rachel understood it all now. If she wanted Quinn, she was going to have to cater to her insecurities until she was ready to get over them. This week wasn't going to be enough. Quinn had to do things her way in order to feel comfortable with anything. But at least she was interested enough to try.

"Fine. I just hope this works out and I'm not left out in the cold."

"That's why I'm trying so hard. I don't want that to happen. I know my weakness and I'm trying to work around it. I'm sorry that you don't agree with my approach but-"

"No." Rachel waved her off sluggishly. "I understand. I mean, the very notion that you are even attempting to peruse a relationship as well as build a solid social foundation for it in order to cause minimal harassment should actually be something I support, not criticize." Quinn couldn't help but smile, but then it faded. "I just don't like hiding who I am."

"I don't want you to hide."

"But you need me to. I get it."

The blonde pressed her forehead against Rachel's. "Just for a little bit. And I'll make it up to you until then."

Rachel looked down to her feet, twisting one foot on the toe of her shoe. "And how are you going to manage that exactly?"

"Let me take you to the movies."

The diva lifted her head up, roughly pulling away from Quinn's head. "Y-you... you're taking me out on a date?"

Quinn nodded with a little smile. "I mean, I'm not the one use to setting these things up so a cliché dinner and a movie will have to do until I get a better understanding of what I am required to do-" Her words were cut off as Rachel wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, pulling her into a deep kiss. "So... tomorrow night?" Quinn asked, light headed from the lack of oxygen once Rachel finally pulled away.

"Tomorrow sounds wonderful."

~/~/~/~

Quinn had even picked her up, paid for her ticket, drink, and anything else she wanted to eat. Rachel felt a little funny about it all as Quinn gave the cashier the money. This wasn't Quinn Fabray who was the daughter of one of the wealthiest families in Lima anymore. This was the Quinn Fabray who had to work through the summer to help pay for her cheerleading expenses and car insurance. She really didn't need to be paying for all of these already overpriced items. Rachel didn't want to embarrass her by bringing it up now, but she made a mental note to discuss it with her later.

"Where do you want to sit?" Rachel asked as she made her way up the aisles, taking a quick glance back over her shoulder to the blonde who quickly lifted her chin.

"Very back row."

Rachel tried to hide the instant doubt she felt. They already chose a movie where they didn't think many of their peers would be, but now she wanted to hide in the back so _no one_ could see that she was here with Rachel? "Would you like to hide in the corner too?" The diva grumbled.

"Only if you want to." Quinn retorted back, a little hurt. "I only wanted the back so I could hold your hand without having to worry about anyone behind us. Sorry."

Rachel closed her eyes, kicking herself for expecting the reasoning to be something very different. "No, I'm sorry. That's sweet." It was still hiding, but it was sweet.

"I'm trying, Rachel." Quinn stated as she sat down and handed the brunette her drink.

"I know. I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions without considering how much you are wanting this as well."

The blonde surprised her when she leaned over and pecked her cheek. "And I do."

Further proof of that was twenty minutes into the movie when Quinn leaned over and whispered something in Rachel's ear about the movie, taking the opportunity to kiss her cheek again, lingering there this time. Soon after that, and a last attempt to scan the audience for any familiar faces, Quinn leaned over again. When Rachel tilted her head closer to hear what she had to say, the blonde released her hand and turned her chin with the back of her hand, allowing their lips to fully connect. It was their first real public kiss.

"Are you staying over at my place tonight?" Quinn asked as she turned in her seat to meet Rachel's smiling lips again.

"If you want me to."

"I do." She mumbled between kisses as Rachel cupped her face. "God, I do."

"Are you going to be able to control yourself?" There was no answer, just more kissing until Rachel pulled away with a smile on her face. "Quinn..."

"Maybe?"

Part of Rachel wanted to push for a definite answer while another told her to take everything she could get, still fearing what was going to happen once school started. That part of her won the battle when the smirking blonde leaned back in for another kiss. Despite the fact that each girl was known for remaining in control and not liking to give it up, neither seemed to have any control over themselves while in the presence of the other. Quinn just needed more and couldn't seem to limit herself while Rachel felt compelled to pretty much give Quinn what she wanted, or rather, allow her to take what she wanted. Giving was a bit of an issue seeing how aggressive the blonde could be.

After a few minutes of aggravation, Quinn finally realized that the armrest separating them actually lifted up and out of the was, allowing her hands to more comfortably roam where they pleased. "I love these skirts." She mumbled as she pressed another hot kiss to the brunette's neck as her hand slid up Rachel's outer thigh, stopping just under the hem of her skirt.

"I can tell." Rachel panted with her eyes closed tight. All of her senses were just overrun and her body was still aching for more. "We're going to have to stop this soon."

"I don't think I can." Quinn confessed, moving to the other side of her neck.

"You're going to have to find away because this is not the place I would be comfortable allowing you to do what I want you to do right now."

Quinn stopped her actions and pulled away, looking Rachel in the eyes. "What exactly is that?"

"Not sex."

"Define sex." Quinn couldn't believe that came out of her mouth as quickly and as tactlessly as it did.

Rachel didn't seem to mind, answering back with an equally direct response. "Penetration."

They both let that information sink in for a bit, neither moving from where they were, hands still on each other. "So... other stuff is..."

"Possibly."

Quinn nodded her head slowly. "Just depends on..."

"My nerves and the mood."

"But this wouldn't be me pressuring you at all?" Rachel shook her head, swallowing hard. She wanted this but had just been afraid that it would easily turn into something more with their eagerness but knew that she could trust Quinn now. The blonde wouldn't do anything she wasn't ready for. "Okay. So, maybe tonight we could try something."

"Maybe."

Quinn nodded again, unsure of what else to say. "Okay."

The pair continued their kissing but eased up a bit, knowing that there was nothing to really push for with their new understanding. Quinn had to confess that it wasn't the most romantic way of going about it all, it didn't happen like in the movies where the couple just looked at each other and somehow had this silent conversation. This was real life and these things had to be talked about which meant there would be awkward moments. They had limped through enough of them in the last few days, what was one or two more? Besides, they were kind of a couple now. Not official or anything, secretly at best. But Quinn_ had_ taken her out on a date.

She had never felt so nervous before. Once they left the movie and Rachel said she needed to stop by the 'little girl's room', Quinn was hit with a wave on anxiety. She knew what was coming and wanted it. And she knew what wasn't coming and was okay with that, not for a second thinking of pushing for more. But how it all came to be was still a little strange to her. With her boyfriends, there had always been a line that she had no intention ever crossing. Perhaps it was because they were guys and she wasn't in to them, but it had been so easy to hold her stance, earning her that ice queen title. But with Rachel... she wanted her.

"Well, well, well. Looky who we've got here."

Quinn lifted her head, knowing that voice, and turned around to face Santana who already took her stance; weight shifted to one leg, hand on her him, eye narrow, smirk on her lips ready to be smacked off. "Santana."

"Quinn. Don't tell my you're here with your girlfriend."

The blonde arched an eyebrow, not giving anything away. "My girlfriend?"

"Yeah, the dwarf that you seem to have been spending so much time with, you've neglected the rest of the world. I mean, I can't even tell you how many times I have driven by that mansion built for God of yours this summer and never once have I seen your car there."

_That would be because I don't live there anymore._ "I've been busy."

"Busy with Berry." The Latina stated with the look of disgust on her face. "But seriously, have you been with her all this week?"

"I have been." Best to get it out in the open, but not to give too much away.

"I knew it. Just tell me you two aren't fucking." Quinn rolled her eyes and walked away, but Santana only followed. "You aren't, are you?"

"No! Not like it would be any of your business even if I was." The blonde stated, coming to a stop against the wall so they were out of the moving crowds way. Quinn silently hoped that Rachel was still waiting in line for the bathroom, or had seen Santana and wisely decided to stay away.

"It would be my business if you were sabotaging your reputation. It would be perfect timing for me to reclaim my spot on top. But luckily for you, I'm more interested in the oddity of it all right now. I mean, you've redone her wardrobe, which I give you props for. I never thought the midget would look half way decent in anything. But you 'ordered' me not to text her. Then you got her rehired after I worked really hard to get her fired. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"She's not that bad." Santana stood motionless, waiting for something that she could actually understand. "Okay, so she rambles a lot, but she's not as narcissistic as she is in school. She can actually have her kind of... like... cool moments." This time Santana arched an eyebrow and pulled her head back, fearing for the blonde's sanity. Quinn was going to have to try a slightly different approach. "She fought back with me this summer. I called her names, she called me names. I picked on her, she picked right back. She didn't take any crap whatsoever from me and I thought that gained her a little bit of respect.

"So, you're saying because you couldn't keep her in her place, that she's now going to be this new version of Rachel Berry. Less annoying and better dressed? And you plan on making her less of a social outcast?"

"Yes."

Santana stood up straight and shook her head. "She's drugged you, hasn't she?"

"No."

"Then she's done something to you."

"She hasn't done anything to me." _Except make me fall for her._ "I just actually gave her a chance and as long as she keeps the rambling to a minimum," _And her kisses to a maximum._ "Then she's tolerable and somewhat enjoyable to be around."

Again, Santana stood quietly as she studied the blonde. Quinn straightened her posture, not backing down as she eyed the Latina back. "Your reputation. Not mine. I'm not attaching myself to that sinking ship."

"I wasn't asking you to." _But I need you to._

Quinn watched as the Latina eyed her one last time and then turned around and left. "Was that Santana?" Rachel asked, walking up to the blonde slowly.

Quinn let out a long sigh. "Yeah."

"What did she want?"

"To know if I was here with you and if I had been spending all summer with you as well."

Rachel looked down sheepishly, lowering her voice as well. "And what did you say?"

"I told her I was, I have been, and that she should give you a chance."

The brunette couldn't help but smile as she was using the rest of her strength to keep from wrapping her arms around her... friend? "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Not yet anyway. This is one of those things where it's only going to get worse before it gets better."

"How so?" Rachel asked as they left the theater and headed to Quinn's car, still fighting the urge to hold her hand.

"Santana now sees you as a threat." Rachel dropped her brow. "She's my number two, with me taking such a strong interest in you... she's afraid that you'll replace her and she'll drop down another peg."

"She's going to push me to see if I run away?"

Quinn shook her head, looking at Rachel over the roof of her car as they both stood, waiting to get in. "No. She's going to push me to see just how committed I am to bringing you up in status. To see how long it takes before I give up or succeed."

"And how will she do that?"

"That, I don't know. But I do have a feeling that the first week or two of school is going to be Hell for both of us."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I actually feel kind of evil after writing this chapter... So I guess I should apologize ahead of time.**

**More drama. More explanation into the girl's emotions. More understanding between the two. Some humor in there as well. Oh, titles and status are discussed as well. But I think that's it. And if you noticed, we are back to our normal length pretty much. Hopefully it will stay that way for a while. It all depends on work though and that can change hourly.**

**I'm keeping my notes short tonight so you can just get on with the story. Thank you everyone who is reading and reviewing. I am so glad that you all are enjoying this. I'm still keeping the mixture of fluff and drama, but every now and then one will win out more than the other. Hope you enjoy!**

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"Mom? I'm home. Rachel's here too." Quinn called out as she walked into her house, pulling the keys from the door and holding it open for Rachel to enter.

"Is she staying the night tonight?" Judy called from where Rachel remembered the kitchen being.

"If that's alright with you, Mrs. Fabray." The brunette called back, then quickly looking to Quinn and dropping her voice. "She still goes by Fabray, right?"

"Yes. That's not a name you give up around here if you can help it." The blonde answered with a smile at her... friend's thoughtfulness.

"That's fine, Sweety. Are you two hungry?" Judy asked, turning around to face the pair as they entered the kitchen, each shaking their head. "Was it a good movie?"

Rachel looked up to Quinn who opened her mouth and then just settled on a nod. "It was. I actually enjoyed it."

"Me too." The diva added with a broad smile.

"Good. I'm glad you had fun. If you two want anything later just help yourselves, okay?"

"Thank you."

"Thanks, Mom."

Judy held on to Quinn's arm as she passed, holding her back as Rachel exited the kitchen towards the basement bedroom. "I'm proud of you." The older blonde stated in a hushed voice and Quinn pulled her head back in a bit of surprise. "I'm proud that you didn't let Santana's opinions cost you a friendship with Rachel. She seems like a very genuine young lady with impeccable morals and manners. Much better than Santana in my opinion."

_Then should I tell you now that we are headed down stairs to make out and everything else that isn't penetration?_ "Thanks Mom."

"Everything alright?" Rachel asked as Quinn joined her at the basement door.

"Yeah. She's just glad that my week long depression has ended and that you and I are friends."

The brunette cringed as she followed Quinn down the steep stairs. "What exactly does she think that was about, anyway?"

"Santana's approval of you. Or rather, her disapproval." Quinn kept the part about letting someone else's opinion get in the way. She didn't need to hear another lecture from Rachel on that topic right now. It would kill what was left of the mood that nerves hadn't yet.

Rachel must have been feeling the awkward nervousness as well as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder. "Would you mind if I took a shower?" Quinn shook her head and pointed to the bathroom though Rachel already knew where it was. "Would you be offended if I was to lock the door as well?"

This time Quinn laughed and blushed a little as she dropped her eyes to the ground. "No. That's fine. I'll try not to take it too personally. In fact, I think I'm going to run up stairs and take one as well."

Rachel nodded shyly. "Okay."

Quinn just let the warm water of the shower run over her face, hoping it would wash away all of the stress. For the last couple days she just felt like she was running on auto pilot. She knew what she was wanting but just couldn't ever seem to get any closer to it. It's like she was running but she wasn't moving, having nothing to show for her efforts and having people stare at her, waiting for it. Santana wanted her to stay the same and forget everything that was going on with Rachel. Rachel was wanting Quinn to step up and just risk it all, changing everything in her life. And Judy, well she was unknowingly trying to convince her daughter to date a girl and ruin the family name even further with her pep talks. Did any of them actually know how much stress she was under just because of one thing?

Rachel was having the same type of moment in her shower just below Quinn's. This was her last year. Her last time to feel like she actually belonged and was accepted by anyone. It wasn't so much the popularity she was looking for anymore, but a deeper connection. Someone who would just take who she was and love it. There were moments where Quinn seemed like she could be the one to do that, going to all this trouble to make Rachel part of her life. But she was doing that to save herself as well. It wasn't just for Rachel. She wasn't worth just risking everything, and that hurt. She was struggling with the feeling of being nothing more than an experiment with the blonde but would suddenly feel like she was something special to her as well. It was back and forth in her mind. She just needed to know.

When Rachel shut off the water she heard Quinn's dresser shut. She quickly dried her hair and put on her pajamas, straightening them in the mirror before she walked out of the bathroom. "I see you didn't actually lock it." The blonde joked with a smirk, not having heard the bathroom door unlock.

Rachel blushed slightly. "Perhaps not."

"So maybe I should have pressed my luck to see if I could have joined you?"

"What would have been the point in joining me in the shower when I'm going to be sleeping in your bed all night?"

Quinn swallowed hard as Rachel approached her. "Basement door's locked." She mumbled as the diva's hands cupped her face. "Mom will have to knock."

"Good." Rachel nodded as she lifted her chin to meet Quinn's lips with her own just briefly. "We don't want her coming in tonight."

"Nope." The blonde agreed as Rachel wrapped her arms around her neck, deepening the kiss. "So, like, how far have you ever gotten?" Quinn asked breaking away from Rachel's mouth just briefly before catching sight of those deep brown eyes wanting more and moved her lips to her neck, gently sucking on the sensitive skin, needing to keep things progressing.

"As far as I've gotten with you." Quinn wanted to be sweet at the moment but hearing that she was the first one in this unexplored territory excited her and something primal surged through her and she bit down on the diva's pulse spot, causing her to gasp. "Wait."

"Why?" The blonde asked, not halting her actions.

"Because I need to know. I need to hear you say it."

"Say what?" Quinn asked in confusion as she pulled away and looked at Rachel. Seeing a look of mixed emotions in her eyes; pleading, hoping, needing... Quinn knew what she needed to hear. "I-I... I _am_ gay. And..." She smiled lightly, resting her temple against Rachel's as she brought her hands to her hips. "If you can accept that I'm not ready to come out to the world, I would like it if you would consider being my girlfriend."

That was actually more than Rachel was expecting. She was looking to make sure that this wasn't just an experimental thing. She would have been head over heels at the thought of Quinn actually wanting to be with her if it hadn't come with the problem of having to hide who she was. So instead of ecstatic, she was simply overjoyed as she smiled widely. "I accept it, I just hope it doesn't take long. That's all."

"So does that mean you will be?"

The brunette smiled more genuinely and tilted her head, kissing her first girlfriend lightly. "Yes."

Quinn laughed lightly. "Is it strange how over six weeks we went from enemies to friends to secret crushes to dating?"

"I think the basis or those developments was placed a long time ago though."

"So you think I liked you before the dressing room incident?"

"How else would you have known my boobs were bigger than yours?"

Quinn paused. "Okay... good point. So I've looked. But- Hey, does that mean that you have known about my attraction to you for longer than I have?"

Rachel avoided the blonde's eyes as she pulled her head back slightly to study the diva's face. "Perhaps I had an inclination."

"An inclination?"

The brunette nodded, lifting her chin slightly in confidence, but not her eyes as she ran her fingers over the shoulders of Quinn's shirt. "And clearly, I wasn't wrong."

~/~/~/~

The playful teasing lead to playful kissing which lead to escalated hormones and a heightened since of need. Rachel didn't remember Quinn's bed being so cushy from before. But now it seemed to swallow her, holding her on all sides while the blonde laid lightly on top of her, one arm braced on her side, the other up her shirt, fondling her breast again. It felt so good when Quinn touched her like that. There was a jolt of electricity that shot through her each time. And this time, she was allowed to return the attention, sliding both of her small hands up the blonde's top, mimicking her massaging motions.

Quinn was dying. She had thought it was amazing just to touch Rachel, but to have the action returned was amazing. It was something she had never felt before. When Puck had attempted anything like this, his hands were rough, not gentle. It probably didn't help that her body had tensed against his touch. This was different though, leaving her wanting more. Why had she always stopped the brunette?

Rachel must have understood the moans of need that were coming from the blonde and dropped one hand, gliding light fingernails down her stomach until she reached the waistband of her sweatpants. The brunette toyed with it for a few seconds, waiting for any form of protest and when she didn't receive it, she flattened her palm and slowly guided her hand between the heated skin and thick material of her pants. Quinn's body shuddered when Rachel touched her where no one had in so long and she deepened her kiss, expressing her need.

The diva felt her way passed the curls and to her folds. The heat was radiating from the blonde already. Lightly she traced her middle finger along her nether lips until Quinn whimpered in her mouth, desperate for anything more.

Both girls jumped when loud pounding could be heard above them and Rachel quickly withdrew her hand. "God Damn it, Judy! Open the door!"

"Shit." Quinn mumbled, pushing her self off of Rachel. "Stay here."

"Quinn?" The blonde ignored her, running up the basement stairs as fast as she could. Before she even made it halfway, Rachel was out of bed following her.

"Open the damn door! I know you're in there!"

When the girls made their way out of the basement Judy was leaning against the front door in her night robe. "Go home, Russell."

"Did you call the police yet?" Quinn asked and her mother turned around, shaking her head with a remorseful look on her face. "You have to call them, Mom. He'll be there all night if you don't." The younger blonde stated, darting into the kitchen to grab the cordless phone. Rachel stood in the hallway motionless, knowing what was going on but still unable to process it all. Was this really happening?

"You're my wife! Open up the door or I'll break it down!" There was a loud bang against the door that hit hard enough that Judy actually bounced off of it and Rachel could have sworn she hear the sound of wood splitting.

"I'm not your wife anymore, Russell. Go home."

"You're my wife as long as I want you to be, woman. Now let me in."

"No."

"Yes!" He hit the door again and Rachel ran to help Judy secure it as she knew she heard the sound of the frame breaking. A few more hits or kicks like that and he _would_ be inside.

"You should be down stairs, Rachel." Judy whispered, shame and pain in her eyes.

"You need me here though." The diva stated in a whisper, pressing her back against the wooden barrier. There was another hard hit that knocked the wind from Rachel's lungs because it hit with such force.

"You're only making this worse for yourself!"

"The police are on their way." Quinn called as she exited the the kitchen, shocked to see Rachel where she was. "I told you to stay down stairs. You don't need to be here for this." The brunette stood up from the door, still trying to regain her breath. Quinn seemed to know what had caused Rachel's silence and pulled her close to her with one hand on her back while bracing the other arm against the door.

"I think he's wearing himself out." Judy stated with relief in her voice. There was a lighter thud against the door, as if Russell had sat down and leaned against it. It was only seconds later that red and blue lights flashed through the house windows. "They must have been close by this time. Why don't you take Rachel back down stairs and I'll deal with this."

"Are you sure?" Quinn asked and Judy nodded, straightening her robe and peaking through the peep hole to know when it would be alright to head out side. "Come on." The younger blonde urged, grabbing Rachel's hand and returning to the basement that seemed unbearably quiet. "I told you to stay down here. You could have gotten hurt."

Rachel shook her head as her mouth opened without releasing any words. She just stood there and accepted Quinn's disapproval. "I'm sorry."

The blonde let out a quick breath and looked her girlfriend over. "Are you okay?" Rachel nodded, a little shaken by the whole ordeal though. Quinn must have noticed and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't think he would be stupid enough to try that again or I would have warned you."

"How often does he do that?"

The blonde shrugged and released her hold on Rachel, never looking her in her eyes. "I don't know. Can we just go to bed?"

"Quinn..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Rachel. I would really just prefer to go to sleep."

Rachel didn't argue with her and forgot about everything they were doing before the incident when she crawled into bed with her girlfriend. Quinn rolled over on her side to turn out the light and stayed there with her back to the other girl. This was probably the most out of place Rachel had felt in a long, long time. Even more than she had at Puck's party. She laid there, staring at the ceiling for a long time until she heard Quinn's breath catch in her chest. The blonde was crying.

She opened her mouth to call her name but decided against it, turning on her side instead and draping her arm over the blonde's waist. Rachel wiggled as close as she could, now feeling the vibrations of the silent sobs, and tucked her mouth in the crook of her girlfriend's neck.

"That's my dad, Rachel." The admission was a painful reminder of what Quinn was really dealing with that no one was allowed to see. Her word was crumbling apart. It was suddenly very clear as to why she was so set on coming out on her own terms. She needed some sort of control in her life. The pair laid there for a long while, neither even considering drifting off to sleep until Quinn spoke up again. "I feel numb all day." She sniffed. "I feel like I need to block out all the pain. But when the good stuff happens, I have have to block that out too because what causes it isn't suppose to make me feel good. The fact that it does will only cause more pain when everyone else finds out."

Rachel lifted up on her elbow, resting her chin on the blonde's shoulder. "But what is causing you to feel good is still going to be there to make you feel better afterward."

"And what if you're not there?"

"I will be. I'm here now." Rachel tried to reason with her. "Quinn, you're safe with me. I'm never going to judge you for being yourself. I want you to be happy."

"Even if that means going against what you want?"

They kept coming back to this and it was actually starting to aggravate Rachel. She didn't like being reminded that she was going against one of her own beliefs. "Why are you so worried about me not wanting to hide? I told you that I would for you. I know you need time. I might not want to do it but I will. Why do you keep bringing it up?"

Quinn laid there in silence for a minute as a fresh wave of tears hit her. Her voice was small and raw with emotion. "Because I feel guilty for making you."

Rachel's heart nearly broke right then as a flood of emotion stuck in her throat. She was still learning things about Quinn, about how much and how deep she felt. This was just another reminder of that Quinn really did care. Rachel suddenly felt guilty for even needing the reminders when they came at such an emotional cost to the blonde. "You don't need to feel guilty. It's a choice that I'm making."

"Because the options I've given you aren't fair."

"Things aren't always fair. You of all people should know that. I've accepted your terms. Willingly."

"I bullied you into it."

Rachel laughed. "You haven't bullied me into anything. I told you._ I _made the choice. I choose you."

"I know, but you shouldn't have to choose."

"Then you would have to be the one to choose and I think you're dealing with enough right now. Just... follow your plan. Make things easier for us and then we'll come out when you want. All I ask is that we don't have to hide the whole year. This is our last year and if we are to see if this relationship can last after high school... we need to actually behave like a couple."

"Outside of the bedroom?" Quinn teased lightly with a faint smile, earning a smile from the brunette as well.

"Yes. Outside of our bedrooms." She leaned down and pecked the blonde's lips. "But... I want to do something about this numbness you are feeling." Rachel stated, pushing up further on her arm and urging Quinn to roll over on her back. "I want to make you feel something good instead." She began lifting Quinn's shirt slowly, pulling it off over her head with some help from the blonde and discarded it across the room before the pair's lips met in a kiss of pure need that seemed to ignite out of no where.

Rachel placed her weight on her knees, one between Quinn's legs and the other on the side while one hand rested by the blonde locks and the remaining one teased a quickly hardening nipple. When Rachel pulled her lips away from Quinn's she instantly took the bud into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it like Quinn had with hers that once. It had felt great and judging by the blonde's reaction, it did for her too. "Fuck..."

"So you feel that?" Rachel asked teasingly, looking up at her girlfriend's eyes seductively as her tongue darted out to tease the nipple again. Quinn's head dropped back to her pillow and she growled lightly.

"Yes. I feel that."

"What about this?" Rachel asked, ghosting her lips across the skin between the blonde's breasts before she got to the other, teasing it just the same with a few swirls and light sucking.

"Fuck, yes."

"And how about this?" Rachel lowered her hand again to the top of Quinn's pants, hesitating with a few faint glides of her fingers side to side before pushing past the fabric to that boundary they had been stopped at earlier. This time, Rachel wasn't going to wait, moving her fingers lower to search for that bundle of eager nerves.

"Shit, Rachel."

"Found it." Quinn nodded her head frantically as she rocked her hips in time with Rachel's circling fingers. Rachel knew how to do this. She had done it privately to herself before so this wasn't anything new. What was new was watching how Quinn was reacting to it. The sexy, panting mouth. The creased, concentrated forehead. The ragged breath that worked against the smooth rotation of her hips. It was by far the sexiest thing Rachel had ever seen. She was already addicted.

"Quinn, Sweety?"

"Fucking Hell." The blonde mumbled as she heard the basement door open and her mother call her name. She had forgotten to lock it. Rachel panicked and dove over to her side of the bed as the younger blonde pulled the covers over her, up to her chin, to hide her bare chest. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to come down and talk to Rachel about what just happened with your father."

Quinn rolled her eyes at the woman's horrible time for a discussion. The throbbing between her legs didn't exactly help with her mood either. "I've explained it to her already, Mom."

_No you didn't._ "Not that there was much explaining needing to be done." Rachel mumbled as Judy descended the final steps into the basement. "Really, it's okay, Mrs. Fabray. I understand."

Clearly the woman had somethings she wanted to say as she leaned against the stair rail, content on not leaving anytime soon. Rachel tried her hardest not to notice how Quinn kept clinching her legs together as her mother rambled on about how people change and not always for the best. How some find it difficult to deal with their emotions and turn to other things such as alcohol to help. All Rachel could do was keep pulling the covers up to her chin in attempts to hide her smile at the struggling younger blonde who was almost groaning in her sexual frustration. If there was anything that Judy said that did comfort Rachel at all, it was that she was taking a restraining order out on her ex husband. She didn't want that man anywhere near Quinn.. or herself really. Tonight had actually scared her, but her concern for Quinn's emotional state overrode that fear.

By the time Judy was done and felt that she had sufficiently explained that Rachel was safe and that this would most likely never happen again, Quinn was over the painful 'blue balls' effect and had settled down. Now she was just angry for not getting off yet again tonight.

"So you girls can feel safe here, okay?"

"I do, Mrs. Fabray." Rachel answered with a light nod of her head.

"Alright. Well, you two get some sleep okay. I think I'll do the say. I still have to work in the morning."

"Goodnight, Mom." They remained silent until they heard the basement door click shut. "Oh my God!"

Rachel burst into laughter. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." The blonde grumbled, getting out of bed and putting her shirt back on. "But I honestly think that actually killed the mood completely. I just kept wishing she would shut up and leave so we could finish that." _Or that you would have just kept your hands on me under the covers._

"We can always try again tomorrow. I mean, your mom is going to work. How many hours does that leave us home alone?"

A slow smirk spread across Quinn's face. "I like how you think."

The diva smiled, leaning over to peck her girlfriend on her lips. "I bet you do."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Average length today. Not too short but not all that long. A little bit of everything that we have covered and we get to see a bit of their communication break down and how their separate fears are impacting their relationship. They are hitting on an issue that will continue to plague their relationship for a while, disappearing only to reappear later. I still want to take the realistic road with this one while adding humor and fluff in there too. **

**Keeping the author's notes short tonight and just going to let you get right into reading. Mainly because my mind is shutting down from lack of sleep. But anyway, I thank you all for reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoy. Oh, again, if there is anything you want to see happen in the story, let me know.**

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"I'm going to say this as politely as I can, okay?" Quinn asked as she pushed forward and laid Rachel down on the couch, hovering over her and continuing their morning make out session which started immediately as they jointly watched Judy's car drive away from the small house.

"Sure."

"Okay... I thought... you were a prude."

Rachel pulled her lips away and lifted Quinn off of her with palms to her shoulders. "Excuse me?"

"Well, Finn had always complained that you didn't put out. I had never thought anything of it except maybe harboring a margin of respect for you, but... like... you've already had your hand down my pants twice. I'm just trying to figure out where that change is coming from."

"And what about you, Miss abstinence education?"

"First off, it's something that needs to be taught so girls don't end up in the same situation I was in."

"Or they could just teach safe sex."

"No sex is safe sex." Quinn paused and closed her eyes for a second. "I just sounded like one of Ms. Pillsbury's pamphlets, didn't I?"

"Just a bit." Rachel giggled from underneath her.

"Anyway, I'm serious. I don't want anyone else to go through that. So why can't I rally for it?"

"Because you've let me have my hand down your pants twice already."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "But you can't get me pregnant either."

"Well, maybe that's my logic too."

Quinn shook her head. "No. You care too much for yourself and your virginity. That's not your only reason."

"Well, firstly, I'm not giving you my virginity. We're just fooling around. No penetration, remember?" Quinn tried not to feel a little hurt by that. I mean, she hadn't had her heart set on taking it from the diva, but the fact that Rachel didn't have plans for it down the road kind of hurt. I mean, Rachel thought of everything long term. Was Quinn not special enough for consideration as her first? Finn had been. So had Jesse and the blonde thought she was steps above both of them.

"So why not get this far with Finn or Puck or Jessie? Why am I the only one that you have let get this far?"

That was a very good question. With her boyfriends, it had all been about curiosity. What was it like? What was so great about sex that everyone wanted to do it. There was still that mystery with Quinn, but it wasn't Rachel's focus anymore. "What are you getting at?"

"Whatever it is that you aren't telling me." Quinn retorted, seeing Rachel deflect her question.

"Sit up." Rachel ordered and the blonde did, taking her seat at the far end of the sofa and allowing a flustered diva her space. "I'm not hiding anything."

The blonde scoffed. "You are being such a hypocrite. I can see it in your eyes. There is something that you're not wanting to tell me."

"And why would I not want to tell you something?"

Quinn shrugged with a smug smile on her face. "I don't know. Maybe you're embarrassed about something. All I know is that you are lying. You're a horrible liar." Rachel pouted. "You may want to talk to an acting coach about that."

"Well! You... I... Fine. Perhaps I have come to the understanding that I might... clearly prefer females to males."

"So... you aren't bisexual, but rather gay?" Quinn pressed, smiling in victory.

"I don't think so. I just believe I like females more. It's just a preference. I also feel less... vulnerable with you." _Oddly._ "You have a secret and so do I, despite the fact that I am fully willing..." Rachel paused to re think her words. "That I am much more willing to expose my secret. But still, there is a certain level of trust already put in place that I have been able to expand on."

"So, you let me get further because you trust me more?"

Rachel nodded her head. "I mean, I don't exactly have the best track record with guys. Noah used me to make you jealous. Jessie used me as a real life acting class and broke my heart. Finn dumped me to date other girls, then lied to me, then dumped me again."

"And I've slushied you, called you names, and spread rumors about the possibility of you having a penis."

"That wasn't really you though. That was you pretending to be someone you're not. They were being themselves. I've seen who you really are and that's the girl I trust. She's the one I've let in and have started to give my heart to, hoping she doesn't break it."

Quinn let those words soak in, feeling that if she ever did let Rachel down, she would destroy her on a very deep level, maybe preventing her from ever fully trusting someone again in her life. You can only be knocked down so many times before it gets stuck in your head that it's going to happen every time. "I've never given my heart to someone. I haven't had any real feelings for anyone I've dated before." The confession startled both girls. "I've never let someone inside like I have with you. Finn is too slow to understand me so I just led him around like a puppy dog, drawing the attention and popularity from it. Puck just wanted to have sex with me, regardless of what he says. He's proven that time and time again and I only dated him because I didn't want to be alone. Sam... well, he just wanted the popularity boost. Did I ever tell you that he confessed to wanting to marry me one day after only knowing me for a few weeks?"

Rachel arched an eyebrow and mouthed 'okay'.

"Exactly. He had no clue what he was talking about. He didn't have any real feelings for me but he was someone to keep me company. He used me and I used him. But I still never let him in."

"So... why let me in?"

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Because I trust you to understand. You're on a more equal level with me... and I trust you not to hurt me."

This is what still managed to catch Rachel off guard. That Quinn saw _her_ as being the one to possibly hurt someone while in Rachel's mind, this was Quinn _Fabray_. Sure Rachel had gotten to know a sweeter, softer, and more vulnerable side, but she knew that should that vulnerable side be exposed too much, Rachel would be the one hurt in the end. Quinn would go into self-preservation mode and ditch her in a heart beat, if not using her as a scapegoat completely. And unfortunately, she didn't see her mental battle ending any time soon with a decisive victory to turn to. One minute, Quinn was perfect and someone she could trust, the next, someone to be leery of.

Right now, the girls were on two different emotional pages. Quinn had just dropped another wall, confessing that Rachel now had enough insight into her (which she willingly gave her) in order to hurt her. She had just put herself out there, asking Rachel not to hurt her. All while Rachel's walls flew back up, locked within her own mind and fears. Quinn was needing her to give her some sort of support or understanding that she would never hurt her, but Rachel was so mixed up in her own worries that she didn't even realize that was what the blonde was looking for. So when Quinn leaned forward to kiss her, an act of consummating in her mind their understanding that Rachel would never hurt her, Rachel pulled back in reaction to something completely different.

"W-what's wrong?" The blonde asked nervously, trying not to feel panicked that maybe Rachel was actually foreseeing this relationship not work out and that's why she couldn't commit to not hurting Quinn as well as never indicating the possibility of Quinn ever being her first.

Rachel shook her head. "Nothing. I just... I'm not entirely in the mood to fool around right now."

"Oh." Quinn couldn't hide the hurt on her face. Rachel had rejected her on a deeper level than the she had realized. "Okay."

"My mind is just all over the place right now. That's all."

The blonde nodded her head, fighting the instinctual walls that were trying to rise out of her pain to protect what was left of her heart. "Yeah. It's okay. Did you, I don't know, want to do something else? Watch a movie or go for a walk or something?" _Please_.

_God, she is so sweet sometimes... sometimes._ "Actually, I think that it might be easier if I was to sort through my thoughts at home. You and I have spent so much time together, I just think that a little bit of alone time would make the process much more expedient."

_She's running. I'm too much of a hassle for her._ "Yeah. It's fine. Whatever." The last word came out in a different tone than the rest. Quinn's attitude of protection had slipped through and Rachel winced.

"I'm not trying to upset you. I am honestly trying to do this in the most delicate fashion."

"I get it, Rachel." Quinn stated, the pain burning in her chest, throat, and eyes as she stood up and began to leave the room, not looking back. "I get it."

The diva was left on the couch, lost in her thoughts. Had Quinn just abandoned her because she wouldn't fool around with her? "Quinn?"

"What?" The question had come out harshly as the blonde stopped in the doorway, her back to Rachel still so she couldn't see the tears building in her eyes.

"Why are you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry, Rachel. I'm hurt. You know, the one thing I thought I wouldn't have to worry about with you."

The brunette opened her mouth and scoffed as she tried to find her other words. "You're hurt because I wont fool around with you?"

Quinn spun around and looked at her in disbelief. "No! You actually think I would try and make you feel bad for not wanting to... Rachel..." _I thought you knew me better than that. _Rachel lowered her head, still unsure of what she had done to hurt the blonde, but now guilty for thinking Quinn would try and pressure her into anything by manipulating her emotions. "I just put myself out there and you shot me down, not even kissing me in response to what I had said. You wanted to go home. How am I suppose to feel?"

Rachel stood up suddenly realizing what she had done. "No, Quinn... that wasn't... That's not what I meant it for. I don't want to hurt you and I hope I never do."

Quinn closed her eyes and swallowed hard as her girlfriend of not even twenty-four hours approached and laced her arms around her waist and pecked her lips. "Then why do you want to leave if what I said didn't scare you?"

"Because... because my heart and mind are having a hard time meeting in the middle on certain things. While you're scared I'm going to hurt you, my mind is still yelling at me that there is a very serious possibility that I might be the one to end up hurt. But my heart says I'm safe with you." Quinn wanted to tell her she was, but at the same time, she instantly knew why Rachel was hesitant and couldn't blame her or disagree with it. She didn't like it, but she still acted impulsively when it came to her reputation and protecting herself.

"Stay." She pleaded instead. She may not have been able to honestly ease Rachel's fears, but she didn't want her to leave either. "We don't have to do anything, I just don't want you to go." Quinn wrapped her arms around the smaller girl's shoulders and gently placed her hand on the back of her neck, needing to feel her smooth skin.

"I'll stay."

~/~/~/~

The absolute sexiest thing that Quinn had ever seen was unfolding in front of her eyes. She hadn't pushed, but never declined to follow Rachel's lead as she led the blonde down to her bedroom and laid on the bed after they ate lunch that afternoon. It had started as just kissing with little whispers and flirting in ears, kisses just below them. Then Rachel deepened the kisses a little, and then a little more. Quinn hadn't intended on doing anything more than kissing and maybe letting her hands wander a bit, but Rachel had different plans.

The blonde's right hand had been high on the diva's thigh, gently squeezing as they kissed. But then Rachel lowered her own hand on top of it and guided Quinn over, between her legs. As soon as her fingers touched the damp fabric of Rachel's panties, Quinn's thoughts were gone and Rachel returned both of her hands to Quinn's neck, deepening the kisses a little more in anticipation. The brunette did have to lightly buck her hips to get Quinn focused on what she was suppose to do and begin gliding the pads of her fingers back and forth over the length of the cotton material. She smiled into the next kiss as Rachel opened her legs a little further, encouraging her on.

"Does this feel good?" She whispered, moving her mouth to her girlfriend's ear as her fingers now rotated in tight, but light circles. Rachel bit her bottom lip and nodded her head as she arched into the blonde's touch. "Tell me."

"So good." Quinn smiled broader before she lowered her mouth and nipped at her neck. "No." Rachel ordered, slapping her hand on top of Quinn's as she tried to move the soaked material to the side and finally feel her girlfriend. "That's a safety net."

"Really?" Quinn asked as she smiled down at the panting brunette as she returned to the light massages. "Because I could have sworn they were underwear."

"They are a guarantee that we wont have sex."

For some strange reason, this time when Quinn was reminded of what she was not allowed to do, it was arousing, sending heavy pulses between her legs as she thought about what she was so close to and yet so far away from. "But it would feel better if-"

"No." Rachel stated again, pushing down on Quinn's hand to apply more pressure. "Just do this."

Quinn watched and followed instructions, pressing firmly with each twist of her fingers as Rachel closed her eyes and rocked her hips in time with her. The blonde watched as her girlfriend got herself off by using her fingers instead of her own. And she loved it. Rachel's panties were soaked through, drenched, and Quinn's were nearly the same as she listened to the brunette's moans as she rotated her hip movements, speeding up and slowing down, pressing harder on Quinn's hand.

"This is so hot." Rachel nodded her head frantically in agreement as she screwed her eyes shut tight and rocked faster, leaving Quinn dying to feel her without that thin barrier. "Baby, please. Let me feel you." She whispered, licking her lips as she watched. "I need to feel you." Rachel still didn't answer so Quinn sat up on her knees, keeping her fingers moving while she ran the other hand up and down the outside of the diva's thigh. She moved it all the way up and lightly tugged on Rachel's underwear to pull them off her hip but stopped, shaking her head at herself. Rachel needed to trusted her, she needed to prove that trust. So instead she focused her attention on kneading the brunette's leg as her moans grew louder and her breath grew shorter and more frantic.

"So close."

Hearing those words sent excitement throughout the cheerleader who then moved to lay back down next to her girlfriend. The change in position allowed her a better angle and more pressure. She moved her fingers firmly and quickly, pushing through the burning in her muscles as Rachel's moans went higher in pitch and volume until her breath caught and her mouth hung open. Quinn feared that Rachel had held her breath for so long that she would pass out but suddenly her head snapped back against the pillow and her body violently shook as deep animalistic groans echoed off the bare basement walls. Quinn was hypnotized as the brunette's chest heaved and shook soft moans escaped as she continued to roll her hips against Quinn's fingers, riding out the very last wave of her orgasm.

"You have definetly done that before." Quinn stated, wide eyed and aroused beyond her wildest imagination.

"Not with any help." Rachel responded with a shy smile. "You're the first to ever touch me there, even if it was through my panties."

"Which you might as well throw away." The blonde stated as she ran her fingers down the soaked material again.

"Thank you."

"For what? I didn't really do anything."

The diva smiled at her softly. "It was more for what you didn't do. Thank you for not pushing."

"Oh." Quinn dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry for even trying as much as I did. I just... I wanted to, you know, to feel you."

"I know. And now I also know that I can trust you next time." She stated with a shy smile and called for Quinn with her arms. "But first... I think we have some unfinished business from last night. Don't you?"

The blonde hovered over her, her hands braced on each side of Rachel's head as the brunette's hands ran gently down her body. They stopped at Quinn's belt and began to unhook it while Rachel looked intently into the cheerleaders eager hazel eyes. "I think we just might. And after what I just witness... it wont take much."

Rachel smirked before Quinn lowered her mouth to hers in a hard, sensual kiss and her fingers worked blindly at her jean's button and zipper.

"Quinn, I'm home early!"

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." The younger blonde spit out as she pulled her mouth away from Rachel's when she heard her mother's distant voice.

"What was that, Sweety?"

"Nothing, Mom!"

Rachel smiled adoringly as Quinn pouted, sitting back up on her knees to button her pants and fasten her belt. "I'm sorry."

"Not nearly as sorry as I am." She grumbled back.

"Maybe we could head over to my house and try this again."

"Are your dads home?"

"Not until after five."

Quinn thought about it for a second. A split second, and then smiled wickedly. "Sounds great. Let me just see why she's home early and we can go."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: A little short but this is a discussion chapter for sure. I'm just setting everything up for when school starts. Each girl is living in their own head at the moment but still trying to push forward with what they know they want in the end. It's like reality in some high school relationships were you want someone, you want to be with someone, but you just aren't capable of giving yourself to that person because you still have that 'the world revolves around me' mentality going on. They can see the other is hurting, but still worry too much about their own pain to really do anything about it.**

**I'm thinking the average length of the chapters is going to change. I don't want to force the writing on this one. So instead of 4-5,000 words. It will be between 2,500-4,000 words from now on. A little bit longer than this one. Keep those reviews coming. It's interesting to see who's side you are on and who you feel sorry for the most. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy!**

**Oh, can I just say one more thing? Holy Shit! Twelve chapters and nearly 400 reviews! That's insane! Thank you all so much for your support. You are amazing.**

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"You feel bad, don't you?" Rachel asked from her seat in the passenger's side of Quinn's car as the blonde looked out her window before turning to go to Rachel's house.

"Yes. My mom isn't feeling well because she's working herself to death while my useless, alcoholic of a father sits comfortably on his thrown in a new mansion." The brunette bit her lips between her teeth and tucked a blonde strand of hair behind her girlfriend's ear, earning a faint smile from Quinn who tilted her head and kissed Rachel's palm. "But I'll be fine. I have you to distract me from reality."

"And I will gladly do that as soon as we get to my house."

"Thank God, because I am dying here. I mean, how many times have we gotten so close and... What the Hell?" Quinn's words died off as she pulled up to Rachel's house to see the oddity of Santana Lopez sitting on the trunk of her car in the diva's driveway. "What is she doing here?"

"I have no idea." Rachel confessed, removing her hand from Quinn's neck before the Latina could see. "I didn't even think she knew where I lived."

"She does now." The blonde mumbled as she put her car in park and shut it off, holding her friend's burning gaze through the windshield.

"Now this is just sad and even sort of pathetic that I have to track you down at the midget's house." Santana stated, hopping off of her car as Quinn stepped out of hers. "I mean, seriously, what the Hell is wrong with you this summer? Did you slip on melted ice cream and crack your head on the floor or something?"

"Perhaps Quinn has finally seen the error-"

"Shut it, Dwarf. I'm not talking to you and I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

"Hey." Quinn protested softly as Santana held up her hand to Rachel's face, silencing her.

"Hey what?" The Latina spit back. "You can keep her like some sort of little science project all you want, but I am not going to change anything I do because of it." Quinn wanted to slap the girl right then but took a deep breath and held it instead, tucking her hands into her back pockets just in case. She needed to somehow get Santana on her side, not push her away even further. "Why is it that if I want to see you, I have to come here? You're never at home, you wont answer your phone or respond to my texts. I don't know what you are playing at, but I'm not liking it."

The blonde hesitated, holding Santana's eyes to try and get an understanding of what she was really saying. "Hey, Rachel? Can I meet you inside?" Rachel looked a little shocked at the dismissal but nodded her head and slowly walked into her house.

Santana waited until the door clicked shut before continuing. "What are you doing with her, Q?"

"Why are you so concerned about it?"

She scoffed. "I'm not. I just don't want people thinking I'm being replaced by an argyle wearing freak." Quinn clinched her jaw but hoped Santana didn't see it.

"You're not being replaced."

"I know that. Especially not by her of all people. But that isn't going to keep everyone else from talking. That creepy Jacob kid in particular. He may be the only one at the school who could drag you down worse than her by the way. Do you want to call him up and be best buddies too?"

Inside, Rachel watched through her living room window fearing the worst. She knew on some level at least, that Quinn needed Santana's approval and was walking a very fine line right now. Not only was the blonde eliminating a harassment target, the Latina's favorite at that, but she was spending more time with her as well. And while Rachel loved knowing that she was winning at something, she also knew it could possibly cause her to lose in the end. She backed away from the window and waited as she saw Quinn leave the other brunette and begin the trek to her house. She could see the blonde's mind racing away and it only fueled her panic further.

"So?" She asked as Quinn walked in and shut the door behind her.

"So... I think I might have to adjust my plan a little bit. It might take a while longer to convince her that she's not being replaced. I might also change my plan on how to go about doing it."

"What do you mean?" The diva asked, knowing that look. She wasn't going to like the answer.

"Well, I'm hanging out with Santana tomorrow." Rachel's heart sank. She knew that Quinn couldn't spend every second of every day with her, but at the same time, she knew they only had three more days until school started and the Latina was taking up one of them. "I need to assure her that her social status isn't in jeopardy. And..."

"And?"

"When school starts, we need to lay low a bit."

Rachel paused, shaking her head. "I thought we were going to lay low. Just be casual friends like you decided."

Quinn looked down to the ground between them. "A little lower than that."

The diva kicked herself, knowing this had been coming but not allowing herself to see it. "So you can't even be my friend anymore."

"Rachel-"

"No." The diva held up her index finger and took a step back as Quinn moved forward to hold her. "I need a minute to try and calm my typically reflexive emotional response." The blonde dropped one of her out stretched arms but continued to shuffle forward until the other touched her girlfriend's arm. Rachel's anger seemed to fade a little bit with the contact and Quinn stepped closer until she held the shorter girl loosely in her arms.

"Rachel, I'm not saying that I'm breaking up with you or anything. I just... it's going to take a little bit longer than I was expecting. I had tried to work out this four week plan, but it's just not happening with the amount of protest Santana is putting up."

Quinn was missing Rachel's point of frustration. It wasn't really the fact that it was going to take longer to come out. It was the fact that once again, Quinn was able to coupe without having Rachel by her side every day while the brunette couldn't stand the thought of not having Quinn. Rachel was easily replaced by a reputation, nothing special to risk it all for. Quinn was willing to sacrifice one for the other, Rachel just happened to be the one that would be sacrificed. And knowing that hurt.

"I'm doing this for us." The blonde tried to reassure her.

_No. You're doing this for you, giving me no choice but to follow or spend my year completely alone and unhappy._ "Right."

~/~/~/~

Needless to say, the mood had pretty much been killed. But Quinn was going to try to lighten it up again anyway. They had been laying on Rachel's bed, side by side, discussing music and college choices. With Quinn being undecided in her major and desired school, Rachel was trying to gently list options in the New England states... primarily New York... and close to Julliard. That had moved the diva's mood in a happier note, allowing Quinn to roll over on her side and nuzzle into her neck, following each mumbled response with a light kiss on her cheek or neck, maybe a quick suckle of her ear lobe.

"So, I have a question."

"And what is that?" The diva asked as she watched Quinn play with her fingers, their hands hovering just over Rachel's stomach.

"Well, it's not really a question, but more of a comment."

"Okay."

"You seemed really comfortable with the progression of our relationship... you know, physically." Quinn rolled her eyes at her own nervous and intertwined their fingers, resting them down on her girlfriend's stomach before hiding her face in the shorter girl's neck. "I know we aren't moving to sex any time soon, and I think that is actually best, but... how were you so comfortable with what we have been doing or... trying to do?"

"See, that was a question." Rachel teased and earned a nip on her neck in response. "I attempt to never enter a situation without some level of preparation or at least the slightest form of a knowledge bases to work off of."

The blonde pulled her head back and looked at the side of the brunette's face. "You researched it? How?"

"It's called the internet, Quinn."

"They have, like, instructional websites?"

Rachel couldn't help but beam. "Not exactly, though... I'm fairly certain they do if one was willing to shuffle through the numerous pages of other equally informative, and possibly more gratifying, websites that are strategically placed to be viewed first." Quinn just stared at her, still lost and still looking for an answer. "Porn sites."

"You watch porn?"

"I research. That just happens to be one of my sources." The blonde stayed next to her, motionless, staring at her in disbelief. "I mean, you're going to be benefiting from it when we do reach that point of our physically relationship without any sudden mood changes or parental interruptions, are you not?"

"Well... yeah, but..."

"But what?"

Quinn pulled her hand away from Rachel's and rolled over on her back, staring at the ceiling as she pouted. "I don't know. I guess I'm just... uncomfortable with my girlfriend looking at other naked women."

Rachel tried to hide the smirk on her face and the bitterness in her voice when she threw the blonde's words back at her. "But I'm only doing it for us."

Quinn wanted to say she was hurt and now felt like she wasn't enough for Rachel causing her need to watch porn, but the diva's words seemed to ring familiar."So I guess asking you not to is a little out of line."

_No. _"Just a little."

The two laid there in silence as the awkwardness set it. Quinn played with her own fingers as she debated in her head what to do or say. Should she get up and leave, allowing Rachel to work through whatever resentment issues she was having right now, or stay and try and talk it out, risking make things worse between them. "Do you understand why I'm needing to do this like I've planned?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and looked away before feeling a wave of guilt wash over her. Quinn had already lost enough. She didn't want to be the cause of her losing the last thing she still had some control over. "Yes. I understand it, but that doesn't mean I like it. Especially now that it's taking longer."

The blonde nodded her head in acceptance. She didn't really like the new plan either, but it was the only option she could find that would still allow her to maintain her popularity and have Rachel, maybe even bringing Rachel up the social ladder still. "I'm sorry."

"There's not much for you to be sorry for. You're doing what you have to do and I'm just making my decisions accordingly."

"Right." Quinn knew it wasn't fair but still couldn't help fut feel this cautionary plan was needed in some way. She didn't like hurting Rachel but she needed to secure a few things for herself first.

"So how is this new plan actually going to work? Besides you not talking to me for a week. I mean, this plan doesn't involve slushies, does it?"

Quinn turned her head sharply and furrowed her brow. "Do you really think that little of me?"

Rachel growled in frustration and rolled over onto her stomach. "No. I don't. I just... I don't know. I want to support you on this but I just feel like I'm the one being left behind in it all. You're getting everything that you want and I'm being told I have to give more."

"I'm giving too, you know. I'm risking a lot."

"For being who you are? For being attached to me? You have to make me popular before you can be seen with me?"

"No. Rachel. God!" Quinn sat up and ran her hands over her face. "It's not making you popular because there is something wrong with you. It would just be easier for people to accept it if that was the case. This is about making it a smooth transition. I mean, do you know how many slushies you would have to worry about if we just showed up Monday hand in hand?"

"I know that. I do." Rachel stated dropping her head down into her hands, trying to calm the excited emotions in the room. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, beginning her next question in a softer tone. "My question is whether or not you are worried about the slushies because of me and my feelings, or because it's also you who is getting hit with them."

"Why can't it be both?"

Why couldn't it be both? Why was Rachel so set on it being one or the other. "I guess it can be. I guess I'm just scared of being left behind again."

Quinn rolled over, gently putting her chin on the diva's shoulder. "I'm trying everything I can to speed this up so you don't have that fear nagging in your mind." Rachel wanted to trust in that simple statement, but she still couldn't help but notice that Quinn never said she shouldn't fear it happening either.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Step forward. May not seem like it at first, but it is. I think it might change some of your opinions on whose side you are on as well. We shall see though. School starts soon! I'm not sure if I will just jump into it next chapter or not, but it is coming soon. And I think I will be right on track with the stories length of 20-25 chapters. Probably closer to 20. After this fic wraps I will take a bit of a break, devoting my time to catching up the prequel to BWYDT. And once that really gets going and near its end, I might do a one shot that was requested... a non-Faberry pairing... :O**

**Just a reminder that this story does not follow the path of the show completely. Mainly because the show is currently in the middle of their Junior year, the story is just before their Senior year. I didn't want to spoil too many things for those who have yet to be able to watch season two. There may be a slip up here or there for what has happened so far in the season, but I will most likely not be using anything that happens in the show once it starts back up in February. So this story will differ in some areas while being very similar in others.**

**Loved reading what everyone was thinking and whose side they are one. Like I said above, that may sway so I'm still interested in what you think and feel. Let me know. Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing. You are the reason why I keep writing. Thank you and enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"So when are we going to talk about it?" Santana asked as she sat down at a table in the mall's food court across from Quinn.

"Talk about what?"

"The one thing that you have done everything you can to avoid talking about to the point that it is starting to piss me off. The dwarf."

"She's not a dwarf. Now stop calling her that."

Santana dropped her brow and shook her head. "This. What the hell is this? I mean, I get that you two aren't enemies anymore since Finn dumped you after finding out from _the dwarf_, that Puck was the one that knocked you up, but how did she suddenly become your best friend and I get left in the dust."

"Firstly, when was the last time you and I have ever done anything remotely 'friendly' for each other? Ever since I got 'knocked up' you have only ever cared about topping me. And that's the only reason why you are so scared of whatever Rachel and I are doing. You fear falling again."

Santana held up her hand. "Whatever you and Rachel are _doing_? What does that mean?"

Quinn froze for a second and then recovered with a bit of a shrug. "I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready to call it a friendship or not." God, she suddenly felt sick. She knew she was suppose to be playing this down, but flat out denying Rachel as even a friend made her skin crawl.

"So you'll hang out with her all summer, but she's not your friend?" Santana asked disbelieving.

"I didn't hang out with her all summer. Most the time our interactions were forced." Quinn slowly looked around, a little afraid that maybe Rachel was around and she surely didn't want her to hear this. "But, I don't know, after having to put up with her for so long and finally getting her to at least limit her rants..." Quinn shrugged and tapped her fingers on the table. "She wasn't that bad." _She was amazing actually. Intelligent, quick witted, caring, still a little full of herself but sometimes that can be cute._

"And why are you still hanging around her?"

Quinn wanted to shrug again, but that would have been a give away that there was something she wasn't saying, so instead, she had to answer. "Like I told you at the theater, maybe if I can mold her a little more, she might not drive us all crazy this year. I figure a little work now could save us some jail time later. We wont have to strangle her or tie her up in a closet with tape over her mouth."

Santana pursed her lips and reclined back in her chair, studying the blonde. "Why didn't you tell me you moved?"

Those hazel eyes shot up to meet Santana's. When did she find that piece of information out? "I didn't tell anyone. Don't think you're anything special."

"Does she know?"

The blonde lifted a fry to her mouth and nodded her head, holding Santana's challenging gaze. "She had to drive me home after Puck's party. I was too drunk."

"And you didn't think to ask me because...?"

"Because you were probably too busy with Brittany or Finn or some other random person. She was there, so she drove me home."

"What were you two doing yesterday?"

"What is with all the questions?" Quinn snapped, tired of trying to balance the truth with the lies and misdirection. "What is your problem with me being around her?"

"I don't like her." The Latina stated coolly, as if it was obvious. "She's short. She's annoying. She talks too much. She has no fashion sense-"

"I've fixed that."

"Whatever." Santana waved her off as she turned her attention to her own food. "She just thinks that she is so much better than everyone else. It's annoying and I just want to slap that stupid as beaming grin off of her face and then shove it down her throat, hoping she chokes on it."

Quinn's jaw clinched tightly as she took a deep breath and let it out through her nose. "Jealous much?"

Santana scoffed and then started laughing as she looked around in amusement. "What do I have to be jealous of when it comes to Rachel frickin Berry?"

The blonde shrugged but kept her eyes on her own food. "Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that she is getting out of here at the end of the year and we probably aren't."

"Speak for yourself. I'm heading to California."

"Sure you are. To do what exactly?" This time she lifted her eyes to watch Santana squirm in her answer. Then she remembered that she was suppose to be getting the brunette on her side, but making her hate Rachel more. "_I'm _jealous that she is pretty much guaranteed a place in New York."

"Maybe she'll take you as her little lap dog now that she has you wrapped around your finger."

"And maybe if you tried to be nice to her, she might take you too."

"Ha! Like I would want to go anywhere with her." Santana spit back, laughing in Quinn's face. "You are becoming soft, Q. You wont even last the full year as head cheerleader. I'll be getting my spot back soon enough."

"I guess we will see."

"There's no seeing about it. I want that spot and I plan on getting it. What you have to decide is if your little pet is worth ruining your chances of hanging on to it. She's going to drag you down." Santana stated, leaning forward. Quinn knew that Santana and Rachel had issues and always would. Whether it be over boys or jealousy, they couldn't stand each other.

"Then I thought you would have supported my friendship with her. I mean, you want my spot and she'll drag me down..."

"But I don't want her to have any friends either."

Quinn felt like she was kicked in the chest. She knew Santana could be mean, but never thought that she would be flat out cruel. "Why not?"

The Latina leaned back again and shrugged. "Because that's what she wants more than anything. Probably even more than that place in New York City you were talking about."

With that statement, Quinn knew the plan had changed again. Santana was too stubborn and too set on hurting Rachel at all costs, including giving up the one thing she wanted herself, just so Rachel wouldn't have a friend. Quinn was going to have to work around Santana, gaining the general acceptance first, but still without pissing the Latina off so much that she would work to undo Quinn's progress. The blonde tried not to sigh as she thought about all the work she still had left to do.

~/~/~/~

"Hey, Sweety." Bryan greeted as Rachel descended the stairs and walked over to him on the couch. She curled up in a ball, resting her head on his leg. "So you and Quinn aren't doing anything today?"

"No." She answered back, sounding absolutely pathetic. Today had been a reminder of what it felt like to be alone and did nothing to ease her fears of how this was all going to play out. "She's spending the day with Santana."

"Well, she does have other friends you know. She can't spend every second with you."

Rachel rolled her eyes. He wasn't exactly helping. "I know that. I just... I don't know..."

Bryan arched an eyebrow at his daughter's loss of words and folded up the newspaper her was reading. He tapped her on the shoulder and motioned for her to sit up. They both pivoted towards each other but Rachel kept her eyes dropped while her father studied her, trying to detect what it was that she wasn't sharing. Fitting with his corny personality, he removed his glasses, cleaned them and put them back on, indicating that maybe they were dirty and that's why he couldn't see it.

"Dad..."

"What has you down today?"

She shrugged but he wasn't having it, waiting until she answered. "I just feel that maybe once school starts, that Quinn will change her mind about being... my friend."

He nodded slowly, obviously already having thought about this himself. I mean, this was his daughter and one of the girls who use to torment her. Of course he had worries that kept him up at night. "Have you talked to her about it?"

"I have."

"And?"

Rachel debated as to how much she would explain. If she was going to get any advice, she needed to be open, but she didn't want to out their relationship either. She was certain her father's would understand, but like Quinn had said during one of their many conversations on the topic. Once one person knows, everyone will know. "She wants to stay friends, but... thinks that a progressive display of such would be best."

"A progressive display of a friendship with you?"

Rachel nodded her head, seeing the disapproval in her father's eyes already. "She wants to, in a sense, work on bringing me up in status. It will, however, take time to do so."

"And she can't just be your friend from day one?"

Yep. He no longer liked the blonde and Rachel was kicking herself. "It's not that she doesn't want to be. She would just rather bring me to her level than be... brought down to mine."

Bryan's heart broke as he watched his daughter fidget with her fingers in shame. He knew she wasn't popular, far from it by any definition. But it still hurt him to hear her sound so ashamed of herself. "Sweety." He said, placing a hand on her leg. "Let me be honest with you right now. You have one year left. One year and then you are going to head to New York and become a big star, never once looking back on any of these people. Now I know that Quinn has become a friend to you over these last few weeks, but someone who is ashamed of being seen with you as who you are... they aren't worth it."

Rachel wanted to agree and under any other circumstances would have. But things were more complicated than that. She really, really liked Quinn and was fairly certain that the blonde felt the same. He also didn't know about the other hardships that she was dealing with. He wouldn't be able to give accurate advice without knowing at least some of those things. "It's not that simple. You see, Quinn's family life has pretty much fallen apart. Her parents have divorced. Her mother is struggling. Her father is beating on their door at night until the cops come. She's lost her status as a legitimate Fabray in town. Probably secretly blaming herself for it because she got pregnant which lead to the down fall, though that is completely ridiculous in my opinion. But she's lost everything else. The only thing she has left is her status at school."

Bryan nodded his head, trying not to panic about the part where Rachel mentioned Mr. Fabray and the police. "So what you are saying is..."

"She's scared because her life has changed so much. All of which she has had no control over."

"But her popularity, she does?" Rachel nodded her head. "I see. That does prove to be a bit more complicated. However, I still stand by what I said. I know you care for her, but you have to look out for yourself. You can still be there to support her in her struggles, just don't put yourself in a vulnerable position by expecting her to be able to do the same."

~/~/~/~

Quinn cracked Rachel's bedroom door open and peeked through to see her standing in front of her desk, oblivious to her presence. With a bit of a devilish smile glued on her face, she slid the door open a bit more and stepped inside, quickly moving to where her girlfriend was lost in thought.

"Gottcha!" The blonde cried out as she wrapped her arms around the back of the diva. Partially to make that contact she had been missing and partially to keep Rachel from possibly hitting her in her surprise.

"Oh my goodness, Quinn! You scared me."

"That was kind of the point." Quinn whispered, holding the slowly relaxing brunette in her arms. "But I'm sorry."

"No you're not. You enjoyed that far too much judging by the grin on your face so don't even try to pretend like you didn't." Rachel leaned her head back oh her girlfriend's shoulder as Quinn kissed her cheek. "So... how did it go with Santana?"

"Slow and steady. She sees you as a serious threat so if I keep pushing for her to accept you, she never will."

"And why do we need her approval so badly again?" The brunette asked, pulling out of Quinn's arms. She turned around to face her, arms crossed over her chest, lips slightly pouting.

"Because. I can snap my fingers and someone runs to do something, someone will follow my instructions. She snaps her fingers and they stop, trying to figure out who to follow. We are constantly back and forth in control of the social hierarchy. If this is going to go smoothly for us, then I need her on my side." _Or at least see that everyone else is willing to be on my side. _Quinn was going to start playing two games at the same time. Convince the masses so she could convince Santana, while catering enough to the Latina's ego that she didn't disturb the masses.

Rachel could understand that. Santana did things just to spite Quinn and this whole thing with Rachel would be her prime target. "And after today, she sees me as less of a threat?"

"I think so." _Mainly because I denied that I was even a real friend to you._

"Okay." Rachel lead into her next question, walking around the blonde who turned to watch as she paced. "So if there was improvement over a single day, then why do we have to start the year off as enemies again? Why not friends?"

"We aren't starting the year off as enemies." Quinn corrected her. "Rachel, I'm never going to be like that to you again. I'm not going to slushie you. I'm not going to give you those nicknames. Nothing like that. I just..." She stopped and thought how best to explain what she was needing and not needing to do. "I wont do those things. I just have to kind of pick and choose when to scold Santana for calling you a dwarf or midget. If I get it in there enough time without pissing her off, then she'll see that I'm being serious and in some small way, start to accept that her whining isn't going to change anything."

Rachel dropped her eyes and thought about it for a minute. It did make sense and it wasn't like things were going to be like they were last year. Quinn wasn't going boldly announce their difference in social status like she had before. And that was her first small step. Making everyone see that she wasn't picking on Rachel anymore. Then she could move forward. But at the same time, it still hurt that she was being left out in the cold while Quinn played her part. "I think I understand a little bit better."

"But you still don't like it." The blonde stated, deflating a little.

Rachel threw her hands up and let the fall ungracefully in frustration with the yo-yo sensations she was feeling. "Sometimes I don't. And sometimes it seems just fine. It's just that you have this list of reasons and needs and desires to justify your thoughts and actions. Some of which I understand completely, like wanting to make this as smooth of a transition as possible or the fact that you might not be ready to come out to the entire school. Those I get, I understand, and I support as a caring girlfriend. But at the same time, I'm not really asking you to come out right away. I'm not asking for you to pledge your undying love and deep felt remorse for your past transgressions or anything absurdly romantic like that." Quinn arched an eyebrow but Rachel just ignored it. "I just want you to be my friend and not have to be ashamed of it."

"I'm not ashamed of being your friend, Rachel." She stated, stepping to the brunette and taking her hands in hers. "Or your girlfriend for that matter, but it's not just about popularity. If I come out at school, before I come out to my mother..." Quinn just shook her head. "She'll know before I even get home to tell her."

"Then why don't you just talk to her?"

"I can't. She might freak out."

"And she might not." The brunette argued back.

"Rachel, if she does and she kicks me out again-"

"You can stay here if that were the case. My dads will understand. We have a spare room even."

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out slowly, touched by her girlfriend's quick acceptance of having her live with them. It showed that Rachel cared for her as a person, wanting her to feel that she would always have a place to go. But it wasn't the point she was trying to make. "Rachel, it's not about having a roof over my head or a bed to sleep in. It's about having that place where I belong. I belong at home. My home with my mother, you know, my family. Trust me when I say that no matter how willing people are to take you in, you will always feel like a burden and out of place."

Rachel frowned. Not at Quinn's dismissal of her suggestion but because she hadn't thought of it that way.

"Just try this plan with me. If it doesn't work out or it starts taking too long, then I am willing to revisit the just coming out idea. I just-"

Rachel lunged forward and captured her girlfriend's lips with her, holding her in the connection until the tension left the blonde's shoulders and she returned the kiss. That was what she needed to hear to ease her fears. That Quinn wasn't going to keep delaying this over and over, just out of fear.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Start off by saying that I think you will find a little of what you are looking for in this chapter and a bit more of it in the next. I am also anticipating Monday's chapter to be pretty long. I didn't really want to break the two up, but it would have ended up being like... 7,000+ words. It would flow better as one, but for my sanity, it's going to be two.**

**This chapter has tiny miniature steps in it, mostly forward. Monday's chapter has some serious slap you in the face leaps instead of baby steps. As for positive or negative... you'll just have to read to see. Keep the reviews and comments coming because like I said, this is the first 'angsty' fic I've ever tried and it helps to know what you all are liking and not liking. I'm learning as I go.**

**Also, jumping into the action, school starts in this chapter. But you only get a tiny little glimpse into it. Monday's chapter will be a much larger view of it all. Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

Quinn couldn't tell if it was the rush from knowing she was doing something she wasn't suppose to be doing, or the anticipation of how Rachel was going to react, but she couldn't get the grin off of her face as she searched the ground for a few small pebbles. Biting her bottom lip she took aim and tossed one at Rachel's bedroom window. After a few seconds she tossed another. She knew it was corny and cliché, but that only meant that the brunette would love it. Right before she threw the third she saw her girlfriend appear and lowered her hand.

Rachel opened the window and leaned out, looking at the beaming blonde in confusion. "What are you doing? You are allowed to ring the doorbell, you know."

"I do." Quinn answered lightly. "But I know your dads probably wont let you out this late when school starts tomorrow." The brunette pulled her head back quickly and Quinn could tell her mind was racing as to why she wanted her to come out at nine o'clock at night. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"It's a surprise."

Rachel pursed her lips in debate. "If by chance you haven't noticed, I'm not normally the type to disobey my fathers and they do have a strict curfew in place with tomorrow being the first day of school as you have already stated."

"I know." Quinn stated plainly, humoring her girlfriend. "But I also figured you weren't the type to turn down a romantic surprise that started with pebbles tossed at a window and that adrenaline rush of lovers over coming what is attempting to keep them apart."

"Firstly, you and I aren't lovers."

The blonde smiled at the protest she was putting up, never being one to give up without a fight either. "And secondly?"

Rachel paused and tried to hold back her smile. "Secondly... if I fall climbing down, you have to catch me."

"The ground is soft."

"Quinn Fabray!" She whispered harshly

"Rachel Berry! Hurry up. I have to get you home before you turn into a pumpkin or something, right?"

"If you are referring to my status as a princess..." She cut off her own words as she crawled out of her bedroom window and looked around to see how to progress from there.

"Use the lattice." Quinn suggested, moving down the length of the house to where a tall lattice stood covered in ivy.

"Have you debated this before or something?" Quinn laughed lightly and bit her bottom lip as Rachel started to descend the wooden frame and then quickly returned to the roof. "It would also be polite if you were to move so you weren't looking up my skirt as I did this."

"You're killing my fun." Rachel stood there, unmoving, until Quinn turned her back. "I can't exactly catch you like this."

"Then I guess it's a good thing the ground is soft." The diva mumbled with one last hop before she stood on the ground and brushed her clothes off. "You can turn around now." Quinn smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss before grabbing her girlfriend's hand and sprinting off across the neighbor's yard. "Where are we going?"

"To my car. I parked it two doors down. Then... a surprise."

Once the pair were in the car and two blocks away, Rachel began to realize exactly what she had just done. She snuck out of the house. She was off with her father's in the dark about her current location. All she could think about was if something went wrong and no one knew where they were. Or how much trouble she would get in when she got back, had they decided to give her a pep talk about the first day of school. That fear and anxiety shifted slightly as Quinn pulled up to the McKinley High parking lot.

"You brought me to school? Couldn't you have just waiting until tomorrow?" Quinn looked at her with a smile as she unfastened her seat belt and got out of the car, Rachel following closely behind her. "Where are we going?"

"The football field." The brunette stopped suddenly. Quinn turned around and approached her, calmly taking her hand and easing her to continue. "Come on. I know you'll love it."

"But how are you planning on getting through the gates?"

The blonde held up her hand, showing a brass key between her fingers. "You know, there are certain perks about being head cheerleader." She smiled and started to run, pulling her girlfriend along in her excitement until they reached the gate. Rachel could already see where they were headed. Quinn had a blanket and a bag laid out on the fifty yard line, waiting for them.

"You set up a picnic... in the middle of the football field?" She asked as the gate creaked open and she followed the taller girl through.

Quinn blushed a little and took Rachel's hand again as they slowly made their way to the blanket. "Not exactly. I mean, it's nine o'clock at night. I figured you would have already eaten by now, so it's just some fruit to munch on, but..." She trailed off as they both knelt down on the blanket.

Rachel watched her as she pulled a few Tupperware containers from the bag and laid them out. Each containing a different type of fruit. "But what?"

"But.. I knew that you weren't looking forward to this plan of mine... not being able to be around each other as much as we would like. Due to restrictions as well as cheerio practice, but I thought that you might like this. So we could spend a little bit more time together."

"That's thoughtful." Rachel stated, leaning forward and kissing Quinn's cheek before getting more comfortable as the blonde called her over to sit next to her. "But why here exactly?"

Quinn shrugged and popped a grape into her mouth as she looked around the illuminated stadium. "This could be ours. This school... you and me. It could be ours. We could be standing right here in front of the whole student body and not having to worry about anything."

The brunette smiled out of the side of her mouth as she watched Quinn as the blonde watched their surroundings. "I'm not really dating you for the popularity, you know. It doesn't really matter that much to me anymore."

Quinn hesitated but never looked at Rachel. "To be honest, it doesn't mean that much to me either." Rachel had to stop herself from asking a million questions as to why she was going to drag them through this if she didn't care about being popular. "The popularity and attention is nice, but it's more of the power that comes with it that I'm wanting. The control over what happens... and what doesn't." She finished, turning her hazel eyes to Rachel's. "You're going to get slushied. All year long perhaps. But if I'm still on top, I can stop that."

"So, is this whole plan really about helping me then?"

"That's part of it. The other part is just me being scared to lose it all."

Rachel nodded her head, thankful for the honesty, and hoped that she could find the strength to return it. She paused a moment longer to eat a strawberry and then let out a quick breath. "But what if that meant losing me?"

Quinn's eyes snapped to hers, full of concern. "I... I thought you were okay with this."

"I am. To a degree. Like I have mentioned previously, I understand why you are doing what you are doing, but I do not agree with it nor do I particularly care for it. I am simply asking that if I could no longer handle being treated as less than a friend by my _secret_ girlfriend... what would mean more to you?"

"You can't seriously be asking me that." Rachel remained silent and motionless. "Rachel... There are so many other things that intertwine in that. To stop hiding isn't just me showing the school that I like you. It's coming out in a town that doesn't accept it and then my mother..."

"I know it's a lot. That's why I'm not actually pushing for you to do it. I am simply curious as to what your choice would be."

It wasn't a hard choice for Quinn to make, but making it would mean Rachel would hold her to it. Not that she had plans on changing her mind, but she knew the diva. Rachel had a habit of knowing if something was coming, then pushing for it. If Quinn told her that she would pick Rachel over her popularity, she was certain by the end of the first week, the brunette would have already given her an ultimatum. The thought of having to abandon her safety net in just that short amount of time was terrifying to her. "I like you Rachel. I don't want to give you up. I mean, we've only been together for a week, but I _really_ like you. You listen to me and my over analyzed plans to cater to my own insecurities. You don't judge me for anything I have done or am currently doing that you don't care for. You know, you let me be me and seem content with it."

Rachel nodded her head slowly and dropped her eyes. "But?"

"I want to be with you and see where this goes. I'm just not ready to do it publicly. Give me time. It's not about the popularity so much as it is about putting myself out there. You have to understand that. I know you find it easier than most, but it still has to be scary for you."

It was. No matter how professional she tried to appear, she always felt the nerves come on when she knew the spotlight was on her for good or worse. "I understand."

"But you don't like it."

"Quinn, I'm not going to force you to come out."

"But I have to if I want to be with you?"

Rachel bit her bottom lip, fighting her impulsive answer of yes. She needed someone who was confident and sure of themselves... someone she use to think Quinn was in many ways. "In time, maybe. I'm following your lead until you are ready... or until I can't anymore. Whichever comes first."

"Then I hope I am ready long before you lose patience." The diva smiled at the unexpected statement. It wasn't Quinn saying that she would be ready in a week or a month, but that she was wanting to be ready in order to make Rachel happy.

~/~/~/~

**First day of Senior year:**

"Hey, Rachel."

"Good morning, Finn."

He waited as she opened her locker, ignoring his existence after their quick greeting. "Are you okay?"

"No. I am not. And no, I don't want to talk about it. But thank you for your concern." She was already not liking the school year. Knowing that Quinn wasn't going to be right next to her was one thing. Seeing the blonde meet her eyes across the parking lot and turn away almost instantly was another. It had hurt and the sting was still noticable.

"Oooookay. Well, I was actually hoping to talk to you about what I said at Puck's party last weekend." She didn't say anything and kept organizing her locker. "I meant it." He assured her. "I know that I have a tendency of screwing things up between us a lot, but I really think we can make this work. I want to try again, Rachel."

The petite brunette let out a sigh and shut her locker before looking up to the silently hopeful jock. "Look, Finn... I like you. You can be a sweet guy, but I'm just tired of trying. You and I aren't meant to be together. Trust me."

He pulled his head back. "But... I thought you would be happy about this. You've been stalking me for years and I want to try this again."

"I understand that, but I don't. I'm sorry. I just want to be friends."

"Are you dating someone else?" He asked in a hushed voice, looking around to see if anyone was witnessing his dismissal.

"No." _Yes. Kind of... maybe._

"Then why are you brushing me off? You should be jumping at the chance to date the quarterback." He stated opening his hands that were attached to his backpack's shoulder straps in presentation of himself. Quinn, who was shuffling her own books in her locker on the other side of the hall rolled her eyes but kept her head buried. He came with a title, but that was the only thing he had going for him and he seemed to know it. Quinn could offer Rachel more. She came with a title too, but so much more as well. She was smart, able to hold an intelligent conversations. She respected Rachel enough not to lie to her. She enjoyed the brunette's company and didn't mind her rambles even when they did tend to be about herself.

"I'm over trying to be popular, Finn. That struggle wasn't making me happy."

"That's because you were never popular." _Ouch, you ass._ Quinn thought, fighting herself from actually saying anything. "I mean, now that you're dressing kind of normal and stuff, all these guys keep looking at you. You could have what you've always wanted. You could be that 'it' girl."

Rachel glanced to Quinn, the 'it' girl that she wanted, not wanted to be. "I'll pass. But thank you again." Finn opened his mouth to speak again but Rachel cut him off. "Look, I'll see you later. I have to get to class. My fathers do not look too lightly on truancy."

Finn watched as she walked off and once she disappeared behind the corner, he turned his attention to Quinn. "Hey. Do you know what's going on with her? You two were suppose to be best friends over the summer according to Santana."

The blonde shrugged, trying to brush off the jealousy she was feeling already. He was seeking her advice on how to woo her girlfriend. Rachel was hers but she couldn't act like it. "From what I could tell, she's just over your shit."

"My shit? You mean the shit that you helped create?"

"I only played a small role in everything you did to her. I didn't cause you to break up with her so you could date Santana and Brittany. I didn't force you to then sleep with Santana and lie to Rachel about it every single day for months on end. I didn't tell you to get so pissed off that she kissed Puck and break up with her. By the way, how the hell is kissing someone and admitting it worse that lying to someone everyday? Yet she didn't dump your dumb ass." Quinn stated, getting a little aggravated, and admittedly taking some of her frustrations out on the tall boy. Listing all of the things that had hurt Rachel in the past only made her feel more guilty for walking that very thin line with the brunette now.

"Because she knew how sensitive I was after you cheated on me with him."

She slammed her locker door shut. "And you don't think that she was sensitive about you sleeping with Santana after you broke up with her the first time to go on a date with Santana? God, get over yourself. I am so sick of this 'woe is me' act. She doesn't want to date you, accept it. Move on. Go fuck Santana or whatever the hell you want to do."

He scowled at her as she finished up her rant, completely ignoring how out of character this verbal assault was for her. "I liked you better when you hated her." He mumbled under his breath.

"That's because it was easier to make her feel bad when she didn't have someone to agree with her. When she feels bad, you get what you want. Boyfriend of the year, you are." She stated sarcasticly as she turned around and walked away. _Not like I'm much better right now._

"And what about you?" He asked, following closely behind.

"Never said I was." She knew she wasn't.

"Good. Because everyone in this school knows how horrible of a girlfriend you are. Everyone knows that you cheated on me. Everyone knows that you had sex with Puck. Everyone-"

"Knows that I had a baby when I was sixteen. Ya da, ya da, ya da. You're right, Finn. Everyone knows, including me. You aren't getting any points for telling me something I already know. Now go lick your wounds and get over yourself." Quinn walked away and when she saw that Finn didn't follow, she felt kind of proud of herself mixed in with guilt. She stood up for Rachel publicly and it didn't seem that out of place. She just wish Rachel would have seen it.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Alright, done with the baby steps. Here are those 'slap you in the face' leaps I was talking about. Back and forth even. Not all good but not all bad. I hate to tell you all this, but I can already see the end of the fic. Right around 20. (which means next week might be the last week) Sexytimes will work their way in there somewhere I'm sure, but not in this chapter. You must wait a little bit longer at least.**

**This is a longer chapter as well 5,000 words or so. It works nicely by itself but the last one just seemed to be a tease standing alone. So this is the good stuff here. More good stuff to come.**

**Alright, enough rambling. I'll let you get to the story now. Thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing. I still have people subscribing every day. Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy it to the very end.**

**~/~/~/~**

If anything could have marked Rachel's day as good, it was only the fact that Quinn hadn't reverted back to teasing and harassing her. She kept her distance and she kept silent. There was no 'Man Hands' or 'Stubbles'. No new drawings in the bathroom. No more threats about punching her. But now, without that, it was as if the brunette didn't exist in the cheerleader's world. Rachel was a ghost, walking through school, not being seen by anyone. Or at least that's how she felt. Clearly that wasn't the case when she was dropping off her books in her locker at the end of the day and was hit with a surprise slushie facial.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Rachel wiped the stinging liquid from her eyes to see the blurred image of Quinn's back in front of her as the blonde shoved the jock away from stunned brunette. "I-I-I was told that I had to b-because I'm new on the team."

"Who told you?" Quinn demanded to know in her head bitch tone.

Despite the fact that the football player was over a foot taller than the cheerleader, he seemed to cower in her presence. "Santana Lopez told me."

Rachel noticed Quinn's fists clinch at her side. This was the work Quinn was telling her she needed to do before they could come out, but Rachel knew it was never going to work out. Santana hated her, even more now that Quinn was her 'best friend'. This was all just a waste of time until Quinn figured it out as well. "Do you know who I am?" The nervous sophomore nodded his head. "And do you know who Santana is in ranking with me?"

"S-she's your number two."

"Exactly. Number two. Which means when it comes to giving orders like these, she doesn't do _shit_. Berry's off limits by _my_ orders." He nodded his head and took a few steps backwards before he turned and nearly ran down the hall through the students who had gathered at the commotion. It was only then when Quinn realized just how many people were watching her. She tensed, straightening her posture proudly and gave a quick glance to Rachel before moving back to her locker as if nothing happened. This wasn't part of the plan. It needed to be gradual so they didn't get these gawking looks like they were now.

Rachel stood there, still covered in slushie residue as Quinn ignored her existence again. She couldn't understand this girl. She would stand up for her but then ignore her because she realized people were watching, just too keep a front, a slow but steady pace in her plan. Quinn would just let this person she supposedly felt such strong feelings for just stand there, humiliated, because it wasn't in her plan to publicly comfort her just yet. The diva shook her head and began her walk of shame to the bathroom, tears starting to fall before she even got there. She washed the tears down the sink along with the red stained ice chips and didn't even notice someone come in until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She jumped back in fear of the sudden, unexpected presence and pulled roughly away when she realized it was Quinn's hand.

The blonde opened her mouth to speak but then just closed it again, disappointed in herself, but still sure of her plan. She moved to brush a strand of damp hair that was plastered on Rachel's cheek but the brunette slapped her hand away harshly and returned to her work. "Go away." She grumbled.

Quinn felt a sharp stab in her chest at the words. Didn't her actions mean anything to Rachel? She had put herself out there to defend her like that. "Rachel, I-"

"I said go away!"

"But I stood up for you."

"And then you left me, waited for everyone to leave, and then snuck in here so no one saw you. I understand what game you are playing but I am_ not_ enjoying it. You do these things that show me that you care as much as I do, and then you act like you have no idea what's going on. Why are you even standing up for me when you are suppose to hate me so much?"

Quinn's eyes met Rachel's in the mirror as the brunette waited for an answer. "Because I don't hate you. I want to be there for you, but I can't. So I ignore you... but I can't even do that."

"Don't touch me." Rachel warned turning and backing up a step as Quinn took one forward. The blonde stop. "Why, if you are so willing to stand up for me, can't you just admit your feelings for me in front of everyone and this can all be normal? Or just be my friend?"

Quinn shook her head. "I can't. I can't lose everything again. I can't lose my friends. I can't lose my mother. I know what it's like to be alone and I can't do it again."

Rachel let out a quick breath from her nose. "And I don't know what it feels like to be alone? I'm always alone. I've always_ been_ alone. I'm alone right now. And you know what? It's worse this time. Because this time..." She paused and shook her head at the pain of her statement. "This time I know I don't have to be. You're just too much of a coward to be there for me. I'm sorry, Quinn, but I can't do this if you can't give me something in return."

"You don't understand what it's like with my family. You have supportive parents."

"And your father doesn't live with you anymore. It's just your mom, who offered to turn your guest room into a nursery and help you raise your daughter. A woman who didn't even ground you when you came home drunk. I'm pretty sure that she would be more understanding than you think. And so what if your 'friends' leave you, you'd have me. I know I'm not much, but you wouldn't be alone. You'd have my parents as well. And Kurt. They understand what you're going through. Hell, what _I'm_ going through. This is still new to me too. But I'm at least willing to try."

Quinn had to fight herself from say that was because she had nothing to lose. "I can't."

"Then just go. If you can't, then don't. At all. It hurts too much to have you there being everything I know you can be one second and then ripping it all away the next because I'm not enough for you."

"Rachel..."

"Do you want me to say it?" She asked in anger, spinning around quickly to face Quinn. "Will you leave if I say it? If I make it easy for you, leaving you no choice? Fine! I'm sorry that I ever kissed you. It was the worst mistake I have ever made and if I was given the chance I would take it back in a heartbeat. It meant nothing to me. I don't want you. I hate you. I hope that you come back to school tomorrow and forget all about your offer of friendship and everything that we had. I hope you are the bitch that you use to be. I hope you call me those names that you promised you never would again. I hope you pick on me for my clothes no matter what I wear. I even hope that you're the next one to throw a slushie in my face and laugh at me when you make me cry. Because then... then you'll be happy. Everything will be back to the way it was. You'll have your popularity and your friends and you'll be happier than you've ever been... Right?"

_No. _And both of them knew it. That's what made this all so hard. Quinn saw what she wanted right in front of her, but there was this glue holding her feet in place, not allowing her to go after it. Her arms were tied to her side by an invisible string so she couldn't even reach for it. All she could do was stand there as she watched it break with each tear that feel from Rachel's eyes.

"Just go away, Quinn. Just leave me alone. Don't you have Cheerio's practice?"

After another moment of silence between them, her feet decided that she could move. But it was in the wrong direction. They carried her towards the door, out of the bathroom, and down the hall. Away from what she wanted because she was too scared to take it.

~/~/~/~

Practice was impossible. Rachel's words kept playing over and over in Quinn's mind only stopping long enough for her to kick herself for actually leaving the girl in the bathroom like that. Rachel was right about everything and yet Quinn couldn't bring herself to just let go and be free.

"I'm surprised your girlfriend's not on the bleachers waiting for you." Santana teased as the squad began their slow journey back to the locker rooms.

"What?"

"The dwarf. I heard that not only did you get her rehired, spent a significant amount of time with her in Puck's bedroom at his party, chewed Finn's ass out over her, but also scared the shit out of a sophomore who slushied her. I'm surprised your girlfriend isn't out here cheering you one with a 'Team Quinn' shirt on."

Quinn stopped, bringing most everyone around them to a halt as well. Santana saw the blonde's bottom lip grow taunt and knew that she was hitting a nerve. Exactly what she was wanting to do.

"I see you're not denying it. Should we call up Glitter and tell him that he's not the only gay in school now?"

"I'm not dating her. And so says the girl who sleeps with Brittany on a regular basis."

The Latina shrugged. Everyone knew about that. "There's a difference. It's just sex with us. What about you and Berry? Have you gotten into her boxer briefs yet? Does she really have as big of a penis as you drew her with on the bathroom walls last year? Is that why you're going after her? I couldn't blame you then."

"Shut up, Santana."

"Or what?" The Latina asked, crossing her arms and calling the blonde's bluff. "We all know you aren't going to do shit no matter how much I talk about your carpet munching girlfriend. But the real question I have, is how did she turn the unholiest, holy girl in school into a closeted dyke? Is she really that good in bed? Does she have a magic tongue?" The brunette shrugged her shoulders, playing to the growing crowed around them. "Maybe I can get in on the action there. You said you're not dating her, so maybe I can break her in."

"You two can't stand each other."

"Just makes for hotter sex." She remarked with a smirk. "I could imagine it now... I even bet she's a virgin still. Actually, I know she is because Finn always complained that she wouldn't let him touch her. Now that would be a prize to have. I could make her mine." Santana whispered in a low, taunting tone that made Quinn's blood boil. "I could have her screaming my name all night long. And after I was done with her... I'd make her lick my feet to remind her of her place afterward. We all know that-"

All hell broke lose when Quinn punched Santana. Santana's words were cut short by Quinn's fist to her face and both tumbled to the ground. Santana out of pain and shock, completely unprepared for what had happened, and Quinn because she had never thrown a punch before and knocked herself off balance. "Take it back." She demanded, grabbing Santana by the uniform and straddling her to hold her still.

"Like hell!" The Latina tried to swing at her but the blonde blocked it and connected with her own. It was a strange sensation for Quinn. She could see it all happening but couldn't stop her arms from swinging. She had no control and her anger was in charge now. She was tired of having to take everything that Santana said about her and about Rachel. Each comment had been a chip at Quinn's wall and it had finally crumbled, unleashing the pent up anger she had denied herself from feeling before.

"Take it back."

Santana bucked her hips and knocked Quinn off balance enough to roll her over so she was on top, but Quinn was too pissed to just give up and fought back, pulling hair, scratching, slapping when they could. The two wrestled while the rest of the squad either stood around in shock or giggled in excitement until they scattered like rats.

"What in the hell is going on here?" Both girls froze at the sound of their coaches voice and looked up at the towering woman above them. "Q, answer me."

"She's getting what she deserves."

"While I like your desire for punishment and a good beat down, that's not a good enough answer for me. What is this about?" Sue asked again, pulling the blonde off of the Latina.

"It's over some freak from glee club." Santana explained.

"Glee club?" She nodded. "I am not having my squad fall apart because of that stupid group of awkward freaks and losers. So fix whatever this problem is, now!" Neither girl said anything and Quinn had to fight reaching out and slapping the smirk off of Santana's face. "Fine. Then quit the club."

"What?" The both asked in unison.

"If you're fighting over something to do with the club, then you're out of it. Simple as that."

"I'm not quitting just because you say so." Quinn argue, pulling away from the tall blonde, shocked at her own rebellion. What had gotten into her?

Mildly surprised at the refusal, the taller blonde woman took a step closer and lowered her voice. No one defied Sue Sylvester. "You will, or I'll turn you in to Figgins for fighting and you'll be suspended. Colleges aren't going to look very highly upon that. So here are your options: Quit glee and we all forget that this little incident occurred, or stay in glee which is slowly tearing my squad apart, get suspended, lose any chance of getting out of this black hole of a town, spend the rest of your life working as a waitress in a restaurant whose food is less appealing than economy grade cardboard, and never amount to anything in your menial little life. Oh! And you'd be off the squad too."

Quinn scoffed and Sue shrugged her shoulders.

"The choice, which is a pretty easy one if I might add, is yours kiddo."

The younger blonde scowled coldly. "I quit then."

"Great. I'm glad you see things my way. That's one thing I always liked about you, Q. You always see things my way."

"I quit the Cheerios."

~/~/~/~

Quinn ran from her car to the front door of the Berry's house and rang the door bell. After a few seconds she knocked loudly, unable to wait any longer. When the door opened it was Mark standing in front of her. She smiled quickly but let it fade. She wasn't in the mood to put up a front and knew he wasn't in the mood for it either. "Is Rachel here?"

"She is... but I was given distinct instructions that she didn't want to see you." He had an accusing tone to his voice. She didn't think he knew what was going on completely, but still felt like she deserved it.

"I really need to talk to her. I messed up and I need to fix it."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but after seeing my baby in tears, I'm going to give her what she wants."

Quinn's heart broke knowing that she had caused the diva to cry again. "Please?" He didn't budge. "She's going to want to hear what I have to say?" Still nothing, but she could see him thinking about it. "Will you at least give her a message and see if she will talk to me after it?"

He pursed his lips and then studied her, seeing the desperation in her eyes. "What do you want me to tell her?"

"Tell her..." What did she want to tell her. "Tell her I don't want to be a coward anymore. And that I wont be at school tomorrow because I've been suspended for beating the crap out of Santana... and that I might have broken her nose."

He looked at her with a confused expression. "You know, those aren't normally things someone would confess to one of their friend's parents. Especially if that said friend's parents are too thrilled about-"

"I understand that." She cut him off. He was wasting time and she couldn't stand another second of Rachel thinking that their time together had been a waste. "But this message is for her and you're kind of the only way I can get it to her."

He let out a long breath through his nose. "Fine. I'll go tell her. Are you waiting here?" She nodded. "Alright." He shut the door and Quinn took a few steps backwards, looking up to where Rachel's window was. She wasn't expecting to see her, but this was just in case.

Mark knocked on his daughter's bedroom door as he cracked it open. Rachel didn't respond other than a sniff. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside. "That was Quinn."

"I don't want to see her."

"I told her that. She tried anyway though." Rachel didn't answer, but just pulled the pillow she was clinging to closer to her chest. "She asked me to give you a message."

"I don't want to hear anything she has to say."

Mark let out a sigh and took a seat on the edge of her bed, facing her door while Rachel faced her window. "Will you tell me what's going on?"

"No."

"Baby, you're hurting and I want to help you. She seems pretty certain that this message will make you happy."

Rachel suddenly sat up and he turned to see her puffy eyes and messed up hair falling in her face. "There are very few things that she could say that would make me less miserable than I currently am."

"She's confident enough that she's waiting on the front stoop until I do."

She turned and looked out the window but willed herself not to walk over and look down to see her. "What did she say?"

"It doesn't make much sense to me, or make me happy to hear it, but she says you'll like it." His daughter looked back to him and waited. "She said that she doesn't want to be a coward anymore. And that she has been suspended from school because she may have broken Santana's nose when they got into a fight."

Rachel's mind raced and she shook her head quickly in disbelief. "What?"

"That's what I said. It makes no sense to me."

"No. I mean, she actually_ hit_ someone?"

He looked at her shocked face with a dropped brow, unsure of how that was the most important part of everything he said. "That's what she said at least. I don't have any proof..." Rachel debated for a second longer. She wanted Quinn to be genuine, but she also had a very clear understanding of the blonde's ability and tendency to change her mind. Seeing Quinn and hearing any sort of promise right now would only be setting her up to have her heart broken again. Then again, if she had actually been moved to action... "What do you want me to tell her? Do you want me to tell her that she should go home?"

"Let her in. I'll be down stairs in a minute."

He nodded reluctantly. It was her call, not his.

Quinn bounced nervously on the balls of her feet and looked around the front yard when suddenly the front door opened. She looked up at Mark with hope in her eyes. "I still don't get it, but she said she'd be down in a minute. You can wait inside."

She smiled widely and quickly followed the man in. Her smile faded though when she saw Mark join his husband near the foot of the stairs, almost like bodyguards for when their daughter joined them. Quinn felt ashamed again. She had done the one thing they were expecting her to do, hurt Rachel some how. But they didn't know the full story yet. It was more complicated than just calling her names or making fun of her clothes. There were risks involved. But Quinn's mind stopped racing when Rachel trudged down stairs step by step, looking at her cautiously as she did.

The brunette stopped two steps from the bottom and crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want exactly?"

"I..." Quinn began, taking a step forward only to lose the words she had wanted to say. She didn't know if she ever had them. She looked at the still red eyed diva in front of her and searched for the perfect words but fell short. She could see in Rachel's eyes that she was giving up hope on her. Quinn walked forward a few more steps, climbing the first one, and caught Rachel off guard when she kissed her. The blonde cupped the side of her face and kissed her a second time, holding the connection until she felt Rachel uncross her arms to rest her hands Quinn's sides and return the kiss.

Quinn smiled into the next, deeper caress and pulled Rachel's body closer to her with her free hand until they jumped apart at the sound of Mark clearing his throat. "Sorry to interrupt, but can someone please explain what is going on?"

The girl's looked at each other for a second before Quinn stepped down from the stairs, pulling Rachel with her by the hand. "I-I like your daughter." She confessed looking at the men and then to Rachel. "I was just too scared to do much about it though."

They nodded their heads in the clear understanding of that and looked to their daughter, whom until that moment, they thought still longed for Finn. Rachel cleared her throat and shifted her gaze between all three of them. "I backed your car into the mail box because I was staring at a female jogger's rear as she ran by."

The room fell silent for several seconds until Quinn started laughing. "Yeah. I am sooooo going to tease you for that." Mark just ran his hand over his face as he tried to take in all of the new information and developments unfolding before him. Thankfully his husband stepped in with the parental questions.

"So, are you two... dating?"

Quinn looked back at Rachel and smashed her lips between her teeth. "Yes. I mean, if she still wants to, but there's still a lot of adjusting I need to do. I'm not ready to step out the door with a pride shirt on or anything. My mother... she doesn't even know." The brunette gripped her hand tighter in support.

"I need to sit down." Mark stated, retreating to the living room.

"Why don't you two come with us." Bryan suggested, calling them with his finger as he followed his husband. "How long has this been going on?"

"Just over a week now." Quinn stated, following Rachel's lead and taking a seat on the couch, still holding Rachel's hand.

"So all of these sleep overs you two have been having..." Mark trailed off as both Quinn and Rachel shook their heads frantically.

"We haven't had sex." The brunette stated, much to Quinn's horror. "We have an agreement that we are not ready for that type of relationship. We may have explored what relationship we _do_ have, but it has always stopped short of physically consummating our-"

"Rachel." Quinn whispered harshly, unable to take the humiliation any longer. "I think they get the point that we haven't had sex."

"I was just wanting to be clear on that fact."

"You're quite clearly, Sweetheart." Bryan informed her, shifting his thick rimmed glasses on his face, feeling the awkwardness of the moment now. "Crystal clear."

"I'm sorry, I'm still trying to figure out how all of this happened." The taller man stated, reclining back in his chair with the look of pure confusion on his face. "Why didn't you just tell us? I hope you didn't think that we would disagree with your choice."

"No, of course not." Rachel assured him. "I simply wasn't sure myself until I... we... until we got together. And once we did... it just seemed easier to try and sort out emotions from curiosity without having to answer to someone. I know you and Dad would be welcoming to our sexuality, but sometimes talking about it actually makes it harder to accept." Quinn turned her head to look Rachel in the eye. Rachel understood her once again. That had been Quinn's biggest issue this week, talking about it at times. It just made it all seem too real.

"When do you plan on telling your mother? I would suggest telling her before someone else gets the chance with these rumors you said are going to spread."

Quinn nodded her head slowly, not ready for the reality of the moment. "I guess I will tell her tonight. But..." She paused and looked to Rachel quickly, then back to the men. "Can Rachel be there with me? I'm not ready to do this on my own."

The men shared quick looks and Bryan leaned forward. "I wont forbid it, but at least hear me out when I say that in order to get an honest reaction and conversation from your mother, it would be best if you did this alone. She may feel pressured or put on the spot."

The blonde frowned slightly, not having thought about that herself. "W-what if Rachel was just there in the house, but I had the conversation privately? I just don't want to feel completely alone and if my mother does freak out... I'll have someone there." She laughed nervously. "Or if things go really badly, I'll have someone to help me pack."

"I think that is a better choice of the two." Bryan stated. "But now we need to talk about school. What are you expecting tomorrow to be like? Realistically?"

"Well, I've been suspended, but Santana hasn't. She's also probably head Cheerio now." Rachel snapped her attention to Quinn who smiled faintly, able to tell Rachel something she knew she would want to hear. "I gave it all up for you." The diva wiped away a tear. She felt guilty for costing Quinn everything, but at the same time, so happy that she was actually worth it in the blonde's eyes. "But that just makes us a bigger target now."

"So Rachel showing up to school tomorrow... by herself since you are suspended..." Bryan lead, sitting back in his chair as Quinn's eyes widened in the realization that Rachel was going to have to go through it all alone.

"Don't make her go. Let her stay home and we can deal with it together on Wednesday. I mean, it's only the second day of school. Teachers still wont be teaching anything. She wont miss much. You can't make her go through that by herself. It's not fair." She pleaded, turning to each man, looking for support.

The two men held a silent conversation between them before Mark cleared his throat. "Rachel will stay home tomorrow." Quinn let out an audible breath that she had been holding and tilted her forehead to rest against the brunette's temple.

"Thank you."

"I think today will be stressful enough for you both, coming out to us and your mother. Adding Rachel going to school tomorrow would just put us all in the hospital with heart attacks." He explained. "So, go home. Talk with your mother. If things don't work out, you are always welcome here."

"But doors stay open." Bryan added quickly and Rachel rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that. You are not yet eighteen. You still obey our rules."

"I know that. But a little bit more trust would be a nice thing."

"Tell that to my car."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: First bit of news... updates are going to be a little irregular for a bit. I'm still hoping to wrap this story up by the end of next week, but I'm not sure if I will be able to update on my previously scheduled days. I'm moving so the next few weeks are going to be incredibly busy. I will update when I can but unfortunately wont be able to give any notice if I can't. So you will just have to keep checking back in if you aren't signed up for alerts. Sorry.**

**In this chapter we get to see Quinn telling Judy but there will be more to come on that as well. Things are talked about but not completely settled so to speak. There's also a lot of Quin/Rachel talk. Fears and joys getting the best of each at different times. I guess you could say things are talked about between them but also not completely settled.**

**Anyway, a few more chapters to go here and then it will be done. And to answer the question of the hour, YES I will be doing a sequel to BWYDT. When exactly it will start... I don't know. Not for a while but it will be posted under the name Beautiful When You Don't Try 2 or something similar. But again, I am so glad that you all are enjoying this fic and while I understand you don't want it to end soon, the sooner it does end, the sooner I can start the sequel. But thank you for reading and reviewing. Enjoy~**

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"Are you ready for this?" That was a stupid question and Rachel knew it. Still it didn't stop her from asking it as she paced in front of the blonde. Quinn was sitting on the foot of her bed, waiting for her mother to come home.

"No." She stated at the obviousness of the answer and Rachel closed her eyes in regret of even asking.

"I'm sorry. I knew... I just..." The diva collapsed on the bed next to her girlfriend in defeat. She had what she wanted, but felt horribly for what it was costing Quinn. She couldn't help but to think once again she was being selfish and hurt someone she cared for. "I'm sorry for putting you in this uncomfortable position."

The blonde dropped her brow and grabbed Rachel's hand. "It was my choice." _Kind of._ "I hit Santana. I went to your house. I outed us to your fathers. You didn't ask me to do those things."

"But I did. Maybe not those things specifically. But I made you choose."

"But you didn't make me choose this. I had options and I took one. I chose you. I should have done it sooner." She confessed looking down in shame. "I completely screwed up practice because I didn't want to be there. I just wanting to get to you and tell you how sorry I was. I shouldn't have walked out of the bathroom."

Rachel bit her bottom lip and studied the side of the blonde's face. "What is Wednesday going to be like for us?"

Quinn lifted her eyes that blindly scanned the other side of her basement bedroom as her mind raced. Nothing had actually been confirmed, just that Quinn stood up for Rachel. Of course what was being said would only lead to certain assumptions. The blonde closed her eyes, blocking out the thoughts of trying to hide and put her and Rachel back in the position that caused all of this drama to begin with. "I'm scared... but at the same time... being out just this much with your dads knowing seems kind of... freeing."

Rachel tried to fight her excitement. "So what are you saying?"

Quinn turned her head slightly to study Rachel's eyes and saw the hope filling them. "I have you, right?" The brunette squeezed her hand and nodded her head. "Then I wont be alone." Just then they could hear the front door open and Judy call her daughter's name. Judging by the harsh tone of her voice, the girls figured either Sue or Figgins had called her at work. "Wish me luck?"

The brunette leaned over and kissed her gently. "You will be just fine. You don't need my luck."

"I hope you're right." Quinn stated with a bit of a sigh as she stood up, leaving her girlfriend on her bed. "Other wise I think your dads may have a heart attack thinking I'm sneaking into your bedroom at night if I have to move in."

"And what if I was to be sneaking into yours?" Rachel asked, slightly offended that she was left out of the trouble making.

Quinn smiled slyly. "I'm hoping they don't think that's an issue and are therefore blind if it were to happen."

"Quinn! Now!" The blonde ducked her head down between her shoulders and began ascending the stairs. "Are you rebelling? Is that what it is?" Judy asked as she paced in the living room, making Quinn more nervous with each pass as she took her seat on the couch. She was ready for the scolding, just not necessarily what was going to come after. "Is it because of your father? Or am I not spending enough time with you? I'm sorry, Quinn, that I can't be here more. I have to work."

"M-mom, I know." The younger blonde tried to calm her down, feeling the guilt already. This was the last thing Judy needed right now, but maybe honesty really was the best policy to live by. "It's not rebellion."

"Then what is it?" Judy pleaded, finally stopping her pacing. "First you come home drunk. Now I'm getting a call from your principal that you are fighting, suspended, and kicked off the cheerleading team."

"I wasn't kicked off." Quinn corrected her quickly. "I quit."

The older woman was more lost than ever. Quinn had been so set on being on the Cheerios that she worked over the summer to pay for the fees, but now quit the first day of school. "Why?" The former cheerleader groaned as she dropped her head into her hands and Judy calmed down a little. Clearly her daughter wasn't in the need of a lecture right now. "Quinn, talk to me. Help me understand what is going on."

"It's not that simple." She stated as her mother took a seat on the coffee table in front of her and pried her hands away from her face.

"It can be if you just tell me." Quinn laughed at the statement, thinking the exact opposite. She closed her eyes tightly, knowing she had to do this but still having every muscle in her body telling her to run out the front door instead. "Quinn... Why were you fighting?"

"Santana was being disrespectful... of Rachel..."

Judy sat back and ran her hands over her forehead, trying to get her mind to process how that would result in fighting. She didn't like that her daughter and friend had treated the smaller girl like that in the past but it was still nothing new. "You got into a fight because Santana said some bad things about Rachel? Okay... what exactly did she say?"

Quinn's eyes widened. There was no way that she was going to tell her exactly what the Latina had said. "I would be embarrassed to tell you some of the things she said, Mom. She doesn't exactly filter herself around her peers."

"Try me. I think I'm a pretty hip mom." Quinn cringed and Judy shrugged her shoulders in a little dance as an attempt to break the icy tension.

"Alright. Fine. She said Rachel and I were dating and that if we weren't... she would more or less like to turn Rachel into her sex slave."

The older woman's light smile fell instantly and Quinn nodded her head, knowing that would be her reaction. After a few awkward moments of silence as Judy processed what was just told to her, she cleared her throat and tried to focus the conversation again. "Okay, while that was indeed disrespectful of Santana, did that really require you to hit her?" Quinn mashed her lips between her teeth and dropped her eyes as she nodded her head. "Why do you say that? You could have very easily walked away. Why were you so compelled to hit her?"

The younger blonde hesitated one more time, feeling her heart racing in her chest. She needed to tell her and this was the ideal time. She just had to pull all of her strength and say it before she could change her mind. "Because Rachel and I _are_ dating."

The room was so silent that Quinn could hear the air being moved around by the ceiling fan above them, but just barely over the pounding of her heart in her ears. It had been said. She was out. Now she just had to find the courage and strength in her trembling body to look up at her mother. Judy stared at her daughter for only a brief second then both looked away in opposite directions, each searching for the right words to say but both knowing they weren't going to find them. Quinn was biting on her thumb nail trying not to cry while she saw Judy wipe away a tear of her own in her peripheral vision.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Quinn voice broke as the tears started coming down faster than she could wipe them away. "I tried not to be. I really did. But I couldn't stop it."

Judy cleared her throat and wiped a few more tears away before opening her mouth to speak but only getting a shaking breath of air. She shook her head and tried again. "It's... it's alright. It's okay. We can... um, we can work through this."

"How?"

The older blonde shrugged her shoulders, looking down to her hands now folded in her lap. "You know, maybe it's just a phase you are going through. Young girls your age are curious about these things sometimes. There's nothing wrong with being curious."

Quinn swallowed hard. "I'm not curious, Mom. This isn't just a phase."

"But how do you know that? It could be."

She shook her head, thinking of the brunette in her bedroom. There was no way what she felt for Rachel was due to a phase. "It's not. I just got suspended for the first time in my life, hit someone out of anger for the first time in my life, and quit the one thing that defined me more than anything else... because of how I feel for her."

"I'm not so sure I believe that." The older woman remarked quickly, clearly in denial.

Quinn huffed a laugh. "But I am. Seeing as it was _my_ actions, I think I would be the best to say why they happened."

"Quinn, I can't talk about this right now." Judy stated standing up, leaving her daughter sitting on the sofa with her mouth hanging open. "I just need a few minutes to gather my thoughts. We can finish this conversation later. I just... I just need a minute to think." Quinn hesitated only for a minute before she stood up and walked around her mother to return to her bedroom, unsure if she was hurt or angry with the woman right now. She had pushed for answers and then when Quinn was finally opening up to give them to her, putting herself out there, Judy didn't want to hear them anymore. Were her feelings not important enough?

Rachel shot up off the bed as she hear Quinn walk down the stairs. She fidgeted, playing with her fingers until she saw her girlfriend. "Well, how did it go?"

The blonde stared at her for as second before rushing forward, pulling her into a heated kiss with both hands. The kisses were hungry and in need. Rachel surrendered. She allowed Quinn to walk her backwards until they hit her dressed and then lifted up to sit on it, allowing the blonde to stand between her knees. She wasn't too sure how far Quinn was trying to take this but before she could ask the former cheerleader pulled away, resting their foreheads together.

"You're not a phase."

"No." Rachel answered back impulsively between the girls' panting breaths, their mouths still just centimeters apart.

"I like you. I like being around you. I feel the need to protect you. I get jealous when other people look at you... You're not a phase."

"I'm not a phase." She assured her again, understanding that Quinn was fighting her natural urge to suppress her feelings again. "I'm not a phase." Rachel repeated as the blonde moved to rest her head on her shoulder while the diva ran comforting hands up and down her back. "I'm not a phase."

~/~/~/~

They both knew this was a bad place to be found should Judy come down to talk to Quinn, but neither of them cared enough to actually move. So they laid on Quinn's bed. The blonde was on her back with Rachel clinging to her side. Rachel smiled softly as her girlfriend traced faint designs on her shoulder. They were comfortable. They weren't pushing for anything physical like they almost always had before. Now they were just enjoying each other's existence and the calm that accompanied it.

"Quinn?"

Rachel sat up quickly, hearing Judy's voice as the basement door opened but Quinn grabbed her wrist before she could flee the bed. "Don't run." She stated as she slowly sat up as well, reclining backward on her palms slightly as she turned her head and waited for her mother to descend the last step.

The older woman paused, caught off guard by Rachel's presence. "Oh, I didn't realize you were here." Rachel opened her mouth but nothing came out, so she just shifted her weight a little and looked to Quinn. Normally she would have excused herself for being there when clearly it was a conversation for family to have, but she was there to support Quinn at her request. The younger blonde was just waiting for her mother to say what she wanted to say, expecting the worst. "Well, perhaps it is best if you are both here for this."

Judy cleared her throat and dropped her eyes from the girls but took a small step closer. "I need to apologize for my initial reaction. I have to be honest and say that you caught me completely off guard with that confession, Quinn. But I should have reacted differently. I was encouraging you to talk about your feelings but then I stormed off... and that wasn't right. So," She paused as sat down in Quinn's desk chair, finally meeting the pair's eyes again. "I'm ready to listen now."

Quinn sat up and tucked her legs under her, indian style, and held her mother's gaze. "This isn't a phase." Judy let out a long breath and nodded her head in acceptance. "I'm not exactly sure what else it is that I need to say that I haven't already. And the only thing I'm really needing to know... is if I need to pack."

"What? No! Quinn, no, Sweety. I'm not... I would never kick you out. I may not be entirely comfortable with everything that has happened today, but I would never kick you out because of it." Both girls let out a sigh or relief. "I understand why you would assume that, but I hope from now on that you wont ever have that fear."

Hearing her mother's protests really did calm Quinn's fears and she nodded her head.

The room fell into an awkward silence again and Judy worried her hands together. "I'm not prepared for this talk." She stated plainly, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not even sure how it's suppose to happen."

"May I make a suggestion?" Rachel asked in a tiny voice before clearing her throat. Judy looked at her cautiously, suddenly not so sure if she liked the girl or not, but nodded her head. "Perhaps it would be easier on us all if you and Quinn would join my family for dinner. I think that conversing with my fathers would not only build a familiar bond between our families, but would prove quite helpful. They are also going through the same thing right now. The shock of it all."

"So they didn't.. know?" Judy asked in surprise as both girls shook their heads.

"They just found out right before I told you." Quinn informed her. She could tell by the pensive look on her mother's face that she didn't seem quite so caught off guard anymore. She wasn't the only one left out of her daughter's personal life.

"Would you be interested in joining us this evening?" Rachel asked, knowing in the back of her mind that not only would her fathers be alright with the suggestion, but thrilled to meet the mother of their daughter's first girlfriend.

"Um..." Judy looked down as she ran her hands over her work clothes, inspecting them closely.

"We are a very informal family." The diva assured her.

The older woman smiled lightly, impressed with Rachel's ability to be sensitive. "Then I would very much like that. _If_ it is alright with your fathers."

~/~/~/~

Quinn had never been more pleased with one of Rachel's decisions before. Well, maybe the decision to kiss her the first time, but this was something that was great right from the start. The dinner wasn't even awkward because the girls were pretty much left out of the conversation completely. The Berry men were pretty much the first (that she knew about) gay individuals that Judy had met and actually held a conversation with. She was immersed in their insight. They managed to calm her worries and fears enough to make her comfortable with the thought of their daughter's dating. It still wasn't something that Judy would prefer, but when confronted with the alternative of pushing her daughter away or losing her completely, she was willing to try.

"May we be excused?" Rachel asked at the end of dinner and all the adults nodded their head, still lost in their own conversation.

"Keep the door open." Bryan called back as the brunette lead Quinn by the hand out of the kitchen. Judy's smile fade slightly as she noticed the connection. When her eyes met Quinn's, the younger blonde silently pleaded for her to try to accept that this was what made her happy. Judy flashed the slightest tweak of a smile in the corner of her mouth and turned her attention to her glass of water.

"Dad, I would certainly hope that you would trust us enough not to do anything so reckless while you were conversing down stairs with company nonetheless."

The short man shifted in his chair so he was facing the pair, a light smile on his face. "I do. But still, keep the door open."

Rachel pursed her lips in defiance and turned, pulling Quinn along in her storm out. The blonde couldn't help but smile as she stomped her way up the stairs in a further rant, despite the fact that no one could see her any longer. Her smile, however, turned into a smirk when the brunette nearly attacked her with kisses once they stepped inside her bedroom.

"See if an open door stops me." Rachel challenged as she spun around and started backing Quinn up towards her bed.

The blonde laughed lightly and joined in the celebration kisses, capturing Rachel's full bottom lip between hers ans gently sucking on it. "I like it when you're defiant." She teased as they sat down on the diva's bed, the brunette straddling her waist and trailing kisses along her neck. "I _really_ like it when you are defiant."

"I'm sure." Rachel remarked before she ran her fingers into the blonde hair, eliciting a moan of approval from her girlfriend. "You were amazing today and I need... to thank you." Quinn could barely hold in her chuckle as the brunette devoured her lips. If she had known that this was coming, she would have seriously considered coming out a hell of a lot sooner.

"You don't... think they'll... check on us... do you?" Quinn asked between heated kisses as her hands plastered themselves on the hot skin of Rachel's back when they slipped under her shirt. She was trying to control herself enough not to flip them over, laying Rachel down on the bed. This looked bad enough should any of the adults walk in. That would have been the only position worse.

Rachel slowed their kisses, lingering in each connection a little bit longer than the last. Quinn knew she was slowing down, knowing that they couldn't go where they wanted to... even in the slightest bit, but she didn't want her to stop. She loved this. Not just because it could possibly one day actually lead to sex, but because after all those years of limiting her interactions with guys, it just felt so good to be this free with Rachel.

When the brunette tried to pull away, Quinn cupped her face and pulled her back into another kiss, but this was different from the rest. It wasn't pushed by raging hormones, overly eager and looking for more. Rachel couldn't help but feel like this was some sort of silent statement. What, she didn't know, but she knew it was more than just a kiss. Rachel slowly pulled away and met Quinn's eyes, looking for an explanation.

"What was that?" The blonde fumbled with her words, fearing she had done something wrong. She pulled back but Rachel gripped her behind the neck so she couldn't push her away. "It's okay. Just... tell me."

Their eyes locked and the diva could see the mild panic fill her hazel orbs. Rachel ran her thumb along Quinn's jaw line, trying to comfort her and it seemed to be working. The blonde's tense shoulders relaxed slightly and she maintained their heavy stare as her mouth bobbed up and down silently until she swallowed around the lump in her throat and tried to speak again. "I think... I think I love you."

Rachel's jaw dropped, matching the blonde's bob. "You..."

"I think..."

"You think..."

"Maybe. I don't know. You loved Finn, right? What did that feel like?"

If it was possible, Rachel was left more speechless. With that simple question she began to wonder if she really had loved Finn. Sure she cared for him, had a crush on him... but had she actually loved him? Two weeks ago she would have said yes without hesitation. But the things Quinn was making her feel trumped anything the jock had managed. "I... I... I don't know what I felt for him." She stated slowly, but honestly.

"Oh." Quinn dropped her eyes from Rachel's then turned her head after she realized that dropping her eyes meant she would be staring at Rachel's boobs in their current position. "Well... what do you feel for me?" Quinn hesitantly turned back and met the brunette's eyes reluctantly, fearful of rejection.

Rachel's mind was racing. She wanted to say that she loved her to, or at least thought she did. She wanted to tell her that she made her feel differently than any of her boyfriends ever had, that she felt safe and comfortable with her, challenged, understood, accepted. Yet she still couldn't shake their past out of her head. How could someone who made her hate herself at times end up being the one person who gave her the confidence and comfort to show who she was now? "I don't know."

"Oh..." Quinn felt like she had just had the wind knocked out of her but she tried not to let her walls build back up. Rachel clearly cared for her to some degree. "Today, in the bathroom... you said that you thought I cared as much as you did." She reminded her gently as Rachel sat back, but not getting up from Quinn's lap. "What did you mean then?"

"I do care for you. I like you. A lot. I just... I'm not sure how to define it properly."

The blonde nodded slowly. "So, you like me... but it might not be love."

The diva dropped her eyes, already hearing the pain in Quinn's voice. "I'm hesitant to answer that either way. I'm not saying it's love, but I'm not saying it isn't. I just... I simply don't know."

Deflated wasn't a descriptive enough word for what Quinn felt. She knew she loved Rachel, she was just scared to commit fully to the confession. Now she was left hanging in a moment she had thought would have Rachel beaming with smiles. It hurt. It was embarrassing. It was discouraging. It was awkward. It was everything it wasn't suppose to be yet it was also understandable. They were only seventeen. They had only been 'dating' for a week. How could she expect Rachel to love her? "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No." Rachel stopped her as she tried to gently push her off and stand up. "Quinn, I'm glad you did. I hate to say it, but I had doubted your depth of feelings for me and our current situation. Hearing you say that you might love me proves that this is real to you as well."

That wasn't making Quinn feel any better. Not only was she left out there feeling things her girlfriend wasn't, but now she knew that she knew her girlfriend had even been oblivious to the fact that Quinn cared for her at all. Had she come out and put herself through all of this for someone who was now seemingly pulling away all of those promises of love?

Rachel frowned, reading Quinn's thoughts through her facial expressions. She looked heart broken. She tried a faint smile but let it fall as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck. "Hold me?" The blonde did as she was asked, needing the closeness as much as she was needing to get away from it do deal with her rejection.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Look, it's a scheduled update! I know you haven't seen one of these in a few days. Just a few more chapters to go and I've started writing them already, knowing that I won't have a lot of time to do so during the week. I'm glad you all have enjoyed this story. I think I have pretty much stuck to my plan of starting off a little angsty and moving it towards more fluff while still attempting to keep it realistic.**

**This chapter is the next day. The morning after the girls came out to their parents and Quinn and Rachel's discussion of love and not love. There is a little bit of a Judy/Quinn scene but most of it is Rachel/Quinn that was needed after the previous night.**

**I'm still thinking it will end on chapter 20. I might add another chapter but it depends on your response to the next chapter. If I go one way, it will end on chapter twenty. If I go the other way, it will more than likely end on chapter 21. I don't know so we shall all see in time. But thank you all for your patience. Thank you for reading, for reviewing, for your messages and email. Just thank you. Enjoy!**

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Quinn laid in bed, staring at her ceiling, listening to her mother work in the kitchen. They hadn't really talked about anything. They kept with the typical 'goodnight' departure and left it at that after dinner at the Berry's. That had been fine with Quinn. After being denied an emotional bond equal to her own from Rachel, Quinn wasn't in the mood to talk. She probably wouldn't have lasted five minutes without bursting into tears under the weight of her emotions. Nothing was going how she had planned. She once again had no control over anything, living her biggest fear every second.

But now that she had time to process some of her thoughts, the silent tension between her and her mother was beginning to kill her. She threw the covers off of her and made her way to the steps, not even bothering to get dressed out of her pajamas. She knew Judy would have to leave for work soon.

When she arrived at the small kitchen, she waited propped against the doorway. "Good morning."

Judy hesitated for a second before turning around and facing her daughter. "Good morning. I didn't wake you, did I? I thought you might like to sleep in today."

Quinn shook her head. She had been up for a while already. "No. You didn't wake me up." Judy nodded her head and the two stood in silence until the younger sighed and took a step forward. She just wanted to get this over with. "I want to thank you for trying to be understanding and not grounding me even. I know I'm not exactly making things easy on you right now."

The older woman shrugged her shoulders as Quinn sat down at the table. "Perhaps not, but I don't think things are all that easy for you at the moment either." That caught Quinn off guard a little and she looked up to meet her mother's sympathetic eyes. "I know you have been struggling with something lately. I just didn't know what it was. And now that I do..." She paused and took a seat across from her daughter, setting her keys down so they could talk. "I have to admit that I'm not completely comfortable with it."

"I know. I feel guilty for it. I tried so hard not to have to put you through this right now, but everything just kept stacking up." She explained, almost pleading in her tone. She needed her mother to understand that she was just grasping this concept herself. "It's kind of new to me too."

"But it's not a phase?"

"No, Mom. It's not a phase. I mean, I've denied it, but now that I have finally come to accept it, I can look back and shake my head because I should have always known. I guess it was just never really an option for me to consider."

Judy was really trying to understand, but it was proving difficult. She had no experience with it. And while Bryan and Mark had been informative and helpful, all of that information seemed to elude her at the moment. "But this is something that you truly believe in?"

Quinn nodded her head. "It would be a whole lot of crap to go through if I didn't."

She had never thought of it that way. "I suppose that makes sense. And Rachel is alright with this?"

"She seems to be. She was wanting to come out sooner actually. I just wasn't ready."

Judy nodded her head again. It was just easier than trying to come up with something supportive to say. "Well, even though I'm still not sure of everything... just know that I'm here for you. I'll try to listen and I'll try to understand. It just may take me a little while to feel comfortable with the discussion before I can speak with you freely about things." This time it was Quinn that nodded with the look of abandonment on her face. "But I'm still here for you. You're my daughter and I'm not giving you up again."

"Thanks. I think out of everything, just knowing that helps the most. I mean, being a loser at school sucks, but knowing that I still have a home to come back to doesn't make it seem so bad anymore." While the statement was Quinn's attempt at lightening the mood, leaving her with a faint smile, Judy's was forced. She was reminded again of just how bad her daughter's life had been a few years ago and it was her fault.

"You will always have a home to come back to." She stated, reaching across the table and taking her daughter's hand. "And I'll work on being able to talk about things more freely. Maybe we can start a mother/daughter night or something."

Quinn smiled. Normally that would be something she would have been completely against, but having her mother's interest and support had never felt so welcomed. "I would like that."

"Great." The older blonde stated standing up and grabbing her keys. "Then you decide what day you would like and we can start this week maybe. But I need to get to work or I'm going to be late."

~/~/~/~

It was odd to be at home when she knew she should be at school. It was more odd when the doorbell rang and Quinn got off of the couch to answer it. When she opened it she found a rather shy looking diva with her hands clasped together behind her back. "Hi."

The blonde pulled her head back in surprise. "Hi. W-what are you doing here?"

"Well, with us both being home and neither of us under house arrest... I figured we could spend our day off together." Quinn nodded her head in silence, trying to figure out why she hadn't thought of that before. "Are you going to ask my to come in?"

"Um, yeah. Sorry." The blonde stepped to the side and let her in. "I'm just still in a bit of a daze."

"A daze?" Rachel asked turning to watch as Quinn shut the door.

"Yeah. My mind wouldn't stop going last night so I haven't gotten much sleep. I was actually about to go lay down and maybe... I don't know, take a nap or something."

Rachel smiled lightly and stretched her hand out for Quinn to take. After a second of hesitation, she did. Quinn couldn't help it. She may have been hurt that Rachel didn't return her feelings, but that still didn't stop her from feeling them herself. "How about I join you for that nap? My mind was pretty active last night as well."

This moment made Quinn realize just how deeply she had fallen. She must have been denying it to herself all this time for it to affect her so much so suddenly. But right now, with feeling Rachel's fingers between hers as the brunette lead the way to her bedroom, the connection felt like the most real thing she had ever experienced. Like it was pulling her out of this fog that had covered her all of her life. "So what were you thinking about last night?" Quinn asked, trying to provide a little bit of conversation as they descended the stairs.

Rachel smashed her lips between her teeth as she suddenly spun around, dropped Quinn's hand, and took a step backwards. "I lied to you." The blonde couldn't move out of shock of the statement, let alone speak, so Rachel continued. "I lied to you when you asked me what I felt for you. I was just too scared to admit it. I've put myself out there a great deal with all of my relationships and it has never benefited me in the past. Add on top of that our past and your reluctance with the beginning or our relationship... when given the opportunity to put myself out there again, I pulled away." She paused and dropped her eyes in shame. "I know I hurt you yesterday and the guilt from that knowledge kept me awake all night. I am ashamed of my behavior."

"What are you saying, Rachel?"

The brunette lifted her eyes slightly to meet Quinn's. "I didn't love Finn. I use to think I did, but... recent emotions have forced me to come to the realization that I, in fact, did not." She shrugged and lifted her head the rest of the way. "I love _you_."

There were no words spoken between them, just two slow steps from Quinn who bent down slightly and captured Rachel's mouth in hers. It wasn't a kiss of passion nor need. It was the same statement that she had made the previous night. She loved Rachel. It might have been a sudden understanding, but it was real and she wasn't going to deny it any longer.

Rachel returned the statement, lifting up on her toes and gently wrapping her fingers on the back of the blonde's head. She closed her eyes tight as she dove into their second kiss, feeling a fluttering sensation in her chest as her heart sped off, finally set free. "Wait." She whispered, dropping down from her toes.

Quinn looked at her with concern in her eyes but Rachel wouldn't meet hers. "What's wrong?"

The brunette shook her head quickly. "Nothing. I just... I want to give you something."

"You want to give me something?"

Rachel nodded and looked up shyly. "I want to give you me."

Quinn's eyes widened slightly as what her girlfriend had said focused in her mind. "Rachel, we don't-"

"I know we don't have to." She stated softly, having already thought this through during the night. "I use to think that Finn would be my first. I use to think that he would one day turn out to be everything I had ever wanted and do everything that I had dreamed of him doing. He was that fairytale." She smiled, waving her fingers in the air in show of the childish thought. "But that was just a dream. He was never going to be what I wanted him to be. He was never going to get over his popularity and jock status, giving it away in a show of his love and devotion to me. He was never going to understand my dreams and passions. He was never even going to try on a level that I would deem as acceptable." She paused and stepped forward, gripping the former cheerleader's shirt in her hands. "But you did those things. You were everything I wanted... everything I dreamed of. I've found my fairytale first time in real life."

Quinn closed her eyes and swallowed as Rachel stood back up on her toes and their lips barely brushed together as she continued in a whisper.

"I want you to be my first." The brunette kissed her lightly and waited until the kiss was returned before deepening it slightly. She was ready for this, but she didn't want to rush it either. She still didn't know what to expect and was just glad that Quinn had some experience in this, even if it wasn't in lesbian sex.

"Rachel." Quinn broke away from the kiss reluctantly. She held the brunette close for a few seconds before she opened her eyes and met Rachel's. They were full of worry, almost as if she was preparing herself to be rejected. "Lets just slow down for one second." When the diva started to pull away, Quinn pulled her closer with an arm around her waist. "No. I'm not pushing you away. I just want to talk about this before we go jumping into it. That's all. I love you, remember?"

The shorter girl took in a deep breath and nodded her head. She was still too scared to look at the blonde so Quinn gently ran her free hand through her dark locks before lightly grazing her thumb over her cheek.

"I want to be with you. I want to be your first. I would treasure that experience. But I need to make sure that you really thought about this."

"I did." Rachel stated firmly, looking up to meet those hazel eyes. "I thought about it most of the night. You have given so much for me. More than I ever really expected you to and that alone makes you worth it in my book."

"And what if tomorrow I change my mind?"

The brunette frowned and pulled her head back in shock. "Would you?"

"No. But you still don't know what's going to happen down the road. Like you just said two minutes ago, you use to think that Finn would always be your first and now it's me. What if after graduation you meet someone who makes you feel more than I do now?"

"And what if I don't?" Quinn let out a long breath. Rachel was so stubborn, yet possibly right at the same time. "I don't know what's going to happen after graduation and neither do you. You could end up moving to New York for school or somewhere close and this could keep going... Right?"

The blonde dropped her head forward so they were resting against each other. "I hope it is that simple. I really do. I'm just trying to keep you from making a mistake. I just want to make sure this isn't impulsive or something that you will regret in a year or two. I don't want to hurt you... anymore than I already have."

Rachel paused and slowly stepped back, but kept a hold of one of Quinn's hands. "When it came to sex with Finn, Noah, and Jesse... I wasn't scared. I was curious. Every time we would find ourselves in an intimate setting, boundaries were pushed because I wanted to know what it was like. It, not them. When you and I have been in similar situations, it's always been about you and me. It's never been driven by curiosity, but rather a need laced with a little bit of fear."

"And that fear is why we shouldn't-"

"No, that fear is why this is okay. It wasn't fear because I had never had sex or done some of the things we had. It was because I was comfortable enough with you to do them without really thinking about it. I've never been that safe with someone before." She shrugged and dropped her eyes. "That's what scared me."

That's what scared Quinn as well. She had no control over herself when Rachel was around. She wanted more every second. Not more sex or whatever, but just more of her. Quinn dropped her head and kissed Rachel's cheek, resting there for a few seconds. "I love you and I would be honored to be your first."

This time when their lips met, it was calm. There was no need behind them, no statement to be made. It was a kiss of the moment, each living in the connection as it happened, feeling it for every sensation they could. "I need you." Rachel whispered as she turned them so she had her back to the bed. And with another kiss, she pulled Quinn down with her.

"You'll have me." The blonde responded between another set of kisses as they worked their way up to the head of the bed. "But I have no idea what I'm doing." Rachel laughed lightly but not ruining the moment. If anything, it had eased some of their nerves. "You're the one that did the research, remember?" Quinn teased, kissing the diva's blushing cheek before lightly nuzzling her neck.

"May I dare suggest using your imagination?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

Rachel held her smile as she ran one hand up Quinn's back and the other up her arm whose hand was gently running up and down the outside of her thigh. "It kind of comes with the territory though." She licked her lips as Quinn kissed just below her ear. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"It did. But being with a guy is a little different. I don't know if it will be better because my fingers are smaller..." Quinn suddenly stopped her kisses and dropped her head to the mattress next to Rachel's head and began laughing. "This is completely unromantic."

"It's reality." The brunette tried to reason with her, but feeling the exact same.

Quinn lifted her head with a smile on her face, beaming down at her girlfriend. "You deserve a bit more romance than this though, don't you think?" The brunette blushed and shrugged. "Then how about you give me some time to make this special for you. Because that's what it should be. And maybe I can get some research in there as well."

Rachel dropped her brow disapprovingly. "I will not have my girlfriend watching other women have sex and feel that it is allowing our first time to be romantic."

The blonde laughed lightly, knowing she would get that reaction. "Well how about I stay on those helpful, instructional sights which you decided weren't worth the effort to look past the strategically placed porn sites for."

"That I could handle."

"Hypocrite."

"Don't even act like you weren't jealous."

"Never said I wasn't." Quinn stated as she began teasing Rachel's neck again, sending the brunette into giggles. They may not have been having sex like they had previously thought, but that didn't mean they couldn't take advantage of their alone time.

"So, when were you wanting to do it then?"

The blonde pulled her head back to look at her girlfriend once more. "Why do we have to plan it? Don't you think it would be more memorable and meaningful if it just happened instead of being planned out?"

"Yes. But you do realize who you are talking to, right? I require a plan."

"Well, with this... you aren't allowed to have one. I'm going to be in control of it."

Rachel arched an eyebrow, lifting her shoulder to stop Quinn from returning to her kisses. "You are in charge of me losing my virginity?"

"Seeing as I'm the one that is taking it... yeah." She paused and searched Rachel's face. She was unamused. "I'm sticking to it. I don't think we should plan this out and just let the mood happen."

"And what if said mood strikes while my father's are home or your mother?"

Quinn smirked and leaned back in to nip Rachel's neck. "Can't you be quiet?"

"Quinn Fabray!"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: One more chapter (probably). Short author's note tonight. I'm exhausted from my car ride and am battling a stomach bug on top of that. I'm even posting it very early because I'm having difficulty keeping my eyes open. So I will simply say thank your for ready and reviewing and I hope that you all enjoy. Also, let me know what you think they should do in the end. I will be home in time to be able to post Friday so you won't have to worry about being left without an ending all weekend. I wont do that to you. (Loosely edited/proofed/I wrote it at work and didn't remember half of what I had written)**

**~/~/~/~**

Quinn didn't think she had ever kissed for so long in her life. Actually, she was sure of it. Without parents or school or friends or homework to get in the way, she and Rachel just kept going. Their lips were kiss swollen and tender but that's when they started letting their tongues play and their lips rest.

"Do you want to take a break?" Rachel asked, sitting up, straddling Quinn's waist. The blonde only shook her head as she ran her hands just under Rachel's shirt, feeling the warm skin of her torso. The diva arched an eyebrow as the blonde's hands kept rising, lifting the garment with her. Rachel got the picture and removed her shirt. "So maybe you are ready?"

Quinn shook her head while running her hands over her girlfriend's hips and pulling her back down into a passionate kiss. "I just need to feel you."

"The last time you said that, you were trying to pull my panties off."

The blonde smiled at the memory and the sudden return of those desires. Without warning she flipped their positions so the shocked, wide-eyed diva was on the bottom and Quinn's hands were working on removing the rest of her clothing. The bra was first. The skirt and knee high socks next. Then slowly, teasingly, Quinn ran her warm hands up the length of Rachel's legs to her hips where they hesitated. The diva smiled at her girlfriend, ready for this step, but Quinn's hands drifted higher instead. Quinn was just exploring at this point. Rachel would have protested but the gentle thumbs grazing the underside of her breasts had her biting down on her bottom lip instead.

Quinn leaned forward on her knees and swirled her tongue around one of the hardened buds and took it in her mouth, watching Rachel's reaction as she did. Nothing worked her up quicker than hearing those moans and whimpers, seeing the brunette's furrowed brown and captured bottom lip. Quinn knew right then that this was going to happen. She was lost in Rachel and there was going to be no one to stop them. Her mother wasn't due home for several hours still and Rachel was already almost begging for it. She couldn't deny it from her any more. The mood was there. It was the right time, not forced.

While her mouth kissed a trail to the other fleshy peak, Quinn slowly glided her hands down Rachel's body that was shaking in time with her ragged breaths. Once they reached her hips, then slid backwards over her ass which was given a light squeeze. From there her fingers hooked onto the back of the tan, lifting them up to cradle her sides. Not gaining the skin contact she was looking for, Quinn quickly grabbed the back of her tee shirt and pulled it over her head and moaned as Rachel's silky smooth legs grazed her bare sides.

Rachel decided to give her a bit more motivation and raked her nails up the blonde's stomach before moving to undo her bra. Quinn had lost the battle as soon as the brunette discarded the offending garment and their bare chests touched. Here she was suppose the experienced on, the one with the control, the one who wasn't going to get lost in the moment and could make this about Rachel. But with every touch of Rachel's fingertips along her spine and each sweet, tender kiss from her lips... Quinn was realizing that she didn't need to be that. She just needed to be in the moment, not worrying about the next step.

"I love you." She whispered against Rachel's ear before pressing her lips lightly to the sensitive skin of her neck.

"I love you too."

"I'm not going to hurt you again." She promised as her kiss-swollen lips grazed over the diva's collar bone as her chest rose and fell with each breath of need.

"I trust you."

"I'm going to protect you... be there for you." She stated, placing a hot kiss between her breasts and continuing lower.

"I know you will."

"I'm going to be your fairytale." She announced as she pulled on Rachel's underwear and the diva lifted her hips, helping discard the last barrier.

"You are my fairytale."

Quinn move up again, resting an elbow by Rachel's head as the back of her other hand ran along the inside of the singer's thigh. She pressed her lips to the brunette's ear and they each closed their eyes. "I can be more."

"You already are." Rachel's breath caught as the blonde ran her fingers through her folds, feeling her girlfriend for the first time. The brunette clutched at Quinn's arm when she connected with her bundle of nerves and began to massage it. She had done this to herself but it felt so much better for someone else to do it. She swore she could actually feel more. Perhaps the fact that she had been painfully aroused and waiting for this for the last half hour didn't hurt. Whether intentional or not, with every circle of Quinn's fingers, extra pressure was being added and the diva was already fighting an impending orgasm. Was she really going to come that quickly? Then again it wasn't all_ that _quickly with the hour long build up they had. "Quinn."

The blonde pulled her head back to look at her girlfriend, never stopping her motions. Her breath was catching and her moans were getting more vocal. "Yes?"

"I'm... oh..." The former cheerleader's eyes widened and then she smirked. She knew that look from her time dating Finn.

She grinned devilishly as she lowered her head back down and whispered in her girlfriend's ear. "I want you to cum for me, Rachel." That's all it took. That and a little bit more added pressure and Rachel came undone. Quinn loved the feeling of the smaller girl's body arching up against hers and quivering beneath her. "It's so sexy to see you do this." The blonde mumbled in her ear as she dropped her fingers down to gather the fresh juices, spreading them on her fingers and Rachel. She knew what was coming next. She teased the smaller girl's entrance with the tip of her middle finger, circling it as Rachel came back around. The blonde kissed her tenderly and met her eyes, searching for any last sign of doubt but not finding any. "Are you ready?"

Rachel nodded her head, wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck and resting their foreheads together. "I'm ready."

One more circle and then Quinn gently pushed in. She stopped as soon as she got the tip in and then realizing that Rachel was fine, pushed in a little further. As soon as she got up to her second knuckle the diva tensed and she paused again. "It's okay." She assured her and Rachel nodded her head. Quinn took the moment to explore a little, moving her finger around but never going deeper. She had never done this to herself so it was a new experience for her too. After a few seconds of adjustment Rachel nodded her head again and Quinn pulled her finger out slightly before pushing it back in.

It felt strange yet great to Rachel as she did it until she was being stretched again. She dug her nails into Quinn's shoulder and the blonde stopped, backing up and slowly pushing in again. "That feels good." The brunette confessed as Quinn continued her slow pulsing motions.

"Does it?" She needed to make sure. All she had to go by was Rachel's facial expression and the diva's eyes were currently screwed shut tightly. It could be easily mistaken as pain.

Rachel licked her lips and nodded her head. "It does." The grip her arms had on the blonde's neck loosened and dropped down until her hands cupped Quinn's neck. "It's different, but... still really good."

Quinn beamed and tried her luck, pushing in a little bit more with each pulse. She could feel Rachel's body tighten down around her and became addicted to the sensation, wondering if it would do that every time, pushing her to continue. Maybe it didn't hurt because it was only one finger. Her fingers were long but not very big. But if Rachel liked this, she would give her just this. She kept working her finger in and out, quickening her pace just slightly as Rachel began to rock her hips with her and moan, but Quinn found out quickly that the tight warmth around her was fading.

"I need... more." Rachel stated before she could even suggest adding another finger.

"It might hurt more."

Deep brown eyes met hers and pulled her down into a light kiss before the brunette's arms were back around her neck in anticipation. "I know. But I still need you." Quinn pulled her middle finger completely out and both felt the sudden loss. She slipped just her ring finger in to the last knuckle before pulling it out as well, trying to lubricate everything for the most gentle entrance. She placed the tip of both fingers at the warm hole and pushed in.

Rachel instantly clutched at her and whimpered in pain. "I'm sorry, Baby. I'm so sorry." Quinn whispered in her ear, tears burning at her eyes.

"No, it's... it's okay. This is how it happens. The pain is normal and will fade." She tried to assure her girlfriend as well as herself. Quinn kissed her neck again and waited for the nodded telling her to continue. She went much slower this time, making small pulses that gently went deeper. Rachel didn't let go of her neck like she had before. Not for awhile anyway. Quinn figured for her to still be this uncomfortable she must have ripped her hymen. That thought in itself caused others to race through the blonde's mind. She really was Rachel's first. She had taken something and she couldn't deny it.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she felt the brunette's body relax underneath her. She hadn't realized that she had managed to work her fingers in to the last knuckle already.

"It's feeling good again." Rachel confessed capturing Quinn's lips with hers, adding a bit more passion to it than before.

"Is it?" The blonde asked absently, losing herself in those perfect lips again.

Rachel met Quinn's eyes and nodded, this time with a smile. "Really good."

The blonde grinned and returned her attention to her fingers and the brunette's lips, trying to find that spot that she happened upon before as the diva moaned in her mouth. The spot that had Rachel's body jerking without an orgasm.

Rachel had a wave of doubt rush over her body with the first shot of pain, but Quinn was gentle and patient with her. Now that she had adjusted, the pleasure was undeniable and all she could do was grin as she bit at the blonde's lips and rocked her hips in time with her thrusts. "Oh, fuck." She called out and gasped as her girlfriend found that spot again.

"That's it?" Quinn asked, hitting it again, causing Rachel to gasp and moan in response. She curved her fingers up and pushed in again with a bit more confidence to make sure that was it.

"Well, don't stop." Rachel remark when the blonde paused, waiting for an answer.

She rolled her eyes at herself. She knew better. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just don't... fuck..." Rachel dropped her head back against the pillow as Quinn began moving her fingers at a quicker pace. "Just don't ever fucking stop." The blonde grinned and took advantage of the now bared neck in front of her, kissing, licking and nipping and her fingers sped up again. She had lost the spot and was searching for it. "Ah!" She found it again and made a mental note of depth and angle. "More."

"More?" She asked in shock.

"No... just... faster." That she could do. She began thrusting faster and in turn harder. She could feel her own wetness running down her legs at the noises Rachel was eliciting. The moans, the gasps, the jerky curses. She never thought hearing someone swear would be such a turn on but when her name was mixed in with them, it was almost too much to take.

Rachel could feel the pull in the pit of her stomach as Quinn bit down hard on her pulse spot. She didn't care that her girlfriend would leave a mark. She could mark her all she wanted if she kept this up but she needed that release that last final push over the edge.

"Fuck, Quinn. I need... mmm... I need to come." The blonde froze except for her now burning arm. How was she to do that. She had only ever accomplished that by... oh. She could do that. As placed her thumb against the diva's clit, it rocked back and forth against the bundle of nerves as she pounded into her and Rachel nearly arched off the bed. "Oh, yeah. Fuck... fuck... oh my god, baby... so good." She was grasping at the blonde hair as Quinn lowered her head, teasing one of Rachel's breasts in her mouth. It was all too much. Her body tensed and her breath halted until she felt the explosion of release.

Quinn sat up on her knees and watched in awe as Rachel came. Her screams of pleasure filling the house and probably the neighborhood. Her walls contracting so tightly around her finger and the sexiness of her spent body gasping for breath after. Rachel was gone. She couldn't even open her eyes or move her shaking limbs. Quinn just smiled down over her lovingly then leaned down, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face before kissing her cheek. "I love you."

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When Rachel woke up, it was to Quinn running her fingers through her hair and lightly calling her name. "Rachel?"

"Hmm?" She heard the blonde laugh and could almost feel the smile radiating off of her face.

"I would watch you sleep forever but my mom will be home soon. I'm not too sure she's ready to find a naked girl in my bed just yet."

"Should I get dressed then?"

Quinn laughed again before she sighed in her contentment. She would be perfectly happy if Rachel was to stay in her bed forever, but that wasn't realistic. "I think you might want to."

"Mmm. And what if I can't move?"

"Then I get to keep you forever?"

"Sounds good."

"Okay."

The room fell silent for several long minutes and Quinn began running her hands through Rachel's hair again. "You're going to put me back to sleep if you keep doing that." The diva warned in her exhaustion heavy voice.

"I thought I got to keep you." The brunette opened her eyes and met Quinn's glowing face. This was real. It hadn't been a dream. Quinn was actually being this sweet and romantic and unguarded. "Do I have something on my face or something?" The blonde asked in concern of Rachel's staring.

"No. I just... I don't know."

"Well that was informative and quite an accomplishment I might add. It's not every day that someone can leave Rachel Berry speechless."

Rachel smiled as she looked at Quinn carefully. There was something different about her. Something Rachel had never seen before. She just seemed... unconcerned with anything and relaxed. "You've actually managed to do it on a regular basis."

"Have I?"

"You have."

Quinn bit her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded as she smiled. "You might want to take a shower before you get dressed though. And I need to do some laundry as well."

"So you wont join me in the shower?"

The blonde beamed but shook her head. "I think we have had an eventful enough day today. But don't think I wont try tomorrow." Rachel smiled and accepted Quinn as she leaned forward and kissed the diva tenderly on the lips, lingering in the connection. "I love you." She stated, barely pulling away.

"I love you too." She replied with a chaste kiss. "But you are correct. I do wish to have a shower before I head ho-ah! Ouch... oh my God." Rachel winced as she tried to get up.

"Are you okay?"

The brunette nodded her head and tried to force on a smile as Quinn sat up in concern. "Yeah. Just... sore."

"Oh. Yeah. Totally know that feeling." The blonde stated, remember the day after she let Puck take her virginity. "Good news is that it will fade by this time tomorrow... maybe."

Rachel paused as she sat up in Quinn's bed, holding the sheet to her chest. "What are we going to do about tomorrow? What are you wanting to do about tomorrow? Are you wanting to play your fight with Santana off as just extra rage from that time of the month or-"

"That time of the month? Have you been thinking of excuses for me to use?" Quinn asked with an arched eyebrow.

Rachel just shrugged. She had. She knew Quinn had put herself out there but there were still ways to get around it. Rachel had her proof that she was willing to give it all up for her, but did she actually have to? The knowledge was all she needed if Quinn still wasn't ready. "It's just an option and completely your choice. I do understand the need not to be at the bottom of the social ladder and I wont hold it against you anymore, but I do have one request." She stated, dropping her eyes to the space between them. "At lease be my friend."

"Rachel... I love you."

"I know. You've showed me. I love you too and I've shown you as well. Neither or those things are in doubt anylonger. Which is why I'm allowing you to have this choice. I know you love me and aren't going to abandon me. But I also don't want you to lose everything because of me. We can use your plan, but just... revise it a little. We clearly aren't going to have Santana's support but you might have put your foot down on that topic as well. I strongly doubt she will enjoy being embarrassed like that again. Perhaps she may just... fall in line?"

Quinn bounced her head from side to side. That might work. No one had ever stood up to Santana like that, let alone left marks on her to prove it. She might think twice about pressing her luck again. "She might."

"So even if you are no longer a Cheerio, you might have her in your back pocket still. Who knows, maybe you could even reach an agreement with Coach Sylvester and get your spot back on the team. I'm sure you are resourceful enough to manage something like that... again." The blonde laughed lightly. Rachel was making it seem so easy, and maybe it was. "I just want to know that you'll at least be my friend in the eyes of the public and I can settle for you being my girlfriend in our own homes. Until you are ready, that is."

Quinn smashed her lips between her teeth as she thought about it. Rachel had her proof and would have her friendship so she wouldn't be hurting her anymore. But was that the easy way out? OR Was she ready to come out to the world? Coming out to her mother had kind of been forced upon her and while she was thankful the secret was out and things were so hush hush, there was still a lot of building to do with that relationship. Could Judy provide her with the support she would need coming home after being slushied and thrown into dumpsters because she loved another girl? Quinn wasn't so sure.

"I'm not expecting an answer right now though." Rachel stated, breaking her from her thoughts. "I understand there are several layers of considerations to make and it is not an easy task to take on. So I will give you the night and allow you to announce your decision tomorrow. May I suggest meeting in the parking lot before hand?" She nodded. "Then that is our current plan of action... after I take my shower and you do your laundry."

Quinn smiled and stood up from the bed, allowing Rachel to wrap herself in the top sheet as she made her way to the bathroom.

"And Quinn." The blonde turned around to give all of her attention to her girlfriend. "Thank you. It was the perfect first time."

"You deserved it. It was an honor to be chosen."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Alright. Last chapter. It didn't end like I was expecting it to, but I'm sticking with it. It's finished yet kind of open ended as well. Mainly because I might do a sequel to it later down the road. But right now, I'm planning on wrapping up the other story and taking a break for a bit. It's going to be longer than my last five day break, but I will be back with the sequel to BWYDT when I do. I'm hoping to start writing ahead with that story so I might be able to actually use a beta to proof it. **

**So, once again, I have to thank all of you (and I mean there are a lot of you) who have read this story. Another huge thank you for everyone who reviewed. I mean, just twenty chapters and over 500 reviews is just insane! I do, however, fear that some of you wont be completely happy with the ending because it leaves some things open. That's why I'm saying there is a possibility of a sequel or at least a quick 5 chapter or so wrap up later. Just with the move and everything going on, it can't happen anytime soon.**

**But again, thank you all for showing your interest and support. Enjoy!**

**~/~/~/~**

"Hey, Mom? Can I talk to you?" Quinn asked quietly after a knock on the woman's bedroom door. The older blonde was sitting in bed, reading a book which to Quinn's surprise was not the Bible. After a quick nod of her mother's head and a concerned smile, Quinn pushed the door open further and took a seat near the foot of the mattress. "What are you reading?"

Judy hesitated for a second and blushed before closing the book and handing it to Quinn. The younger blonde was a mix between embarrassed and proud at the same time. Her mother was reading a book on how to handle the discovery of your child's sexuality in a positive light. "Bryan Berry suggested it for me. It's been... insightful." Quinn just smiled as she returned the book. "But what did you want to talk about?"

"I..." She paused, unsure of how to continue. "I wasn't ready to come out to you, but it worked out pretty well." She stated as she picked at the blanket in front of her. "And we hadn't planned on coming out to Rachel's dads... or _I_ hadn't planned on coming out to Rachel's dads just yet but it worked out pretty well too."

Judy nodded her head. "We're your parents. We aren't going to just stop loving you because of this. It is just going to take some time for us to fully adjust."

"I know that."_ Now._ "But... I don't know if I'm ready to come out in school."

The older woman took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she set down her book on her night stand to give her daughter her full attention. "And why not?"

Quinn shrugged reflexively. "I guess that I know for a fact that most people aren't going to be okay with it. I've seen how they've treated Kurt, so I know what's coming."

"So this is about popularity again?"

"No!" Quinn cut her off. "Well, sort of, but not the whole thing. It's just... you knew Kurt was gay, right?"

"Of course." She nodded with understanding. "You had told me as much several years ago.

"Exactly. I told you. So there are other's who are going to tell their parents as well. This is where most of my reluctance comes in. Because this is going to impact you as well. You're co-workers are going to find out. The church is going to find out. You'll be shunned just as much as I am. And what about Daddy? What do you think he's going to do when he finds out?"

Judy took another deep breath. She had been thinking about all of these things. The congregation at church had actually applauded Russell on his handling of Quinn's pregnancy and were currently lifting their noses to the teenager's presence there now. Sure they had welcomed her back, but only so they could use her as an example of what not to do. A show of how church and prayer can fix people's sin filled souls. But this would be too much for them to handle. Then there was Russell. They had finally gotten him to stop pounding on the doors at three in the morning. She couldn't even begin to imagine what he would do after he found out.

"I understand your concerns, but don't worry about me. Okay?" Judy tried to reassure her with a warm smile. "I told you. You're my daughter. You come first to me. Not other people's opinions anymore."

Quinn's mouth tweaked in a forced smile but only for a second. "You'll end up alone though. You're friends-"

"Aren't really my friends if they turn away because of who my daughter... has feelings for. Just like yours. Am I right?"

"You are." She admitted hesitantly. "But what about Daddy? Are we really ready to deal with him when he finds out this news? When things at school go bad, I have this house to come back to to try and forget about it all. But if he's here all the time again. Or worse," Quinn exclaimed with excitement, having not thought about this possibility before now. "What if in his drunken rants, he goes over to the Berry's house. You know how he can be. He'll push until he either gets his way or feels he has had his revenge in some manner. He will blame them."

"Quinn, calm down." Judy stated, leaning forward and placing her hand on her daughter's shoulder. Despite the fact that she was telling her daughter to relax, Judy was freaking out internally herself. She had always considered Russell acting out against this discovery, but never thought of him taking up his issues with the Berry family. That was something that he _would_ do.

"But how can I relax, knowing what he will do. I can see him starting a picket line on the sidewalk in front of their house, stating that it's public property and he has the freedom of speech and assembly."

She could see him doing that too. The Berry's would probably end up getting nasty phone calls in the middle of the night as well. "I'm sure that Bryan and Mark have thought about this as well. They said that they have dealt with difficulties because of how they live their life and are accustom to these things."

"But they aren't use to Daddy." Quinn tried to plead and Judy closed her eyes in frustration. She was trying to take the pressure off of her daughter's shoulders but at the same time could very much understand why it was there and had no other place to displace it to.

"What are you saying, Quinn?"

The younger blonde got quiet. "I'm not sure coming out in school would be the wisest decision just yet. I mean,with time. Once you have gotten use to it and have... I don't know, like, found solid ground to stand on. Once I've had the opportunity to explain Daddy to the Berry's so they know exactly what's going to happen, or could possibly happen. Then I would like for Rachel and I to come out."

Judy sat in silence for a moment, trying to ignore the instant sigh of relief she was wanting to let out. This was about Quinn, not her. "And what would Rachel think about this idea?"

"She left it up to me." The older woman arched an eyebrow, having been filled in on the girls' issues on the topic already. "She did. Today actually. She stopped by and we talked for a while. She said that what I did with Santana and with you and her dads was the proof she needed to trust me. She knows I really care about her and would give everything up for her. She's just not so sure I actually need to. Not yet at least."

"And you would be alright with going through the school day ignoring her?"

"I wouldn't ignore her." Quinn stated firmly. "We would be friends in the eyes of the school. Best friends even."

"And the rumors?" Judy inquired, trying to poke holes in this plan if Quinn hadn't really thought about it all.

"Ignore them. Let them talk."

"And you'd be alright with that? You don't think that kids would still go back to their parents with the rumors?"

Quinn shrugged and resumed picking at the blanket with her fingers. "They would just be rumors. I think there would be a difference in reaction compared to Rachel and I strolling into school holding hands." Judy couldn't argue that and Quinn found finality in her silence. "So... what do you think?"

"I think... that it's your choice."

"Mom! I'm looking for your opinion. I've already told you what I think would be best. Now I'm wanting to know what you think."

There was no getting around it. Her daughter needed her support. "I'm just not sure what's best for you. This book," she began, lifting the book from her night stand, reading the back cover. "Talks about how important it is to let you be yourself and encourage you not to hide. But I think that our family doesn't exactly fit the norm it is referring to."

"So..."

Judy finally relented. "If, and only if, you are one hundred percent sure that Rachel would be okay with it, I would suggest waiting a little. That way we are all better prepared for what could possibly happen with your father. I've been trying to keep myself out of the equation but I would feel more comfortable with having some time to process everything before having to deal with him and everyone else on the topic. I know it's selfish of me-"

"No it's not. It's understandable. Especially since you're going to be my main source of support. It's not exactly fair to you to throw this at you and say now deal with it in forty-eight hours so you can comfort me when I come home in tears and covered in multiple colors of slushie."

The older woman dropped her eyes, still learning of the new things she was going to have to be prepared for. "Okay, well even if you don't think it would be selfish of me, that is still my belief. Perhaps you could set a time to revisit the decision so Rachel isn't just left hanging."

"Exactly. It's not that I'm just wanting to hide, there's a reason for it. It's just temporary though. Once everyone is fully prepared, then we can move on to the next step. I just feel like throwing us all into this right away isn't going to work. Or it could be done better."

Judy nodded her head slowly. "Just make sure Rachel really is okay with this. Her emotions are involved as well."

~/~/~/~

Quinn had decided that she liked this sneaking out business. Even though she could have gotten permission from her mother and Rachel's fathers, the adrenaline rush of running through the night towards Rachel's house was just too much to deny. The big goofy grin on her face was enough proof of that. This time though, she avoided the pebble toss and opted to climb the lattice to her girlfriend's second-story window. She was once again thankful that she had been on the cheerios for as long as she had been in order to get over her fear of heights. But even that wouldn't have stopped her tonight.

Rachel's bedroom light was on and Quinn peaked inside, hoping not to scare the brunette. The diva was just coming out of her en-suit bathroom, already dressed in her pink pajamas when Quinn tapped lightly on the window. Rachel quickly looked at her bedroom door and shut it before running over and opening the window quietly. "What are you do-"

Her words were cut off by Quinn's lips on hers in a deep kiss that knocked the air from her lungs. The blonde held the connection as she slipped one leg into her girlfriend's bedroom, pushing her backwards to allow her to fully enter the room. "Get dressed." She ordered when she finally pulled away, both girls panting after the extended connection.

"I just got dressed." Rachel playfully argued as she draped her arms around Quinn's neck and the blonde placed her hands on the shorter girl's hips, gently kissing her lips again. Things were definitely different since they had sex earlier. There was much more of a comfortable atmosphere between them. They had made a special, unbreakable bond.

"In street clothes."

"You don't have another picnic planned do you? Because I just brushed my teeth and everything would taste funny afterwards."

The blonde laughed lightly and placed a quick kiss on Rachel's nose. "No. I just want to take you somewhere just to be away from the houses. That's all. Nothing's planned. Just talking."

"Just talking?" Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well... I wouldn't be opposed to anything if you had something else in mind."

"I bet you wouldn't be." The diva teased as she gave in to yet another perfect kiss form those perfect lips.

Quinn pulled away and rested her temple to the shorter girl's. "You need to get dressed before we end up doing something on that bed right behind you that I don't think your father's are fully prepared to listen to just yet."

"But I still have to return the favor from earlier if I remember correctly."

The blonde lifted her eyes to the ceiling, asking for strength. "Maybe we can get to that tomorrow after school. But right now... you need to get dressed so I can sneak you out."

"Fine." Rachel relented, releasing her girlfriend and grabbed some clothes before returning to the bathroom. Quinn smiled to herself when she heard the door lock behind her. Where was the trust? "Happy now?" Rachel asked as she emerged a few minutes later in a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt.

"Very. Especially if it starts to rain again because I could see right through that shirt." The diva rolled her eyes and grabbed a jacket just in case, before following Quinn out the window. Once they both descended the lattice, Quinn grabbed the brunette's hand and began running. There really wasn't a reason to run, but she just felt the urge. Spirits were high and free.

"Where are we going?"

"The park."

"Is that a safe place to be at night?"

Quinn smiled at her girlfriend's typical worry. "I'll protect you from any boogeymen. I promise." Both girls giggled as they ran the two blocks to the nearest park, instantly finding themselves in a familiar embrace when they reached the first picnic table. Rachel's hands were resting on Quinn's shoulders as the blonde held her close around the waist, each trying to catch their breath. "I love you."

The confession always brought a smile to Rachel's face, but it grew even bigger during moments like these when she wasn't expecting to hear it. I mean, this was Quinn Fabray who never showed her feelings, let alone broadcast them routinely. "I love you too."

"Here. Have a seat." The blonde stated as she checked to make sure the top of the picnic table was dry from the earlier rain shower they had.

"This must be important then." Rachel teased lightly. If Quinn hadn't been in such a good mood, she would have been a little worried as to what this was all about.

"It is. Well, it's about what you said before you left today. About letting me decide if I wanted to wait or not." Quinn explained quickly, standing in front of Rachel, holding her small hands in hers. "I wanted to really talk to you about it to make sure you meant it."

"I did mean it." She really had. She hoped that Quinn wouldn't want to hide, but she wasn't entirely ready to come out herself either. Things had grown a little bit more complicated lately and having to explain her emotions to Finn was going to be tough. She had professed her deep love for him so many times now. It was going to be difficult to explain that perhaps she was wrong or that she might have let her dramatic side get the best of her. She cared for him, but what she was feeling for Quinn dwarfed it in comparison. She also wanted this to be Quinn's choice because she couldn't live with herself, having to watch the girl she loved be tortured because she wanted everything right now and was too selfish to wait. "I thought we were going to discuss it tomorrow before school?"

"We were, but... After talking with my mother and getting her thoughts on things, I've already made that decision." Rachel mashed her lips between her teeth and nodded. "I want to wait." Quinn paused to try and read the brunette's reaction but couldn't quite place it. "Not just because of the teasing though and not forever. I just want everyone, you, me, Mom, and your dads to have time to adjust to everything. We need that base of support and right now, it's kind of wobbly."

"That is... true."

"I also need time to prepare you for my father's possible reaction." Rachel pulled her head back slightly, not having even considered Russell in the equation. "I mean, you saw him that one night you stayed over. He's out of control when he drinks. I'm afraid that if he finds out about us, that he will flip out again and maybe... show up at your place instead of ours."

Rachel _definitely_ hadn't thought of that.

"I just think that it would be better for all of us to have a firm grip on the reality of the situation. It's not as simple as going to school, raising your hand in the air, and confessing that we are dating only having to deal with the slushies and name calling. It's a little bit bigger than that and will take some..."

"Planning?" Rachel suggested and Quinn nodded her head. The brunette could see the shame in the blonde's eyes. "Quinn, it's okay. I understand. I hadn't even thought about your father and I know for a fact that my dads will also be concerned about that possible development. I agree that an understanding between your mother and my dads is required before anyone is put in the position to have to deal with a drunken Russell Fabray."

Rachel smiled as Quinn let out a sigh of relief. "I just wanted you to know that I'm not hiding. I'm just being cautious with us. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to be with you. I just want to protect you. To protect us and my mother. So, I propose a one month postponement on coming out to everyone at school. That should give our parents time to adjust and develop an understanding about how to handle my father and when or if to involve the police."

"What about Santana? What about the rumors?"

"I'm still not a Cheerio, so she can pretty much do what she wants. But whatever she comes up with, I plan on ignoring. I'll try your suggestion of standing up to her to see if she'll back off out of fear of further embarrassment, but if she doesn't... I'm not going to worry about it. Like I said," She assured Rachel with a smile and a gentle squeeze of her hands. "I'm not ashamed of who I am and what we have."

Rachel nodded her head and smiled. "So with the rumors?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny them." She beamed, proud of herself for feeling so strongly as not to deny her girlfriend. For once, she had no doubt in her mind.

"I can live with that. It will give me some time to come up with an idea of how to deal with Finn. You know how he is. He only wants what he can't have. If he's with me, he wants you. If he's with you, he wants me. For him to know that he can't have either of us, he'll want us both."

"And I'm not down for sharing." Quinn stated with an arched eyebrow.

"And neither am I."

"Good." The blonde leaned forward and pecked her lover's lips, but Rachel pulled her back in with a gentle hand to her neck. She could kiss this girl forever and never get tired of it. Her lips were perfect, her breath minty fresh from her night time brushing. Everything was soft and gentle yet passion filled and unrestrained. "But just so we're clear... we still get to do this, right?"

Rachel smiled slyly as Quinn closed her eyes and rested her forehead against hers. "This and so, so much more."

"You're killing me, you know that?" Quinn stated breathlessly as Rachel placed light, tender kisses down her jaw to her neck.

"And how am I managing to do that?"

"By showing me what I'm going to be missing for a month while at school."

"Well," Rachel began, flicking her tongue against Quinn's earlobe before suckling it for a second. "The way I view things as the opportunist I can tend to be, is there are many, many moments we could steal away together."

"Yeah?" Quinn asked absently as her mind was torn between the hot breaths and lips on her neck and the hands running over her sides and stomach.

"Yeah. Lunches off campus or hidden away in the auditorium. Choir room retreats between classes. Extra Glee club rehearsals for just the two of us. But that's just for a month. Four weeks. Then..." She moved her lips up to brush against Quinn's ear, sending shivers down her spin. "Then you're mine."

Quinn suddenly turned her head and captured Rachel's lips forcefully, bringing and hand up to cup her cheek and hold her in place. There was only so much teasing she could take before she had to act and she had reached her limit for the evening. Things quickly escalated as heated kisses were exchange, hair was lightly pulled, and Rachel began working at the blonde's belt. Until that is, a loud boom of thunder echoed over them and the rain began to fall, instantly cooling down the rising temperature between them.

"I guess our plans for tomorrow after school will have to suffice." Rachel beamed as she fixed Quinn's belt and followed as they both began running back towards the singer's house, giggling the whole way. Things were too perfect. They knew school was going to be the kink in their chain of perfection, but they were sure what they had was strong enough to hold up to it.

"I don't want to let you go." Quinn confessed as she pulled the smaller girl into her, pressing their foreheads together as the rain trailed lines down from their hair over their faces. The brunette swallowed hard, always wanting to hear these things, but not having a way to follow through with them just yet. "I know I have to, but I just don't want to."

Rachel pulled away, blinking her eyes as the light raindrops fell on her long lashes while she studied her smiling girlfriend's face. This was going to work. They were going to make it work. "Maybe one day you wont have to. Maybe," She shrugged and dropped her eyes, hesitant to push the topic again. "You'll decide to go to college near Julliard and you wont have to. We could share an apartment or something off campus."

Quinn gently lifted her index finger to the underneath of Rachel's chin, lifting it so their eyes could meet. The look in those deep brown eyes always melted her heart, but especially now as the rain continued to fall around them, moistening the brunette's lips, tempting her even more. She licked her own and returned her eyes to Rachel's waiting gaze. "Maybe I'm already planning on it."

"You... what?"

The blonde shrugged and ran the back of her fingers along the brunette's jawline until the hooked behind her neck. "Without Cheerios practice taking up my time, I think I might try and get my job back and save up some money for the move."

Rachel stood dumbfounded for a second. She knew a lot could still change between now and then but hearing that Quinn was so seriously considering the option caused her heart to burst with happiness. If the blonde didn't know her girlfriend as well as she did, she wouldn't have realized that tears of happiness were mixed in with the rain water running down her cheeks as they both stood there, soaked and content.

"You really are a fairytale come true."

"Not yet. But I plan on being one."

With that, both girls shared one more smile before passion took over them and they leaned in slowly until their lips joined once more. It wasn't overpowering or rushed, but rather a cherished connection. They broke for a quick gasp of air before they met again, Quinn closing her eyes tightly at the sweetness of her lover's kiss and the unique sensation of the cooling rain on her lips. This was so cliché, kissing in the rain, but it felt so perfect that she didn't want to stop. Rachel's hands found her neck and encouraged her further, neither caring about their surroundings, just each other as they slipped into another loving caress. It was only when Rachel started to shake that Quinn pulled away, resting their temples together.

"You're cold."

"I know. I don't want to go but my shaking is giving me away."

"Yeah, but I was also referring to something else."

Rachel looked down as Quinn pulled the flaps of her jacket back to exposed her soaked white tee shirt. "Excuse me." The singer retorted, slapping her jacket closed while Quinn smiled broadly. "Those are not yet yours."

"They aren't?"

"No. They are very much still mine. I only allow you to play with them when I like."

"So when can they be mine for keeps?"

"When I have a ring on my finger." Rachel informed her as she moved away and began to climb the lattice up to the room.

"Any ring?" Quinn smiled up at her. "Because I can have one for you tomorrow."

"Quinn Fabray!"

"Rachel Berry!"

They stood there, Rachel standing on the roof, looking down at the blonde as she smiled up to her, batting away the falling raindrops from her eyes. "... I love you. Now go home."

"And what if I don't want to?" She asked seriously.

The diva hesitated for a second, looking back into her bedroom to see if there was any sign of her discovered absence. "Then be quiet and get your ass up here."


End file.
